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Date Someone Opposite To You, If You Want To Grow In A Relationship

Date Someone Opposite To You, If You Want To Grow In A Relationship

It is said that opposites attract and in relationships this is especially true. It is natural to be attracted to individuals who are different from us – and somewhat exciting.

Some relationship experts believe that we are naturally drawn to individuals who have strengths that we are missing. They feel that we as humans, all posses an innate quest for completion. And, our attraction to an opposite personality could actually be our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual, by causing us to face the areas in life where we are weaker.

Learning how to truly love, appreciate and embrace each others’ differences is a major key to having a relationship that is long lasting and fulfilling while simultaneously experiencing personal growth. Because when two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded unit.

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How to make a relationship work when you are opposites:

Just as being opposites drew you to each other, it can also tear a relationship apart. Learning how to make a relationship work in spite of major differences is challenging however, the rewards can be so much more fruitful than if you and your partner were exactly alike.

Think of it this way; if both of you are exactly the same, one of you is un-necessary.

Opposites balance each other

If one half of the couple is loud, opinionated and a social butterfly and the other half is quiet, soft spoken and reserved–they can both learn from each other. They can not only help each other tone it down and amp it up, but they also can help each other understand how others may be affected by their behavior.

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If one person is a free spirit and lacks routine and the other is a planner and calculates every move, both parties would definitely benefit from adopting some of the habits of the other. Or if one is a spender and worry-free when it comes to financial responsibility and the other is extremely frugal and watches every penny–the chances of that couple having a life time of great experiences and a tidy retirement nest egg –are greatly increased.

We all need balance in our lives and having a partner that is your opposite automatically adds the missing piece of the equation.

Being with your polar opposite exposes you to a different point of view

Whether or not you agree with another person’s perspective is not nearly as important as being exposed to it. A lot of people feel that opposing–or just different–viewpoints automatically results in conflict, which is not entirely true. Being exposed to and considering a subject from a different angle doesn’t mean you have to agree or that you are weak minded and gullible. It does demonstrate your willingness to engage, understand, learn and grow.

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Seeing things through the eyes of another allows you to become more empathetic and relate to the world in a different way. It expands your mind, awakens a different set of senses and unleashes in you the power to make even better decisions.

Being with someone who is different hones your ability to compromise

Learning to compromise is not only key in how to make a relationship work but also in navigating life. Traditionally, when we think of compromise we think that we must give up something,  the other also person has to give up something and we both only get half of what we want. But truly effective compromise creates “win-win” situations. If you can learn to see your partners diverse needs, likes and desires as an opportunity for you both to be enriched, empowered and satisfied, you will thrive in the area of creating the “win-win.”

Compromise is driven by communication. When seeking to compromise one usually “gives in” to the other. But being with someone who is very different than you are affords you more opportunities to hone your communication skills and develop the creativity and ingenuity it takes to produce scenarios where everyone wins.  And that is not just good for your relationship–it’s just good, period.

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Learning how to make a relationship work with a person who is dissimilar is challenging. Challenges build character and fortitude. Don’t shy away from dating someone because they appear to be too different from you. You may be passing up an opportunity to experience true love, develop a deep appreciation for divergent viewpoints and the opportunity to become your best self.

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Denise Hill

Speech Writer/Senior Editor

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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