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The Secret to Attracting Anything You Want in Life

The Secret to Attracting Anything You Want in Life

The mindset you need to have to attract anything in life including a great sex life is the same mindset you need to have to be wildly attractive on-camera. The better you get on-camera, the more you’ll be able to attract whatever it is you want in life.

The Science of On-Camera Attraction

Nowadays, no matter what you want, the odds are you have to – at some point – appear on camera to get it. Online dating? You need an attractive dating photo.  Job hunting? A headshot is a must and often a Skype interview is part of the process. Have an online business? You’re going to have to make and appear in videos (because nothing on the internet converts higher than video).  The success you have in either attracting the lover, getting the job or booking the client all starts with being attractive on camera. If there’s one thing you take from this article, it’s that being attractive on-camera has NOTHING to do with physical looks.

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When I talk about attraction, I am talking about one’s ability to attract whatever it is they want through photos and videos. This is a consequence of something that has nothing to do with being ‘pretty’ or ‘handsome’ and everything to do with something else.

Have you ever seen a couple fighting in public? If you think back to a time when you have, you’ll probably remember they attract a lot of attention. People cautiously hush their own conversations and shift their attention over to the couple that’s fighting. Why? Is it because they’re being socially inappropriate? Not really. It’s because they’re not self-conscious at all.  They’re highly emotional and completely committed to having an impact on the other person. They don’t care that they’re in public and are absolutely not self-conscious. Because of this, they are very attractive and it’s hard for people to look away. They’ve captured the attention of others and are holding it without even trying.

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You can can learn to do the same without have a domestic dispute in public. There are certain things anyone can do on on-camera that will make them instantly more attractive than someone who’s not doing them.

From Self-Conscious to Other-Conscious

The goal is to get you from being self-conscious to other-conscious. Hopping back to the bedroom analogy for a moment, when two completely other-conscious people are in the bedroom, there are some serious fireworks. When you have two self-conscious people in same bedroom scenario, things can be awkward. Awkward would describe 99% of the people that first step in front of my camera – before I share with them what I’m about to share with you.

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There are three very simple decisions you need to make before you step in front of any camera.

  1. Who are you talking to? Specifically? The camera is just a passthrough unto whomever you want to reach. It’s an inanimate object that is simply designed to capture what’s there. When we get specific about who we’re talking to, it immediately connects us to something outside of ourselves. Hint: pick a person you feel strongly about. A lover, husband, wife, best friend. Someone who you care deeply for and focus on them.
  2. How do you want to make them feel? Happy? Inspired? Sexy? Loved? Once you decide – then do that. How? You already know how. The way you greet someone you adore is a very different than how you greet someone that you want to back over with your car. It’s called acting. It’s what the best actors in the world do. They focus on who they are talking to and how they want to make them feel. If you’re being photographed, this is all you need. If you’re in a video, since you have to speak, you need to add one more element.
  1. Why. Why are you talking to them? To inspire them? To share your passion about a product you’re selling or to teach them (fill in the blank)? If you’re in business and you know your subject matter, this is all you have to do. Think about who you’re talking to and why. The what will take care of itself. This is what allows people to hop on a video platform like Periscope or Facebook Live and be brilliant without a script.  Oprah Winfrey is a master of this and a large part of the reason behind her $3.2 billion net worth.

That’s the value of The Science of On-Camera Attraction. It’s limitless. The better you get on-camera, the more you’ll be able to attract whatever it is you want in life. All it takes is a little bit of practice.

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More Confidence Between the Sheets

How do things in the bedroom go for you when you’re feeling self-conscious? Self-conscious about yourself or your body (or a part of your body)? Do things go well or not so well? How would you describe your experience in the bedroom when you’re feeling self-conscious? Probably, not so good. Or even, not at all.

But what about when you feel totally free? When you’re not watching yourself or self-conscious at all? When you feel able to completely lose control? Things tend to go a little bit better for you, don’t they? In most cases, a lot better. The truth is that the tools you need to have a great orgasm are the same tools you need to be wildly attractive on-camera.

Consider the approach you probably took in your bedroom journey. That first experience you had was probably an awkward one. But you didn’t say: “Well that wasn’t much fun, I’m not going to try that again.” After that initial bit of awkwardness wore off, you probably thought: “I feel this is worth trying again – (and again and again).” If you take that same approach with your on-camera work and focus on who you’re connecting with and how you want to make them feel you’re going to see an instant increase in your own level of attractiveness on-camera. I’d even go so far as to say if you apply this mindset to other areas of your life you’ll see some pretty exciting benefits there as well.

Featured photo credit: lovepankycdn via lovepankycdn.confettimediapri.netdna-cdn.com

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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