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If You Always Play It Safe, Are You Really Living?

If You Always Play It Safe, Are You Really Living?

In life, we have to make many decisions. From what we are going to eat, what we are going to wear, what we are going to do today and sometimes we have to make a decision that can impact our lives drastically. We may need to make a crucial business decision, choose whether we stay or leave a certain relationship or even have to make a decision that could impact someone else’s life. We reach a crossroad and whichever decision we choose will put us onto an entirely different path.

Today, I found myself at a crossroad. I wasn’t really given much time to think about it and had to come up with an answer on the spot. I had a choice between keeping my 9-5 or jumping on a plane to Cambodia. I didn’t even give it a second thought, I quit my 9-5 job. Now some people may think that quitting my full time job was reckless. I am not telling everyone to go ahead and just quit their job, but before you judge, hear me out.

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Learning from your past

One thing I learnt while I worked in Recruitment, was that if you are great at what you do, make sure to make yourself known. Even if you aren’t looking for another role, you never know what could happen around the corner. If other recruiters/headhunters know about you, when a role pops up they feel you would be a great candidate for, you will be the first to know about it. If your company’s competitors know who you are, when they are looking for quality staff, guess who they’re going to contact first?

In saying this, I wasn’t particularly looking to jump ship. I had actually turned down multiple job opportunities this year alone. I was however always open to hearing about what was out there. This worked out in my favor big time. I am a firm believer of the law of attraction. You attract what you think. If you have good thoughts, good things and good people are drawn to you.

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Funnily enough as the words ” I am resigning” came out of my mouth. My phone had buzzed with a job offer. I was just thinking to myself, I really shouldn’t resign if I haven’t got anything secure lined up. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Synchronicity is the universe showing signs, guiding you in the right direction.

Making a decision

I could’ve played it safe, kept at my secure job and helped make someone else’s dreams come true. I won’t get into the logistics of it all, but bottom line is that I used to love it. I used to be motivated and passionate. Lately, it literally sucked the life out of me. It ate at my soul.

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I think I would much prefer to jump on a plane, go and meet the Buddhist monks, awe at the beauty of the temples, wander through the rainforest and soothe my soul by doing yoga and meditation everyday. Get away from the rat race we find ourselves in and be centered.  Ground myself, feed my soul and nourish my happiness, so I can come back and kick goals again. This trip is much needed. I believe it is important to take time out to do things that soothe your soul.

I think back to past relationships, when I was indecisive about whether I should stay or go. I was comfortable, it was what I knew. Leaving was so scary and unknown. I couldn’t imagine life without them. You know the drill. Do I regret leaving any of my exes? Hell no. To think of the opportunities, the growth, the experiences I have had that I would not have otherwise experienced, if I had stayed with any of them. It definitely rings true, when they say that life begins outside of your comfort zone.

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Look at anyone successful in business, do you think they got to where they were without taking risks? They took a risk to start a new venture, they took a risk to follow their dream. Do you think they played it safe? Now there is a difference between being reckless and taking risks, but I truly believe that if it gives you a chance at happiness, you should take the risk and just go for it.

Don’t have regrets

Life is short and happiness is priceless. If you fail, well you actually didn’t because you learnt something along the way and maybe next time you know better. And if you succeed? Oh, imagine that. So if you stay in the job that you hate just so you have security, if you stay in the relationship that doesn’t bring value to your life because you are scared to be alone, if you continue to do what is easy instead of starting that awesome business idea you have because you might fail. Is that bringing you happiness?

So the real question is, if you play it safe, are you really living?

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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