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6 Things A Woman Who Is Difficult To Love Can Learn From Her Relationships

6 Things A Woman Who Is Difficult To Love Can Learn From Her Relationships

Relationships in general are difficult. Although everything about them is exciting, adventurous, daring, etc., they still take a ton of work. It’s more difficult when you’re a woman who is difficult to love. You shouldn’t look at yourself and think something is wrong with you. You’re just careful about who you invest your time in.

People are drawn to you like you would not believe. But, if they happen to get too close, they may wish that they had kept their distance. Because of your complicated nature, there will be intense arguments, but intense make-ups follow. I’ve heard people talk about complication as being a bad thing, and I always wondered how happy living a simple life could possibly be.

There are few who can keep up with your beautiful and brilliant self because more often than not, you’re driving them absolutely crazy. Unfortunately for your partner, you drain them of their energy because you just so happen to feed off it so easily.

You’ve probably noticed these qualities about yourself, and after a few failed relationships, you’re looking to make some changes. You want to become easier, someone who’s easier to love, but all of that is boring and foreign to you.

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Everything you do is circled around passion — you swim in it so gracefully. Without passion, life is meaningless to you, and so are your relationships. You’re a nightmare and a dream in one woman’s body. You’re captivating and alluring to everyone around you.

You may be hard to love, but you are so worth it. You are deserving of the most passionate kind of love there is out there, and you won’t stop until you discover it.

When you find a love that lasts, embrace it, hold on to it so tightly because for the first time in a long time, you finally have something right. Here’s what women like you can learn from relationships.

1. Love takes work

When you take a look back at all of your failed relationships, you may start to ask yourself what is wrong with you. The answer to that question is absolutely nothing.

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You may find yourself settling for these lukewarm sorta-kinda’s to satisfy your longing for an intensely passionate relationship with someone who understands what it’s like to be loved by you. The truth of the matter is that those people can’t handle you and everything that you have to offer, that’s why they haven’t worked out. You should be loved so fiercely that it ignites your inner passion to the fullest.

It may be difficult to love you, but the truth is, the person who deserves you, earns you.

2. Love is patience

The only kind of person who is going to be able to handle someone like you is someone who has an incredible amount of patience. You understand that patience and love come as a package deal.

You’re chaotic, and most times there’s no point in trying to fix it because, I mean, why would someone want to change who you are? The right person will be able to work with you side by side instead of trying to “fix” you.

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3. Happiness comes from self-love

You have probably heard it a million times before, but you will truly never be able to love another person until you are able to love you for exactly who you are.

When you begin to truly appreciate you, and spend quality time alone for self-improvement and self-development, you’ll begin to notice why your shots at love before tended to fail.

4. Love is compromise

You have never been a good compromiser. You have a routine and anything that disrupts that routine is not allowed. So, in return, all of your relationships fall to the ground.

Once you come to the realization that no love worthy of your time can survive without compromise, you’ll be able to embrace it for what it is. It’s all about give and take.

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5. You must live with your craziness

Most of us try and hide our craziness for as long as we possibly can. But what’s the point? You can’t possibly do that forever — that’s not who you are.

Truthfully, it gets hard being told that you’re absolutely nuts, but in all honesty, you are kinda (really) a crazy woman. It’s fine. Your craziness isn’t a bad thing. It lights up the world. You make the world different.

6. Love yourself just the way you are

Just because you are difficult to love does not mean that you are a bad woman or someone who is unable to be loved. You are just complicated, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that or you. You’re beautiful, fun, caring, adventurous, and fierce.

Take your failed relationships as lessons and just that. Don’t spend your time analyzing them after they’re over, wondering what you could have done differently to make them last.

You are an incredible human being and only a truly brave heart can love you. All the others will take it with a grain of salt and walk away, no questions asked. It’s not impossible to have a relationship with you just because you are difficult, and you learn to love yourself in spite of that.

The right love will love you as passionately as you deserve.

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Erica Wagner

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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