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6 Things A Woman Who Is Difficult To Love Can Learn From Her Relationships

6 Things A Woman Who Is Difficult To Love Can Learn From Her Relationships

Relationships in general are difficult. Although everything about them is exciting, adventurous, daring, etc., they still take a ton of work. It’s more difficult when you’re a woman who is difficult to love. You shouldn’t look at yourself and think something is wrong with you. You’re just careful about who you invest your time in.

People are drawn to you like you would not believe. But, if they happen to get too close, they may wish that they had kept their distance. Because of your complicated nature, there will be intense arguments, but intense make-ups follow. I’ve heard people talk about complication as being a bad thing, and I always wondered how happy living a simple life could possibly be.

There are few who can keep up with your beautiful and brilliant self because more often than not, you’re driving them absolutely crazy. Unfortunately for your partner, you drain them of their energy because you just so happen to feed off it so easily.

You’ve probably noticed these qualities about yourself, and after a few failed relationships, you’re looking to make some changes. You want to become easier, someone who’s easier to love, but all of that is boring and foreign to you.

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Everything you do is circled around passion — you swim in it so gracefully. Without passion, life is meaningless to you, and so are your relationships. You’re a nightmare and a dream in one woman’s body. You’re captivating and alluring to everyone around you.

You may be hard to love, but you are so worth it. You are deserving of the most passionate kind of love there is out there, and you won’t stop until you discover it.

When you find a love that lasts, embrace it, hold on to it so tightly because for the first time in a long time, you finally have something right. Here’s what women like you can learn from relationships.

1. Love takes work

When you take a look back at all of your failed relationships, you may start to ask yourself what is wrong with you. The answer to that question is absolutely nothing.

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You may find yourself settling for these lukewarm sorta-kinda’s to satisfy your longing for an intensely passionate relationship with someone who understands what it’s like to be loved by you. The truth of the matter is that those people can’t handle you and everything that you have to offer, that’s why they haven’t worked out. You should be loved so fiercely that it ignites your inner passion to the fullest.

It may be difficult to love you, but the truth is, the person who deserves you, earns you.

2. Love is patience

The only kind of person who is going to be able to handle someone like you is someone who has an incredible amount of patience. You understand that patience and love come as a package deal.

You’re chaotic, and most times there’s no point in trying to fix it because, I mean, why would someone want to change who you are? The right person will be able to work with you side by side instead of trying to “fix” you.

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3. Happiness comes from self-love

You have probably heard it a million times before, but you will truly never be able to love another person until you are able to love you for exactly who you are.

When you begin to truly appreciate you, and spend quality time alone for self-improvement and self-development, you’ll begin to notice why your shots at love before tended to fail.

4. Love is compromise

You have never been a good compromiser. You have a routine and anything that disrupts that routine is not allowed. So, in return, all of your relationships fall to the ground.

Once you come to the realization that no love worthy of your time can survive without compromise, you’ll be able to embrace it for what it is. It’s all about give and take.

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5. You must live with your craziness

Most of us try and hide our craziness for as long as we possibly can. But what’s the point? You can’t possibly do that forever — that’s not who you are.

Truthfully, it gets hard being told that you’re absolutely nuts, but in all honesty, you are kinda (really) a crazy woman. It’s fine. Your craziness isn’t a bad thing. It lights up the world. You make the world different.

6. Love yourself just the way you are

Just because you are difficult to love does not mean that you are a bad woman or someone who is unable to be loved. You are just complicated, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that or you. You’re beautiful, fun, caring, adventurous, and fierce.

Take your failed relationships as lessons and just that. Don’t spend your time analyzing them after they’re over, wondering what you could have done differently to make them last.

You are an incredible human being and only a truly brave heart can love you. All the others will take it with a grain of salt and walk away, no questions asked. It’s not impossible to have a relationship with you just because you are difficult, and you learn to love yourself in spite of that.

The right love will love you as passionately as you deserve.

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Erica Wagner

Erica is a passionate writer who shares inspiring ideas and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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