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4 Signs You’ve Found Your Perfect Match, According To A Relationship Expert

4 Signs You’ve Found Your Perfect Match, According To A Relationship Expert

Is your partner the one for you? If your life is showing these 4 signs, you may have found your perfect match! According to relationship expert Talia Goldstein, couples that last show these 4 signs. With that said, if you’re not showing these signs, it doesn’t mean you should immediately go dump the person you’re with. You may have still found your perfect match, and you just need to make some adjustments.

1. You Travel the Same Way

Want to determine whether you and your partner are a good fit? Plan a trip together.

“A good match is people who are willing and wanting to travel the same way,” Goldstein said.

If you want to rough it in a tent, but she thinks that idea is crazy and needs a 5-star resort, you may need to rethink your relationship. While a relationship like this can work, it’s going to cause some difficulties.

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“It’s indicative of your lifestyle,” Goldstein said. “It could lead to problems down the road.”

For example, these lifestyle differences could come into play when it’s time to buy a house or pick an education path for your children, the expert said.

“If you have a really narrow mind about the way that you travel, you probably have that same mindset in other aspects of your life,” she added.

2. You Have Common Interests You Love Doing Together

This one’s obvious, right? It is… but still so many people end up with a partner they have nothing in common with. Maybe they went strictly for looks and didn’t care about anything else. I personally couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with someone based on looks alone, and Goldstein agrees.

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“There should be at least two or three things you really like to do together,” Goldstein said. “It should be about spending time together.”

Not only should you both enjoy a few of the same hobbies or activities, you should also enjoy doing them together. Spending quality time with your significant other is what really matters.

3. Your Relationship Has the Right Balance

Goldstein states that in the majority of successful relationships she’s witnessed, the couple strikes a balance where one of them is “The Star” and one of them is “The Rock”.

“I found that the majority of my success stories fall into those categories, where sometimes one of them is outgoing and the life of the party, where the other is more stable and supportive,” Goldstein said.

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So if you’re super outgoing and your partner is a huge introvert (or vice-versa), that’s actually a good sign. Your social energies should compliment each other. Couples with two outgoing people (or two introverts) typically have more problems that those with inverted personalities.

“If you have the yin and the yang, they balance each other out,” the expert said. “I’ve found that balance works really well in a relationship.”

4. You’re With Someone Who Makes You Feel Good About Yourself

Many couples sap each other’s energy, and neither partner gets a chance to be themselves or express how they truly feel. These are very bad relationships. Instead, if you feel like you can be your complete self in your relationship, you’re on the right track.

“Relationships where you truly feel like you’re the best version of yourself — that’s the best way to see if you’re a good match,” Goldstein said.

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If you two can do weird stuff together (like fart, sit around in your underwear, or do crazy dances and make crazy noises – err, maybe that’s just me…) then you’re likely to stick together!

These four signs show your relationship is going well. I can’t stress enough, however, that if your partner and you don’t feel like you show these signs that doesn’t mean you haven’t found your perfect match. It just means you may need to change the direction of your relationship and work on a few things. Good luck!

Featured photo credit: Scott Webb via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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