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Date Someone Opposite To You, If You Want To Grow In A Relationship

Date Someone Opposite To You, If You Want To Grow In A Relationship

It is said that opposites attract and in relationships this is especially true. It is natural to be attracted to individuals who are different from us – and somewhat exciting.

Some relationship experts believe that we are naturally drawn to individuals who have strengths that we are missing. They feel that we as humans, all posses an innate quest for completion. And, our attraction to an opposite personality could actually be our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual, by causing us to face the areas in life where we are weaker.

Learning how to truly love, appreciate and embrace each others’ differences is a major key to having a relationship that is long lasting and fulfilling while simultaneously experiencing personal growth. Because when two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded unit.

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How to make a relationship work when you are opposites:

Just as being opposites drew you to each other, it can also tear a relationship apart. Learning how to make a relationship work in spite of major differences is challenging however, the rewards can be so much more fruitful than if you and your partner were exactly alike.

Think of it this way; if both of you are exactly the same, one of you is un-necessary.

Opposites balance each other

If one half of the couple is loud, opinionated and a social butterfly and the other half is quiet, soft spoken and reserved–they can both learn from each other. They can not only help each other tone it down and amp it up, but they also can help each other understand how others may be affected by their behavior.

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If one person is a free spirit and lacks routine and the other is a planner and calculates every move, both parties would definitely benefit from adopting some of the habits of the other. Or if one is a spender and worry-free when it comes to financial responsibility and the other is extremely frugal and watches every penny–the chances of that couple having a life time of great experiences and a tidy retirement nest egg –are greatly increased.

We all need balance in our lives and having a partner that is your opposite automatically adds the missing piece of the equation.

Being with your polar opposite exposes you to a different point of view

Whether or not you agree with another person’s perspective is not nearly as important as being exposed to it. A lot of people feel that opposing–or just different–viewpoints automatically results in conflict, which is not entirely true. Being exposed to and considering a subject from a different angle doesn’t mean you have to agree or that you are weak minded and gullible. It does demonstrate your willingness to engage, understand, learn and grow.

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Seeing things through the eyes of another allows you to become more empathetic and relate to the world in a different way. It expands your mind, awakens a different set of senses and unleashes in you the power to make even better decisions.

Being with someone who is different hones your ability to compromise

Learning to compromise is not only key in how to make a relationship work but also in navigating life. Traditionally, when we think of compromise we think that we must give up something,  the other also person has to give up something and we both only get half of what we want. But truly effective compromise creates “win-win” situations. If you can learn to see your partners diverse needs, likes and desires as an opportunity for you both to be enriched, empowered and satisfied, you will thrive in the area of creating the “win-win.”

Compromise is driven by communication. When seeking to compromise one usually “gives in” to the other. But being with someone who is very different than you are affords you more opportunities to hone your communication skills and develop the creativity and ingenuity it takes to produce scenarios where everyone wins.  And that is not just good for your relationship–it’s just good, period.

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Learning how to make a relationship work with a person who is dissimilar is challenging. Challenges build character and fortitude. Don’t shy away from dating someone because they appear to be too different from you. You may be passing up an opportunity to experience true love, develop a deep appreciation for divergent viewpoints and the opportunity to become your best self.

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Denise Hill

Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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