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4 Signs You’ve Found Your Perfect Match, According To A Relationship Expert

4 Signs You’ve Found Your Perfect Match, According To A Relationship Expert

Is your partner the one for you? If your life is showing these 4 signs, you may have found your perfect match! According to relationship expert Talia Goldstein, couples that last show these 4 signs. With that said, if you’re not showing these signs, it doesn’t mean you should immediately go dump the person you’re with. You may have still found your perfect match, and you just need to make some adjustments.

1. You Travel the Same Way

Want to determine whether you and your partner are a good fit? Plan a trip together.

“A good match is people who are willing and wanting to travel the same way,” Goldstein said.

If you want to rough it in a tent, but she thinks that idea is crazy and needs a 5-star resort, you may need to rethink your relationship. While a relationship like this can work, it’s going to cause some difficulties.

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“It’s indicative of your lifestyle,” Goldstein said. “It could lead to problems down the road.”

For example, these lifestyle differences could come into play when it’s time to buy a house or pick an education path for your children, the expert said.

“If you have a really narrow mind about the way that you travel, you probably have that same mindset in other aspects of your life,” she added.

2. You Have Common Interests You Love Doing Together

This one’s obvious, right? It is… but still so many people end up with a partner they have nothing in common with. Maybe they went strictly for looks and didn’t care about anything else. I personally couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with someone based on looks alone, and Goldstein agrees.

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“There should be at least two or three things you really like to do together,” Goldstein said. “It should be about spending time together.”

Not only should you both enjoy a few of the same hobbies or activities, you should also enjoy doing them together. Spending quality time with your significant other is what really matters.

3. Your Relationship Has the Right Balance

Goldstein states that in the majority of successful relationships she’s witnessed, the couple strikes a balance where one of them is “The Star” and one of them is “The Rock”.

“I found that the majority of my success stories fall into those categories, where sometimes one of them is outgoing and the life of the party, where the other is more stable and supportive,” Goldstein said.

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So if you’re super outgoing and your partner is a huge introvert (or vice-versa), that’s actually a good sign. Your social energies should compliment each other. Couples with two outgoing people (or two introverts) typically have more problems that those with inverted personalities.

“If you have the yin and the yang, they balance each other out,” the expert said. “I’ve found that balance works really well in a relationship.”

4. You’re With Someone Who Makes You Feel Good About Yourself

Many couples sap each other’s energy, and neither partner gets a chance to be themselves or express how they truly feel. These are very bad relationships. Instead, if you feel like you can be your complete self in your relationship, you’re on the right track.

“Relationships where you truly feel like you’re the best version of yourself — that’s the best way to see if you’re a good match,” Goldstein said.

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If you two can do weird stuff together (like fart, sit around in your underwear, or do crazy dances and make crazy noises – err, maybe that’s just me…) then you’re likely to stick together!

These four signs show your relationship is going well. I can’t stress enough, however, that if your partner and you don’t feel like you show these signs that doesn’t mean you haven’t found your perfect match. It just means you may need to change the direction of your relationship and work on a few things. Good luck!

Featured photo credit: Scott Webb via unsplash.com

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Bill Widmer

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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