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My Friend, I Still Wish You Well, But I Need To Say Goodbye To You

My Friend, I Still Wish You Well, But I Need To Say Goodbye To You

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that the relationships you have are the most precious things you can possess. When life has a habit of turning upside down it’s the close relationships that are there to support you and drag you back out again.

I’m not perfect. I can be a bit stubborn, a bit ignorant and I’ve made my fair amount of mistakes in the past. I’ve hurt people I never meant to hurt through my own selfishness. Some friendships have lasted and some haven’t. I always expected you to be in my life because you’re my oldest friend but you’ve taught me that some people are just not destined to stay in my life.

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I’ve known you for so many years that, for some time, it wouldn’t even enter my mind that we would one day never speak again. We shared so many experiences and created memories that I’ll never forget, but there comes a time when two people start to grow apart. We start to realise that just because the friendship is old, doesn’t mean it’s worth holding on to. Our lives move in different directions, our thoughts and beliefs change and we can no longer keep up with the old versions of ourselves. I feel this happened for us a long time ago and since then you’ve not been there for me.

We are all constantly learning and growing but at some point life took us down separate paths. I tried to support you in your time of need but I barely got the same back. The phone calls stopped, the laughing over coffee dates and wine evenings stopped. You were busy when I needed you the most but your absence gave me time to reassess the value we now give to each other.

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I can’t say I’m not hurt but neither of us are at fault. We meet new people and they consume more of our time, we start new relationships that take us onto the next step in life and leaving behind the old. I’m part of that old for you and you for me. Some of the best memories I have are the ones I shared with you but that’s all they are – memories. We haven’t created any new ones for so long now and life has moved on.

I’m not angry. I understand. I want to thank you for coming into my life and teaching me how to laugh and cry in ways no one else has. I want to thank you for being the first real friendship I ever had and teaching me what a great friendship is.

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But I have to thank you for teaching me that I can’t keep giving people chances. People make mistakes by saying and doing things that they maybe don’t mean but recognising their mistakes and making the mistake over and over again is not a friend I need in my life. Trust is something I cherish greatly and it’s something you took away from me countless times.

It’s time to accept the truth – we don’t need each other anymore. What I’ve learnt now is that life is short and precious and it should be full of people who deserve the best of me and people who don’t take advantage of my support and trust. Breaking up with a friend is never easy but somehow you’ve made it easy for me now.

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You will always have a special place in my heart and I’ll sit, wondering and hoping you’re out there happy and content. After all, you’ve helped me become the person I am today and, for that, I thank you.

Featured photo credit: unsplash.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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