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My Friend, I Still Wish You Well, But I Need To Say Goodbye To You

My Friend, I Still Wish You Well, But I Need To Say Goodbye To You

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that the relationships you have are the most precious things you can possess. When life has a habit of turning upside down it’s the close relationships that are there to support you and drag you back out again.

I’m not perfect. I can be a bit stubborn, a bit ignorant and I’ve made my fair amount of mistakes in the past. I’ve hurt people I never meant to hurt through my own selfishness. Some friendships have lasted and some haven’t. I always expected you to be in my life because you’re my oldest friend but you’ve taught me that some people are just not destined to stay in my life.

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I’ve known you for so many years that, for some time, it wouldn’t even enter my mind that we would one day never speak again. We shared so many experiences and created memories that I’ll never forget, but there comes a time when two people start to grow apart. We start to realise that just because the friendship is old, doesn’t mean it’s worth holding on to. Our lives move in different directions, our thoughts and beliefs change and we can no longer keep up with the old versions of ourselves. I feel this happened for us a long time ago and since then you’ve not been there for me.

We are all constantly learning and growing but at some point life took us down separate paths. I tried to support you in your time of need but I barely got the same back. The phone calls stopped, the laughing over coffee dates and wine evenings stopped. You were busy when I needed you the most but your absence gave me time to reassess the value we now give to each other.

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I can’t say I’m not hurt but neither of us are at fault. We meet new people and they consume more of our time, we start new relationships that take us onto the next step in life and leaving behind the old. I’m part of that old for you and you for me. Some of the best memories I have are the ones I shared with you but that’s all they are – memories. We haven’t created any new ones for so long now and life has moved on.

I’m not angry. I understand. I want to thank you for coming into my life and teaching me how to laugh and cry in ways no one else has. I want to thank you for being the first real friendship I ever had and teaching me what a great friendship is.

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But I have to thank you for teaching me that I can’t keep giving people chances. People make mistakes by saying and doing things that they maybe don’t mean but recognising their mistakes and making the mistake over and over again is not a friend I need in my life. Trust is something I cherish greatly and it’s something you took away from me countless times.

It’s time to accept the truth – we don’t need each other anymore. What I’ve learnt now is that life is short and precious and it should be full of people who deserve the best of me and people who don’t take advantage of my support and trust. Breaking up with a friend is never easy but somehow you’ve made it easy for me now.

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You will always have a special place in my heart and I’ll sit, wondering and hoping you’re out there happy and content. After all, you’ve helped me become the person I am today and, for that, I thank you.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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