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Why Being Sad Helps Us Remember the Good Things

Why Being Sad Helps Us Remember the Good Things

Let’s admit it: no one likes to be sad. Preferably, I would assume that we would all like to be happy. Sometimes, my insight on life comes from the strangest of places and although the lesson was something not new to me, I needed it to be explained in a more child-like manner to get to this point.

Okay, I’ll be honest. I needed it in a cartoon — because all of life’s best lessons come from something animated with voice overs, right? If you check every animated film ever made, you will always find some hint of turmoil: someone dies, there’s an emotional struggle of some kind, or maybe even a sense of being lost. It happens in all of them.

Sadness comes to us all

Being sad doesn’t just happen in cartoons; it happens in real life. People I know have experienced medical issues so scary that it is literally a parent’s worst nightmare. The battles fought and the dealing with the uncertainty of what happens next can tear at someone — even if they hide it well.

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The feeling of helplessness is downright unbearable. Although I have never personally experienced something as the extreme, having your child’s health be “hit or miss” will make you pay attention —that’s for sure. Been there; done that.

Friends have endured years of suffering due to addictions and/or one’s inability to handle life in the most normal of ways. Whether that battle was fought in the public eye or more privately, the sadness from those experiences now is imprinted on our memories, and we must fight to let go of them in order to find happiness once again.

When our memories are felt

Some of these moments come closer to the surface as we near dates that are understandably significant — whether it be an anniversary, birthday, etc. And when those moments come, we will undoubtedly feel that pain once again of not having that person here with us. But a date isn’t the only trigger for our sadness.

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Sometimes, it can be just hearing that person’s name. Or hearing a song on the radio. Or even just a simple word can do the trick and send you reeling back into a moment of sadness. It happens to all of us.

Even at funerals, we realize that the person we love is no longer there. But sometimes, the best stories are shared at funerals because we learn more about the person, and laugh right along with the shedding of our tears. Or perhaps when we send a son or daughter off to college. We knew this day would come, yet once it is directly in front of us, we are forced to feel the loss of having our child home for dinner, as we rush off to attend their activities, and keep a steady watch until late hours in the night. Been there; done that too.

But those moments of sadness, regardless of the reason, do something else.

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We remember

They make us reflect on why we are sad and force us to appreciate the good moments we no longer have in our lives. We begin to forget a little bit of the heartbreak that first brought us to this moment, but soon understand that without that moment, we would not have reminisced about the memories no one can ever take from us.

We do our best to recapture those wonderful times through pictures, videos and the retelling of events. Some of which get slightly distorted and embellished and even those moments become something worthwhile on their own merit. Although I am a few years behind on putting our family’s pictures together in albums, and we share a picture or two via Instagram or Snapchat, we in turn celebrate the experiences we would otherwise not have.

Instead of holding onto grief, we find joy in the simplest of highlights in our lives and soon cherish those as we move about through our days. Because we have suffered a loss and have found ourselves without someone, we have no choice but to gather the significant times and hold a little tighter to them. Sometimes, our sadness is meant to serve as a reminder, and through that sadness, we find a few smiles and memories hidden in the tears.

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In the end, we would rather have had those moments, no matter how short they lasted, than to have never had them at all. We realize that something lost becomes more valuable, and the only way to appreciate it, is to revisit it from time to time. Sadness does that.

Featured photo credit: Daria Nepriarhina via unsplash.com

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Michelle A. Homme

Author, Speaker, Quote Writer, Empowerment Coach

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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