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How My Life Has Changed After Having Children (But It’s Still Worth It)

How My Life Has Changed After Having Children (But It’s Still Worth It)

While awaiting the birth of your baby, there’s so much to do. You avoid certain foods, take special vitamins, and watch your body morph as it grows this miracle inside. You set up a nursery, buy everything you think you’ll need, and find yourself becoming weepy at sappy commercials or songs. Change is inevitable, but just wait, it doesn’t stop there.

The minute your precious bundle is laid in your arms, your heart explodes exponentially. You didn’t know you could love someone so much. Your whole focus now is on this little human being for which you are responsible in every single way. So naturally, you’ll change. Your routine will change. Your home will change. Heck, maybe even the vehicle you drive has changed. Many of these changes are welcome, some are funny. Others, well, to be honest, are not so welcome — sleep deprivation sucks. But all those changes are worth it when tasked with the joy and responsibility of raising a child. Some changes are obvious, some are not, but here are a few you might relate to.

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Sleep

Oh precious sleep, how we moms miss you. Whether it’s the middle of the night feedings and diaper changes to a sick toddler to a wee one with nightmares, the days of getting a solid night’s sleep disappear for awhile. Naps become your best friend. Some moms are fortunate to have babies who sleep through the night quite well, but to them I say, wait until they’re teenagers and you’re up late waiting for them to make it home safely and by curfew. You will not sleep soundly for days on end until you’re an empty-nester.

Food

When you’re pregnant, you remove some foods from your diet that can be harmful to a developing baby or give you heartburn. If you’re nursing, you avoid certain foods, too. But one day, you’ll catch yourself hiding in the closet, eating ice cream out of the carton. You want to set good, healthy eating examples for your kids, but at that moment, you really just want ice cream!

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Work

Some moms are blessed to stay home with their children and forego the working world for a while. Some moms love their jobs and happily return after maternity leave, while others must work due to their family’s financial situation. No matter what your work situation, it’s definitely changed from the pre-baby years.

If you’re at home during the day, you may find yourself one day loving every second of watching your child grow up and hit milestones. The next day, you’re begging your toddler to please take a nap so mommy can have a break. If you’re at work, there are mornings where you just can’t get enough goodbye hugs and smooches, then you drive to work sad to be leaving your little one behind. Other days, you may find yourself sprinting out the door gleefully, shouting goodbye to your child because you’re about to get some relaxing quiet time in the car on the commute to work.

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Emotions

You will feel like you’ve won the lottery when your baby takes his or her first real bite of food and doesn’t thrust it back out. You’ll cheer like a maniac when your baby takes his or her first steps. You just might be the loudest person in the stands when your preschooler starts playing sports or dancing or whatever activity he or she is trying. You vow that your child is the smartest on the planet when he or she phonetically sounds out a word, then reads a book, then scores an A on a school test, then lands a great score on the ACT or SAT in high school.

Your emotions will run high, but they’ll also run low. When you discover your child isn’t invited with other kids to a party, it will break your heart to see your child so sad. When your child tries out for a team or other activity and isn’t selected, the hug of solace you share tugs at your heartstrings. Every high and low your kid experiences, you will feel a similar way. It’s part of being a parent and wearing your heart on your sleeve. So applaud the positives, be supportive through the negatives, and let your child know that you always have his or her back.

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Success

Parenting successes can be quite comical, to be honest. In those first few days of having a newborn at home, if you are able to take a shower, that’s a big success. But simply knowing that your child is happy, loved, fed, clothed, has friends, interests, and loves life means you’ve succeeded. Don’t get hung up on the little things. There will always be parents who want to parade what they see as parenting successes in front of you. Don’t fall for it. Encourage your child to pursue his or her dreams, whatever age they are, and always been their number one fan. Teach them that success comes with hard work and won’t be handed to them.

Outlook On Life

Becoming a parent also means you’re well aware of the dangers that lurk around your child. You teach them “stranger danger,” how to drive safely, wear a bike helmet, wear a seatbelt, don’t text and drive, don’t drink and drive — the list never ends. But you also simultaneously develop a positive outlook on life in that you see what a wonderful contribution your child will make in this world once they grow up under your tutelage and leave the nest.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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