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8 Precious Truths All Parents Should Pass To Their Children

8 Precious Truths All Parents Should Pass To Their Children

The influence we have over our children can have a far bigger impact than we think. That is why the way we speak, act and the wisdom we pass on to them will imprint onto their lives in far greater ways than we can imagine. We have so much power to enrich their lives with the positive things we’ve learnt from our own lives and to allow these timeless truths to transcend into their future.

Successful parenting isn’t all about helping your child to be the best academically or ridding them of all their adversities, it’s about playing a crucial role in the personal growth by means of gentle direction no matter where their life may take them. It’s providing them with wisdom that they can apply to all areas of their life and give them a positive basis for life decisions and outlooks.

1. Your Perception Of The World Is What You Make It

How we see the world is all made up of what we’ve been told and exposed to from a very early age. As we get older these beliefs shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us. It’s sad that if we’ve been brought up in a negative environment, then we are more likely to grow up with similar fears, negative feelings and emotions as that is how we’ve been taught to see the world.

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As a parent, it’s so important to not only bring up a child in a positive and loving environment, but to not teach them your own limiting beliefs and negative perceptions. Realise that the things you fear will be picked up by your children and passed on creating their own perceptions through yours. By recognising these you can readjust what you teach to your child and choose to allow their minds to be open and curious to let them gain their own conclusions of the world.

2. Pain Is An Essential Part Of Life

Our natural instinct is to shield and protect our children from pain but by doing this we don’t teach them that pain is inevitable in life. By protecting them we are denying them the chance to process and deal with painful situations from a young age when they are learning how to deal with different emotions.

If painful situations arise such as the death of a family member, a pet or an argument with a friend at school, it’s important to teach them that pain helps you to grow – we need to embrace the hard times in our life to deal with it in a way that allows us to learn and move on. Be a constant reassurance that everything happens for a reason and for a higher good.

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3. Find Your Own Path In Life

It’s easy to pass on our beliefs to others – it’s hard not to. However, be aware that what you think may not be what other’s think – when a child asks a question it’s important not to immediately answer with your own thoughts and ideas. Instead, make sure you keep the question open and ask the child what they think. You want your child to be their own person and form their own opinions and beliefs based on their knowledge of the world. Remember they are a unique person outside of you and what resonates with you may not resonate with them. Encourage them to question things and not take what they hear as the truth.

4. Live In The Present Moment

Life is full of many distractions and especially with today’s technology. That’s why it’s important to allow children to be aware of the present moment. Happiness can’t be found in the past or the future but in the here and now – the more we connect with the moment we’re living in now, the more we connect with our higher being and create appreciation and calmness. Mediation is a wonderful way to teach this but the act of being mindful of the things we do will help cultivate a more positive mind.

5. Everything Is Temporary

With that in mind, it’s important to know everything in this world is temporary. Holding on the past only sits inside of us and cultivates if we don’t let it go. Life is full of ups and downs – living with these and going with the flow will mean a much less bumpy journey through life. We are able to adapt more easily to change and resist living in the past.

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6. Take Responsibility For Your Own Happiness

The first few years of life can be like living in a bubble where you learn to connect with the things around you and understand your place in the world. This time is usually a period where a child is innocently very self-centred because there is so much attention put upon them. It’s only when they start school and realise they aren’t the only one getting attention. This is when blame towards others can be cultivated because they struggle to find their place, to be heard by others and feel things are other people’s fault.

Teaching a child that they, and only they, are responsible for their own happiness is so important – it will stop the victim-mentality they can easily pick up (and what many of us as adults have done) and stop them from pushing the responsibility of their happiness onto things outside of themselves.

7. Fear Is An Illusion

People may want to fight against this one because we are so hellbent on holding on to the fears we have cultivated over the years. But in truth, fears are not real. Fear is just an emotion that comes from a preformed idea or belief  – fear is just an illusion. Unfortunately, there are many dangers in the world but the fear we generate around them is not directly proportionate to the dangers themselves. Danger does not have to equal fear but this is what children pick up on. Fearful thoughts attract fearful situations so it’s important to learn about danger and be aware but not to fear it.

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8. Your Only Limitation Is Your Mind

We often say ‘the sky is the limit’ which implies that somewhere up there, a limit exists. Everyday we impose limitations on ourselves through false negative beliefs, ideas, and thoughts of self-worth. However, we are only limited by our thinking and what we think is true or false – learning to acknowledge that our limiting beliefs aren’t true is an important lesson to pass on to our children. Instilling this at a young age will allow a child to believe they can accomplish anything and reduce the amount of limited thinking in the first place.

The way in which we teach our children the ways of the world is paramount to creating a happy, well-rounded child. Successful parenting means giving children the best possible start in life by cultivating a positive mind and a real awareness of the world they live in. We are all growing and learning as we walk through life so, in turn, remember never to dismiss what our children can teach us in return!

Featured photo credit: Josh Willink via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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