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3 Reasons You Should Release the Weight of Failure When You Have No Job

3 Reasons You Should Release the Weight of Failure When You Have No Job

One of the best things you can do when you feel like a failure is challenge your perception.

When you have no job, feeling like a failure isn’t uncommon. The problem comes in when you give too much thought to your “lack of success” and failure becomes your identity. When this happens, failure weighs you down. The weight becomes so heavy, you find it hard to do what you can to better your situation and look ahead.

If you’ve been carrying the weight of failure while you’re unemployed, then here are 3 reasons you should release it.

1. The Weight Of Failure Makes You View It Negatively

You think failure is who you are when you carry this heavy weight. As a result, you go through a cycle of negativity. This negativity is destructive. Why? Because you forget an important truth: failure shows you tried.

You planned and executed your plan. Determined a university. Declared a major. Went to class for years. Graduated. Looked forward to getting a job in your field but haven’t yet accomplished this goal.

On the other hand, you might’ve gotten a job after college but now find yourself out of a job for some reason. You’ve been applying for jobs, but what’s been happening? So far, you’ve failed to land a job offer.

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But guess what matters more? You took action along the way and continue to do so. You didn’t let thoughts of failure stop you from embarking on your journey to professionalism. And still don’t despite rejections and let downs.

It’s a disappointing experience, no doubt. However, it shows how courageous you are. All you can do is give the job search your best efforts. From there, you learn, better yourself, and start over — with the wisdom acquired.

2. The Weight Of Failure Makes You Forget You’re On Your Own Journey

Unemployment not only brings feelings of failure, but it also brings the comparison temptation.

How often do you compare yourself to others (online or offline) and feel discouraged? How often do you question how others are securing job offers and you’re not? How often do you wonder why others are advancing professionally but you’re failing?

If you answered “often,” then you’ve most likely fallen into the comparison trap. This isn’t a healthy activity because this type of comparison increases the weight of failure. It leaves you feeling worse than others.

In an article on the Coloradoan, Dr. Lloyd Thomas, a Licensed Psychologist, states:

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“. . . As adults, when we compare ourselves to others, it is usually to evaluate ourselves as “worse than” or “better than” or “equal to” other people. When we measure ourselves against others, it causes us psychological harm.”

So, instead of engaging in unhealthy comparison behavior — and forgetting you’re on your own journey — consider the following tips:

  • Adjust Your Thoughts. Pay attention to your thoughts, take them captive and replace them with truth. This is an important tip because your thoughts affect your actions. If you believe you’ll never make money (again), then you’ll never explore every legitimate opportunity available.
  • Accept Your Life And Career Journey (Including Your Failure). There might be similarities, but everyone has their own unique journeys in life. Don’t focus on the journeys of others. Instead, focus on your own and move forward courageously. Keep believing you can still succeed — or succeed again — at the right time.
  • Be Grateful For Your Achievements To Date. Take time regularly and do the following: remind yourself about your accomplishments. Think about the compliments you received in previous roles and jobs. Think about the people you’ve helped along the way. When you do this, you’ll be grateful for what you’ve done without a focus on what you haven’t done yet.

3. The Weight Of Failure Makes You Forget (And Reject The Possibility Of) Other Successful Outcomes

Failing hurts. Rejections sting in the job hunting process. But please don’t forget your other accomplishments.

Sure, you haven’t yet met your expectation of quickly landing a job offer. But remember, you’ve been successful in other things along the way: entering and graduating from high school, college, and for some, graduate school. You’ve acquired knowledge and valuable skills along the way. You have natural talents, which allows you to help yourself and others.

Please don’t take these things for granted because you’ve failed to find a job.

It’s easier to focus on the negatives when you’re dealing with unemployment challenges. I know. Yet, the better choice is to focus on your past and present successes with gratitude.

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You might’ve noticed I also said “present successes.” Here’s why: you can accomplish things while you’re unemployed. You know this, right?

In my case, if employers hadn’t rejected me, then I wouldn’t have started blogging. I wouldn’t have learned content writing, online marketing, and other skills.

I took the stings of rejection personally, but I didn’t let them stop my quest for professional knowledge and growth.

So to you: don’t let unemployment stop you from remembering past accomplishments. Additionally, don’t let unemployment leave you blinded to your accomplishments now. If you haven’t yet accomplished something because your failure has you down, please know failure isn’t the end unless you allow it to be. So, do what you can each day to move forward. Professionally, this might include:

  • Determining your strengths and the ways they’ll benefit an employer
  • Focusing on what you want to achieve in your career
  • Tailoring your cover letter and resume (for a job you want) to better your chance of interviewing
  • Trying something new (learning and applying a new skill, for example)

These steps are small, but this isn’t a problem. What matters is you’re moving forward with action and hope.

Professor Johannes Haushofer’s CV of Failures proves you can succeed after failing. Refuse to let your failure define your future. Boost your resilience and keep it moving.

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Conclusion

If you’ve been feeling like a failure while you’re looking for a job, then please believe this: you’re not a failure. In the words of Zig Ziglar,

“. . . failure is an event . . .”

It won’t negatively impact your career without your allowance. So, though it won’t be easy, make an effort to let go of this weight. Consider its benefits. Use it as a learning opportunity. Better yourself, do what you can to move on from your “lack of success,” and look onward.

Take things one day (and step) at a time, with your head held up high.

Featured photo credit: Milada Vigerova via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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