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In Order To Achieve Lasting Success: 10 Tips To Become An Attractive Person

In Order To Achieve Lasting Success: 10 Tips To Become An Attractive Person

Fifty percent of this year is gone. Question, have you reached 50 percent or half of your goals?

If one of your goals is to be successful in any area of your life or career before 2016 comes to an end, the one thing you must to do is to become an attractive person.

Late motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “Success is something you attract by the person you become.” Rohn of course, isn’t referring to external attractiveness, rather the internal kind.

If you want success and all that it brings, you have to become a better, more attractive person. Period.

Rohn continues, “Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development.”

You become attractive by developing yourself into the person you need to be in order to attract, create, and sustain the level of success you want in your life.

How so?

In his book, The Morning Miracle, author Hal Elrod says that we all want “Level 10” success in every area of our lives, such as:

  • Health
  • Happiness
  • Finances
  • Relationships
  • Career

Yet our level of personal development is not currently at a “Level 10”. Personal development can be summed up as the following:

  • Knowledge
  • Experience
  • Mindset
  • Beliefs

So when Rohn says, “Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development,” he means that if your knowledge, experience, mindset and beliefs are not also at a “Level 10”, you will never experience “Level 10” happiness in any significant area of your life.

Life will always be a struggle, because, as he states, our outer world will always be a reflection of our inner world. Your level of success or lack thereof will always parallel your level of personal development.

Personal development starts by taking 100 percent responsibility for everything in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce or lack thereof, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health, your income, your debts, your feelings, your thoughts and emotions.

That isn’t always easy. Why?

Because most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life that we don’t like or aren’t working. For instance do you blame any of the following people/situations for the setbacks in your life or for not having achieved everything you could’ve?

  • Parents
  • Boss
  • Friends
  • Media
  • Coworkers
  • Clients
  • Spouse
  • Children
  • Weather
  • Economy
  • Lack of Money
  • Lack of Education
  • The President

The list is endless.

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“If you want your life to be different, you have to be willing to do something different first.” – Kevin Bracy

Are you willing?

If you are going to be successful in any area of your life, you first have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. I start with this as a groundwork because self-esteem is the single most significant key to your behavior. Motivational Speaker Zig Ziglar said, “It’s impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves.” You have to believe you can do it. You have to believe you have the knowledge, skills and abilities to create the results you desire. If you believe you are worthless, you will not be motivated to add value to yourself.

It all comes down to your attitude. Believing in yourself is an attitude. The great part about it is that you have a choice. When you were a kid, you couldn’t choose your parents or environment. But now that you are an adult, the choice of how you see and talk to yourself is yours. You must now choose to believe that anything you set your mind to, you can achieve. Ziglar also said, “It’s not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude.” If you will just believe it is possible, then you will do what it takes to bring about your desired result, but if you think it is impossible, you will not do what is necessary, you will continue to get zero results. Because in life, you hit what you aim for, if you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. So now, I hope I have you convinced that you have to believe in order to achieve.

Step 1: Examine Your Self-Talk

“You are the most influential person you will talk to all day.” – Zig Ziglar

If I was to record how you talk to yourself all day, would I be pleased at how thoughtful and loving you are to yourself? Or would I hear you berate and tear yourself down all day?

Whether you know it or not, you have a running conversation with yourself all day, every day. Do you encourage or criticize yourself? Are you positive or negative with yourself? How you talk to yourself really does make a difference because if you want to change your life, you have to change not only the way you think about yourself, but more importantly, how you talk to yourself.

If you have someone in your life that constantly encourages you, that’s terrific. But even if you do or don’t, you need to become your own cheerleader. You need to become your own encourager. Stop and think, have you ever complimented someone? I’m guessing yes. Now, have you ever complimented yourself on how you look, feel, on a job well-done? Don’t just recognize other people, recognize you. Start speaking positively and consolingly to yourself. When you make a mistake, don’t berate yourself, just tell yourself you will do better next time and you are gaining valuable experience.

Step 2: Banish Your Limiting Beliefs

“When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do.”
– Charles Schwab

The greatest prison is the prison we create for ourselves. When we tell ourselves that we can’t do something or we are not good enough or worthy, this distances us from our true value and worth as a human being. You are worthy simply because you exist.

In the book, Success Principles, Jack Canfield outlines four steps to transforming your limiting beliefs into empowering ones.

  • Identify a limiting belief
  • Write down how the belief limits you
  • Decide how you want to be, act, feel
  • Create a turnabout statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act or feel this way

Step 3: Develop A Positive Attitude

“Every man is where he is by the law of his being; the thoughts he has built into his character have brought him here.” –James Allen

According to Canadian psychologist Sydney Jourard, 85 percent of your success in work is determined by your attitude and personality.

In his book, As A Man Thinketh, James Allen says we do not attract what we want, but rather we attract who we are, for we are the sum total of our thoughts.

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A positive mental attitude affects your outlook on life which in turn affects your behavior. Our minds are extraordinarily powerful. Your thoughts control and determine almost everything that happens to you. Our thoughts can either make us happy or sad. That’s why developing a positive mental attitude is so important. Our thoughts trigger images, pictures and emotions that can either make us dwell on success and confidence or the exact opposite. For whatever we think and believe with conviction will become our reality.

It has been said that the world is a living expression of how you are using and have chosen to use your mind. So protect it at all costs. Never finish a negative sentence. Dwell only on good and good will follow.

Step 4: Add Value

One of the quickest ways to change your negativity into positivity is to add value or simply help someone else. Making a difference in the life of someone else invariably lifts your own self-esteem. It’s difficult to feel bad about yourself when you’re doing something nice for someone else. There is also a reciprocal effect.

When you add value to others, they value you more. So you get to have more love in your life. That’s the beauty in giving. When you give to others, you benefit. The famous scripture is true, “There is more happiness in giving.” I heard someone once say, “Whatever you want in life, give to others.” If you want more love in your life, then be more loving to others. If you want more support. Be more supportive to others. If you want more understanding, be more understandable with others. It’s really that simple. 

Step 5: Always Do The Right Thing

Since your self-worth is based upon positive habits, actions and decisions, you most definitely want to stay away from the feeling of guilt. You can do this when you make a commitment to always do what’s right, even if it’s difficult. When you feel guilty about something, it harms your self-image and self-esteem.

Conversely, when you do the things that are right, you continue to build character, the same way you play Jenga. You are building blocks that constantly elevate your self-image. You become a stronger and more positive person.

Step 6: Take 100-percent Responsibility For Your Life

If you want to be successful, you will have to lose the “blame-game” mentality. You know what I mean, right? If your relationships aren’t going the way you want, you can’t blame the other person, you have to take full responsibility. If your health isn’t good, you can’t blame anyone, you’ve decided what to eat, so you must take full responsibility. If you are in debt, you can’t blame the economy, you have to take 100-percent responsibility for the financial state you’re in.

I know this isn’t easy, but it’s a must if you want to be successful. Oh, by the way, this also goes for complaining. No more of that either because when you complain, you are blaming other people. You are the common denominator in your life, so that means you are the cause of all your life experiences.

If you add 2 plus 2 and get 5, is it the fault of mathematics? No, it’s YOU. If you are not getting the results you want in life, it’s not because of something outside yourself, it’s YOU. You are the problem, but fortunately, you are the solution as well. So no more lame excuses, ok? If something doesn’t go as planned, ask, “How did I create or contribute to this? What can I learn from this? How can I avoid this outcome in the future? The truth is that, you either create or allow everything that happens to you. You create it by your actions. You allow it by your inactions, or in other words, your unwillingness to change. When you fully understand this, you will come from a place of power and make the changes that need to be made.

Step 7: Decide Exactly What You Want

“The world has a habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going”. – Napoleon Hill

In order to attain professional achievement, you must decide what you really want from your life and career. Take a minute to identify what you love doing. What is your passion? Look deep inside yourself to determine what you really enjoy.

It’s simple. All of us have a gift. Determine whatever it is you enjoy doing that takes the least amount of effort. Now write it down.

Think back over your past jobs. What have been your most satisfying experiences and your most enjoyable moments?

Your aim is to replicate those feelings as you either embark on a new career or entrepreneurial endeavor . But you must first accept the responsibility of deciding what you want and then dedicating yourself to becom­ing the person you need to be in order to get where you want to go.

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One technique that many use with great success is visualization. Visualization is the act of seeing your­self where you want to be in ‘x’ number of years.

For instance, in three years, where do you want to be career wise? What is your ideal job, your ideal salary and your ideal working conditions? Imagine that ev­ery job in the world was open to you. What would you enjoy doing day after day? It has often been said that if you find a job that you love to do, you won’t really have to work a day in your life. Find your passion and this could be true for you too.

Step 8: Get Clear On Your Why

We often see celebrities that have reached the pinnacle of their industry receiving awards and accolades, but then we will see that same celebrity the next day sometimes getting arrested.

Why the discrepancy?

Their focus on succeeding in one area of life created a great imbalance with the other areas. You do not want to be like this. You want balance in every area of your life. Strive for congruency.

Becoming successful is great, but make sure you do not focus all your attention on this to the detriment of your health and relationships with others. Get clear on exactly why you want what you want. Jim Rohn said,” Beware of who you become in pursuit of what you want.” Without a purpose, you can easily become lost. Start by figuring out what your core values are.

All companies have clear, written values or mission statements that keep them on course. What is your personal mission statement? Just as companies thrive when they know where they are going, individuals do too. You can improve your personal and by extension your professional life by deciding what your core values are and not deviating from them.

When you are clear on your ‘why’, the ‘how’ becomes easier to see.

Step 9: Invite Pain Over For Dinner

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

Take out a piece a paper and pencil. Draw to dots, one on the far right and the other on the far left. Then draw a line to connect the two dots. The dot on the left represents where you are and the dot on the right represents where you want to be. That long line in the middle represents a gap.

How can you bridge this gap?

You can do so with new knowledge and updated skills. You will have to do something new and different to get to where you want to be. But it won’t be easy though because anything worthwhile never is.

Just look around you. Everything you see began as a thought in someone’s mind. The chair you’re sitting on. The book you’re reading. The car you drive. The clothes you’re wearing. Everything begins with a thought. Then that thought turned into action. Action is oftentimes accompanied with pain. Why? Because you have to do something different. You have to get out of your comfort zone. You have to have self-discipline.

Olympic Gold Medalist Michael Phelps trained for years to get to the pinnacle of his sport. Olympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas did too. It wasn’t easy, but they were dedicated and stuck to a rigorous training schedule every day.

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If you want similar results in your professional life, you have to be willing to put in the time. If you really want to be successful in life, you have to be willing to suffer a little pain in the process. But the great thing about pain is that it’s only temporary but the benefits can last a lifetime.

Step 10: Think Your Way To Success

“All that a man achieves or fails to achieve is the direct result of his thoughts.” – James Allen

In his book, Make Today Count, author John Maxwell list 11 ways of thinking, but the one I want to discuss with you is number seven on his list. It is reflective thinking.

Reflective thinking is the ability to revisit the past in order to gain a true perspective and think with understanding. Why is this so important?

Because reflection can help you achieve better results. I love to write, so I have written down the obstacles I faced and correspondingly, the lessons I’ve learned from those challenges. It was only by reflecting, that I was able to grow as a person. I saw where I needed to improve my character and I made the needed changes. As a result, I was able to land my dream job for the federal government in 2009. Had I not reflected, I might still be in the same job today.

Reflection allows difficult experiences to be our teachers. If we reflect on the lessons learned you will not only live a better life, but you will be able to implement changes in your life to ensure you do not have to repeat that same experience again. And once you have learned the lesson, you are in a better position to be able to spare someone else those hard life lessons by mentoring others with the wisdom you’ve gained.

What truly caused me to reflect on my life and the many lessons I learned was the death of my mother. She was a gem of a person and I learned how to be a beautiful caring woman because of her. Since losing her I find myself reflecting on the many things she taught me.

I sit and think of the lessons I learned. I try to help others by dispensing some of her wisdom to them. This reflection has not only helped me personally, but professionally as well.

What will reflective thinking do for you? Try it and let me know your results.

When you commit to doing all these things daily, you are becoming a more attractive person.

Yes, it is within your reach.

Let me know in the comments which one you will work on first.

Featured photo credit: Wikipedia via en.wikipedia.org

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meiko patton

Founder - Never Ever Give Up

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Last Updated on June 12, 2018

Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

A dysfunctional family is more than disagreement or constant arguments. Anything from plain neglect, to abuse and even verbal and physical violence is the everyday experience of those who are part of a dysfunctional family.

You know how this looks:

  • Parents constantly comparing children.
  • Siblings in conflict because of tolerated bullying.
  • Domestic violence.
  • Adultery…
  • And many others.

For all the members, this will mean emotional pain and even trauma; which, in case it doesn’t get resolved, will have a detrimental effect on the individual’s personality and development.

Needless to say, the younger members are the most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean the parents are out of danger, as most commonly the parents play the roles of abuser-codependent, and in some cases, both parts inflicting pain on one another.

Most like to think these problems stem from deep-seated issues, and that therefore it’s pretty much impossible to deal with them.

This is only true for families not willing to do what it takes, for if only a single member is determined and knows how to do it, the whole family can do a lot of progress.

In this article, I’ll break down for you the basic steps of fixing a dysfunctional family. Although it may seem hopeless, it is possible to turn things around.

If you have ever felt in this position, or if you know somebody who is, this article is for you.

How to fix a dysfunctional family

In a few words the solution for a dysfunctional family lies in dropping the ego, focusing on the solution, switching blame for responsibility and doing the work as a unity, for the good of the whole family.

And this will accomplish things you once only saw as a dream.

Dropping the ego? Switching blame for responsibility? Doing the work? What does all this mean?

It’s simple. In a nutshell, it’s that which will allow you to turn a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

Let’s take a look at how exactly this can be done. And near the end we will also talk about what you can do in a dysfunctional family with cynical traits.

Dysfunctional families where not only problems are well-known, but also nobody seems to want a fix or openly decide to perpetuate the harmful behaviors. Such as the case of abuse and physical violence.

There is also a solution for these, it’s just not what you are expecting…

Dysfunctional… Or just average?

Most families are dysfunctional, though at varying degrees of dysfunctionality.

The milder cases, are just marked by “typical” comically-shrouded bullying or lack of interest in other members’ development or wellbeing.

You can know a family is dysfunctional if their interactions are anything different than cooperation, solidarity, care and support. But let’s get more specific…

A dysfunctional family is one in which members directly or indirectly suffer emotional and/or physical harm inflicted by other members of their family. Most commonly, perpetrated by the parents.

Even harmful actions as “passive” as neglect, which is inflicted by inaction rather than action, signifies a dysfunction within the family.

Dysfunctional families have conflicts such as:

  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Lack of interest and time spent together
  • Sexism
  • Utilitarianism
  • Lack of empathy
  • Unequal or unfair treatment
  • Disrespect towards boundaries
  • Control Issues
  • Jealousy
  • Verbal and physical abuse
  • Violence and even sexual misconduct or abuse

You may think a dysfunctional family has very little or nothing to do with personal productivity, but you would be wrong in thinking this way…

If a person is not emotionally well, she will not be able to perform as desired, as the emotional harm that has been inflicted will hinder everyday performance in the way of inability to concentrate, lack of mental clarity and low levels of inspiration, motivation and discipline.

Having a functional family does exactly the opposite: It creates productive members with no emotional baggage.

How to turn it around

When you’re part of a dysfunctional family you know it. You can quickly identify in other members the behaviors and conflicts that create the dysfunction.

But just in case you’re having trouble telling functional from dysfunctional I will tell you the following:

One of the easiest ways you can recognize if you are in a dysfunctional family is to survey your won feelings.

We often overlook this, but have you stopped to ask yourself how you feel?

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As cheesy as it may sound it really sheds a lot of light on the subject.

What behaviors, actions and attitudes in your family you wish were better?

Do you think certain behaviors and actions from your family marked you in the past?

Sadly, we cannot go back to the past to correct it. But we can do a lot in the present…

Correction is possible

In order to fix a dysfunctional family, you must start by putting an end to the behaviors and actions that are affecting you.

Verbalize it.

All members of the dysfunctional family have one issue in common: They don’t put a stop to the harm.

Whenever you feel your boundaries being overstepped there is just one single word you have to remember: STOP.

This is the door to a better, more functional family, because after this, comes the fix.

But first you have to identify and make others know where exactly lies the problem.

So go ahead and fearlessly start with “Stop”, followed by your expression of dissatisfaction.

Putting it to work in real life

In real life it would be something like this:

“OK, stop! Every time you belittle me I feel you don’t care. I need attention and respect, and it is your responsibility as my family to provide them to me”

Or:

“Stop. When you compare me with my cousin it hurts, I feel like I don’t matter and that’s not ok. I ask you to stop doing it.

Or:

“Please stop. When you start yelling all respect is lost and it turns into a battle of who can do it louder. Don’t raise your voice and let’s work this out the way humans do”.

As you can see, here you start by putting a stop to the toxic behavior when it arises. And afterwards you verbalize why it’s wrong and what needs of you need to be fulfilled.

This is what you have to remember:

1-Stop.

2-Why it’s wrong?

3-What you need.

And this will also work well in case you need to do it for another family member.

It’s a family thing

A dysfunctional family cannot be fixed by one member alone.

Yes, a single member can initiate progress and be the leader of the change. But in order to completely become functional all members must contribute to the solution.

In other words, you will need cooperation…

So don’t be afraid of asking for it!

Approach your family member and ask to be listened.

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We sometimes feel our needs are “not that important” or we simply believe they won’t listen. But thinking like this would be like being defeated at an unfought battle.

You will be amazed by how much people listen when you voice your needs, especially if it implies showing yourself open, vulnerable and in need.

It’s not a free-for-all battle

In order to get your family to cooperate, first you must fix your individual relationships with every member of the family. Remember: Relationships are always between two people, and two people only.

No matter how complex, the quality of a multi-member relationship (like a family) will always depend on the quality of the individual relationships.

Once you have straightened the relationship with every member of the dysfunctional family you will be able to better communicate with other members and help in the betterment of their individual relationship.

And this is where we will talk about the fix itself. The one I mentioned in the introduction…

The method

1. Drop the ego

Wherever there is conflict there is ego.

You cannot fix a relationship where there is ego, because the ego will want to win. Always. Yours and the other person.

Ego craves control and satisfaction, and in many cases, to establish dominance.

What does this have to do with a dysfunctional family? Everything. Ego will interfere with every plan you have to fix it.

It will make people suborn and defensive. And it will also make them drop responsibility. This is why, the first step is to drop the ego.

After you make sure you are not going to allow your ego to interfere you must work to make the other person do the same. How? By speaking from the heart…

Tell the other person how important all this is to you.

Tell the other person that it’s not a matter of arguing, but just working things out together.

Point out how it is not possible for you to do it alone.

And ask for sincere attention without any desire of opposition, because what you are doing is by no means in the hopes of harming the other person, but just to better the relationship and stop the damage being dealt to you.

You will have to point out the mistakes you need corrected, that’s for sure. And that leads me to the next point…

2. Not blame, but responsibility

When talking about others’ mistakes we often use an accusatory tone. And that’s natural, it’s what things should be like if ego was not present.

But since we are all creatures of ego, this immediately brings the shields up. And then unsheathes the swords…

When we blame others they automatically enter a defensive state, and this only leads to a failed negotiation.

What you need to do is to shift from blame to responsibility. And even that will have to be done carefully!

Instead of telling them off or demanding change or complaining, calmly point what the problem with their behavior is.

As much as this feels contradictory, also make them feel understood. You know how difficult it is to accept a mistake, so just make them feel it’s no big fuzz… which does not mean it’s ok, but it takes tension off.

You will do something like this:

“Hello dad. Can I talk with you for a minute? I really need to tell you something.

I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I know this is something you do care about.

You see, whenever I talk about my accomplishments you mention something else that makes my achievement pale in comparison.

I know you don’t do this intentionally and I know you might have not realized this until now, but I want to let you know this really brings me down.

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It would mean a lot to me if you could stop doing it, and it would help better our relationship, because this has already forced me to distance myself from you. And I don’t want that, I want a good, healthy relationship with you”

What happened here?

We started off with making it something important, something that needs both time and attention. Then we openly show ourselves vulnerable, just as we are.

We also mention why he should listen, and shove our feelings there again, because they are important.

We describe the issue with no attachment and with no hostile intention. It’s just a description.

And then we take the blame off. Just before we assign responsibility without actually saying it.

You are not blaming him directly, but you are pointing out the inevitable fact that his actions are causing a dysfunctionality. He is now responsible for changing.

This is what “switching blame for responsibility” means. What comes next? Doing the work!

3. Doing the work

What would any of this mean if, in the end, nothing changes? Exactly, nothing!

This is why you must follow up with every change that needs to be done.

Do so in a manner that is not hostile. Bring it up in a casual manner, and emphasizing how you both reached an agreement and how that is important to the family.

If the person doesn’t follow up don’t hesitate to bring it up again, and tell them you feel disappointed that your honest try at it was not listened.

It may even be a subject in itself, and therefore the need for another conversation.

“When you go back to old habits it shows that you didn’t really care about what I said. But back in real life you just reinforce how much contempt you show towards me and my feelings.

I talk with you because I care. Because although it would be easier for me to just distance myself from you I rather do my part in nurturing this relationship.

But there is just so much I can do, if you refuse to do your part I can do nothing else.”

You need very clear and positive communication in order to make this work.

Love is all you need

You must remember that in order for a dysfunctional family to become functional, all the work needs to stem from love.

That is the single one requirement for all this to work: Love.

And what happens if it simply is not there?

What happens if, nobody is willing to do what it takes?

What happens if a member of the family refuses to change and is happy with the harm he or she is dealing?

There is only one thing you can do:

To break away.

Let’s be honest, people, especially adults, are very difficult to change.

There is a Jewish proverb that I love, which sums it up like this:

“We spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what we learned before we were 7”

If you find it very hard to change the very traits that make your family dysfunctional or if it’s simply impossible, you still have a card up your sleeve…

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Although nobody likes to beak away from family members, we must remember we have a responsibility with ourselves as individuals, before any relationship with anyone.

You have the responsibility of making yourself happy and free. Because you matter as an individual, regardless of any relationships you have, be it family, friendship or romantic.

Putting distance

So in case you are dealing with a family member who is simply unwilling to change take both physical and emotional distance.

What do I mean?

Learn, first, to take their damage in a detached manner.

Don’t let it hurt you further. Instead take a deep breath and distance yourself emotionally.

Don’t be attached to feelings such as “Why doesn’t she love me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or “If he wasn’t like that my life would be perfect”.

Simply refuse to keep participating in the emotional downward spiral and accept, even if it’s painful” that there is nothing you can do. Accept that even without that relationship you are whole, you are worthy of love and respect.

They are their responsibility and you are yours. So decide what is best for you.

Realize it only comes down to two possibilities:

I keep the relationship and therefore accept the abuse. Or…

I choose my peace of mind.

And don’t let your mind fool you. We often think that since we all are imperfect, we must take the good and the bad behaviors of people. And we are especially forgiving towards our family…

Well, guess what? We are also responsible adults who are aware and must own to their acts. Never excuse abuse or violence or transgression towards you or anybody else.

Choose your happiness and if possible, also distance yourself physically, as it will increase your peace of mind tenfold.

How to prevent it

There are two key concepts you must bear in mind in order to prevent the dysfunctionality of a family:

  • To be completely aware of one’s own mistakes and not allow them to impact others and…
  • To make sure our SO’s are also on the same channel before creating a family (i.e. having children)

Dysfunctional families are the product of irresponsible paternity, for the decades-long unresolved emotional conflict ends up surfacing in the family inevitably, and it will for sure harm those who least deserve it: Innocent children.

You may notice we went from talking about family, to talking about individual relationships, to talking about you. We went from “them” to “us” to “me”.

Why? Because in the end you have the power to fix a dysfunctional family. To correct the mistakes you have in yours and to prevent dysfunctionalities if you don’t have a family but plan to create one.

Priorities and clear thought

You may be part of a dysfunctional family, but that does not mean you are powerless or that you have to suffer the consequences.

You learned today how it’s all a matter of priorities and thinking clearly.

You learned that, if love exists, everything is possible. You learned that even when there is no love and no fix for your dysfunctional family, there are still things you can do. It’s a matter of choosing your peace, because you deserve it.

Everything will be better if you apply this knowledge. If you talk to that problematic family member. If you help them see the harm they are doing. If you make sure they do change and treat you the way you need to be treated…

If you choose yourself over that toxic family member. If you refuse to justify the harm that others can do to yourself. If you realize the most important relationship you have is with yourself.

And lastly, that you also have to be aware of your actions and be open to criticism. Because we might be unknowingly harming others. And that would be us creating a dysfunctionality. Don’t allow it to happen.

Dysfunctional families are not impossible to fix. It just takes love, cooperation and responsibility.

But if you tried and those elements are not present, just choose yourself instead.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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