Advertising
Advertising

Couples Who Drink Together Are Happier Together, Study Finds

Couples Who Drink Together Are Happier Together, Study Finds

We all want to know the key to a successful and happy relationship. Mutual respect, having similar life goals, trust, a sense of humour and openness with each other are fundamental traits of a good relationship, but what else helps you along your journey to a successful and happy partnership?

Well, if you like to open the occasional bottle of wine then you may be in luck – but only if you share that bottle with your partner. It seems whether a partner’s drinking habits match our own could also be an important factor on how to have a happy relationship.

Advertising

New research from the University of Michigan has found that couples who drink together are happier than couples where only one partner drinks. In other words, couples who drink together, stay together. In particular, those with similar drinking habits are happier because it’s seen as a bonding activity rather like taking walks together but with more alcohol.

What The Study Involved

The team of researchers analysed data from a 10-year study involving 2,767 married couples over 50 in the U.S. The couples used in the research were married for 33 years on average and two-thirds were in their first marriage.

Advertising

Interviews and questionnaires about the quality of their marriage were undertaken every two years including questions about whether they felt their partner was too critical or demanding, how supportive and helpful they were in times of need and how irritating they found their spouse. They were also asked about their own drinking habits – if they drank, how often they drank, and how much they drank.

How To Have A Happy Relationship: What The Study Found

The data showed that, in more than half of the couples involved in the study, both partners did drink alcohol, with husbands more likely to drink than their wives. However, interestingly, general marriage dissatisfaction was higher when wives drank while their husbands refrained from drinking.

Advertising

It seems the amount of alcohol isn’t too influential – although couples may have reported drinking different amounts, this seemed to matter less. The only downside would be if one person was obviously considered to have a drinking problem which brings separate issues to any relationship.

The study also highlighted how much couples influence each other with their drinking habits when spending more time together whether taking long vacations or in long-term circumstances such as retirement. It seems drinking habits tend to mirror each other when spending long periods of time together.

Advertising

However, the experts say drinking in moderation with each other is an effective way to bring a sense of unity, fun, and togetherness to a relationship. It’s important to note that it’s all about similar drinking habits so those couples that are both tee-total were also found to have happy and successful relationships. They also stress that couples shouldn’t drink more or change the way they drink in hopes of improving a relationship. However, study author Dr. Kira Birditt does suggest it’s a good idea to occasionally abstain from drinking alcohol when your partner does, too.

‘We’re not suggesting that people should drink more or change the way they drink. We’re not sure why this is happening, but it could be that couples that do more leisure time activities together have better marital quality.’

So, if you want to know how to have a happy relationship – whether you enjoy long walks, go jogging together, do yoga classes together or any other hobby – pouring yourselves both a glass of wine and enjoying the company can be added to your list of bonding activities that go towards a better life together. In other words, if handled with care, drinking together can add a nice fuel to a relationship but hopefully without the nasty hangover the next morning.

Featured photo credit: pixabay.com via pexels.com

More by this author

Jenny Marchal

Freelance Writer

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 11 Killer Ways To Get Rid Of Roaches Without Harming You If You Understand These 5 Rules In Psychology, You Can Live A Much Easier Life How To Get Over Someone You Deeply Love Complete Guide To Getting Rid Of Flies In The House

Trending in Communication

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 217 Ted Talks for Kids to Inspire Little Minds to Do Big Things 310 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 4Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts 5Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next