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What I Learned as a Dog Sitter

What I Learned as a Dog Sitter

For many, having a dog is an important part of life; it reminds us of our childhood and gives us happiness that’s been forgotten. Their cheerful smiles and loud barks when we return home instantaneously put a smile on our faces. We enjoy the company of our furry friends, and we do our best to protect them and care for them.

However, sometimes, we desperately need a vacation, and we can’t always bring our dogs with us, since airlines don’t have the best pet accommodations. This is where a dog sitter’s duty comes in. It is our job to care for these dogs while their owners are gone.  As a professional dog sitter, I realized a few life lessons these animals taught me that helped me in the long run.

1. Love unconditionally and never expect anything back.

Being a dog sitter, I sometimes receive about 10–15 dogs at a time. Some have medical conditions, some are extremely hyperactive, and others are rather docile. However, every one of them faces separation anxiety, as their owner leaves them with us. They often sit at the doorsteps during the first few days, waiting and waiting for their best friend to come back.

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Eventually, things settle down and they find it easier to spend less time on the doorstep. However, the moment they see their owner walking through the doorstep to pick them up, all the frustration, anger, and fear disappears, and the only emotion that exists at that moment is pure love.

Often times, we hold hostility toward our loved ones. Whether it’s due to circumstances or our own ego, however, watching these dogs give out love unconditionally made me realize why it’s important to always forget the hostility and to love unconditionally instead. With no expectations, you’re able to give freely without expecting anything in return.

2. Always listen to your heart and follow your instincts.

As humans, we often deliberate between logic and our conscience; eventually, logic wins, and we ignore the voices of our hearts. We are taught and trained that nothing is superior to logical thinking itself. However, the decisions we make based on analysis and calculations often end up being wrong, and sometimes, they’re irreparable.

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As I observe those dogs, running , jumping, and flying around in the backyard, I realize that they always relied upon their instincts. Usually, when the owners leave their dogs with me, most of the dogs never throw a tantrum. They look straight ahead, deep inside knowing it’s all right, and it’s all going to be fine. Being instinctual creatures, they completely ignore the logical conclusions and make life easier for themselves.

However, as humans, we can’t completely ignore our logical thinking. But we can learn to balance and accept our instinctual parts more. I believe this would give many of us the peace of mind we need.

3. Trust is an emotion felt through connection and communication.

There are moments I’ve noticed some dogs fear their owners may never return; often times, they don’t and it is our responsibility to put them up for adoption. However, most times, you can notice in their eyes, the trust and bond that’s built throughout the years between both parties.

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When the owners leave, you always notice that the dog walks back in proud and waiting for his fellow friend’s return. These dogs often spend their time playing and eating with not a care in the world. Although there were no words exchanged between the dog and the owner, they experienced non-verbal communication that gave them the assurance they need to happily wait for their return.

After several failed relationships, I realized during this job that trust isn’t just a word — it’s a form of communication, bonding, and caring that can only be perceived, not spoken. Hence, these days, I tend to focus on communication rather than assurance; these barking beings taught me that it’s the only way trust can be achieved.

In a nutshell, these are my experiences as a dog sitter. While there were many other significant moments, I believe these are lessons that could help many. After all, we are all here to help and influence one another in one way or the other.

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Featured photo credit: Google Images via cdn.skim.gs

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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