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How To Teach Your Kids To Have The Right Money Mind In This Materialistic World

How To Teach Your Kids To Have The Right Money Mind In This Materialistic World

It’s no secret we live in a materialistic world.

We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us to buy more stuff, even if we have no need for it all.

It’s bad enough full-grown adults fall into the trap of spending more than they can afford. But it’s even worse when children grow up thinking it’s totally okay to do so.

As parents, we need to teach kids about money management, materialism, and how to find happiness without overspending.

If we do that, we can perhaps create a better future for our world as a whole.

There are a few ways we can do this:

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1. Teach kids about money management

Budgeting and money management gets more complicated as you grow older, but it all sits on the foundation of a single premise:

Don’t spend more than you make.

When we teach kids about money, we need to teach them about long-and short-term savings. They need to understand that if they spend money on candy today, they’ll be that much further away from being to afford a new toy or video game. In a world full of instant gratification, children need to truly grasp the concept of saving their money for another day.

Children also need to be taught about saving for emergencies. Although “emergency” in kid-terms would be a broken toy or ruined book that needs to be replaced, they still need to understand that, most of the time, money isn’t a commodity – it’s a necessity.

2. Teach kids the difference between wants and needs

As just mentioned, kids need to understand that money isn’t just what people use to buy whatever they want. Adults put most of their money toward ensuring they have a roof over their head, clothes on their bodies, and food on the table.

This isn’t to say parents should make their kids pay their share into the monthly electricity bill, but they do need to know that money should be spent on necessities first, superfluous items second. But first, they need to be taught the difference between wants and needs.

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Simply put: A “need” is something you can’t live without, while a “want” is something that – while it may be fun and exciting – isn’t necessary for survival. Kids who grow up understanding this will be less likely to make impulse purchases, and be less likely to overspend, in the future.

3. Teach kids about the psychology of advertising

Going along with the last point, parents should talk to their children about the commercials and advertisements they see on TV and the internet on a daily basis.

An advertisement’s job is to make potential customers think they absolutely need the product being advertised – even if it means sacrificing an actual “need” in their life. As mentioned before, some adults have a hard enough time battling this overwhelming desire to buy, buy, buy. But children actually lack the capacity to understand the psychology behind advertising, and are much more likely to be taken advantage of.

By teaching children to think critically about the messages advertisers send them, we can ensure they’ll learn to spend their money wisely and avoid being sold false promises.

4. Teach kids work ethic

At the risk of sounding cliche, kids need to know that money doesn’t grow on trees.

It sounds simple, but most kids really don’t understand how hard their parents work – because they never see it happen. They don’t see the paycheck their father brings home, and they don’t see the checks written to the utility companies. Since they don’t see all this, children often think money is an infinite resource.

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We adults know that money only comes from diligent effort and hard work. We need to instill this idea in our children as soon as they’re old enough to clean their room and make their bed on their own. Instead of just giving them an allowance, make them earn it. Explain how they can earn more by doing more to help out around the house – but also that not everything they do will result in them earning more.

It’s the way of the world, right? The earlier they learn, the better off they’ll be.

5. Say “No” Once in a While

Remember: You’re the adult, here.

No matter how well you teach your kids about money management, the difference between wants and needs, and withholding pleasure, they’re still going to try to get you to compromise as much as possible at times.

The problem is, once you start compromising, it becomes a slippery slope, and becomes harder to say “no” when you really can’t afford a new toy or gadget for them to play with.

When children are upset, they don’t listen to reason. If you say “no” and they start to pout, you won’t be able to teach them anything about money management until they’ve calmed down. For the time being, there’s no shame in falling back on the “Because I said so” card.

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It may lead to a short-lived tantrum, but they’ll eventually learn the lesson you’re aiming for – as long as you reinforce it and don’t budge on the decision you’ve made.

6. Practice What You Preach

Above all else, as a parent you need to act as a model for your children when it comes to money management and materialism.

If they see you going to the mall every weekend and returning with new clothes, new shoes, and other superfluous items, what do you think they’re going to do?

Of course, you work hard for your money and deserve nice things. But don’t confuse “nice things” with “things you want right now and will never use again.” Before you buy something, put some thought into how you’re going to use it so that it doesn’t end up collecting dust.

Teach your children that they should only spend money if they’re going to use whatever they buy wisely. As long as they have a practical use for everything they spend their money on, they’ll avoid overspending and falling into the trap of materialism.

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Published on November 30, 2018

Signs of Postnatal Depression And What to Do When It Strikes

Signs of Postnatal Depression And What to Do When It Strikes

Postpartum depression (PPD) strikes about 15% of women around childbirth.[1] Moreover, this mood disorder is estimated to affect 1% to 26% of new fathers.[2] The causes of which are thought to be linked to hormonal changes, genetics, previous mental illness and the obvious change in circumstance.

The stigma of mental health – with or without support from family members and health professionals – often deters women from seeking help for their PPD. In this article, I will show you 10 ways to begin overcoming PPD.

Symptoms of Postnatal Depression

Postnatal depression is defined as depressive disorder, beginning anytime within pregnancy up to the first year of the child’s life. The symptoms of post natal depression are the same as those of depression. In order to receive a diagnosis from the doctor, 5 symptoms must be shown over a two week period. The symptoms and criteria are:

  • Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, nearly every day, for most of the day or the observation of a depressed mood made by others
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities
  • Weight loss or decreased appetite
  • Changes in sleep patterns
  • Feelings of restlessness
  • Loss of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Loss of concentration or increased indecisiveness
  • Recurrent thoughts of death, with or without plans of suicide
  • Lack of interest or pleasure in usual activities
  • Low libido
  • Fatigue, decreased energy and motivation
  • Poor self-care
  • Social withdrawal
  • Insomnia or excessive sleep
  • Diminished ability to make decisions and think clearly
  • Lack of concentration and poor memory
  • Fear that you can not care for the baby or fear of the baby
  • Worry about harming self, baby, or partner

Should you, a friend or your partner be showing any of these signs, I recommend you to seek medical advice.

Causes of Post Natal Depression

It is worth noting here that there is a difference between what is commonly known as ‘The Baby Blues’ and post natal depression.

Postpartum blues, commonly known as “baby blues,” is a transient postpartum mood disorder characterized by milder depressive symptoms than postpartum depression. This type of depression can occur in up to 80% of all mothers following delivery. The Baby Blues should clear within 14 days, if not it is likely an indicator of something more in depth.

It is not known exactly what causes post natal depression, however there are some correlating factors. These factors have a close correlation and haven’t been shown to cause PPD:

  • Prenatal depression or anxiety
  • A personal or family history of depression
  • Moderate to severe premenstrual symptoms
  • Stressful life events experienced during pregnancy
  • Maternity blues
  • Birth-related psychological trauma
  • Birth-related physical trauma
  • Previous stillbirth or miscarriage
  • Formula-feeding rather than breast-feeding
  • Cigarette smoking
  • Low self-esteem
  • Childcare or life stress
  • Low social support
  • Poor marital relationship or single marital status
  • Low socioeconomic status
  • Infant temperament problems/colic
  • Unplanned/unwanted pregnancy
  • Elevated prolactin levels
  • Oxytocin depletion

One of the strongest predictors of paternal PPD is having a partner who has PPD, with fathers developing PPD 50% of the time when their female partner has PPD. [3]

Ways to Overcome Post Natal Depression

1. Seek Medical Help

As knowledge of PPD grows, more and more physicians are becoming aware of the indicators and risk factors. This means that health care providers are looking for signs as early as their first prenatal care visit.

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If you are at risk, letting your provider know early in your pregnancy means that you’ll be given extra support and care throughout the process. It is best to seek treatment as soon as possible.

If it’s detected late or not at all, the condition may worsen. Experts have also found that children can be affected by a parent’s untreated PPD. Such children may be more prone to sleep disturbances, impaired cognitive development, insecurity, and frequent temper tantrums.

2. Therapy

This is the first line of defence against post natal depression and will commonly be prescribed alongside medication. Around 90% of post natal depression cases in women are treated with a combination of the two treatments.

You don’t need to do anything special to prepare. Your counselor will ask questions about your life, and it’s important you answer honestly. You won’t be judged for what you tell, and whatever you talk about will be just between the two of you. Your counselor will teach you how to look at some things differently, and how to change certain habits to help yourself feel better.

Therapy is personalized for everyone, but women in counselling for postpartum depression often discuss topics including; who you’re feeling, your behaviour, your actions and your life. (If you need immediate support please call the San Diego Access and Crisis Line at (888) 724-7240. The toll-free call is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)

3. Medication

There have been a few studies of medications for treating PPD, however, the sample sizes were small, thus evidence is generally weak.

Some evidence suggests that mothers with PPD will respond similarly to people with major depressive disorder. There is evidence which suggests that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective treatment for PPD.

However, a recent study has found that adding sertraline, an SSRI, to psychotherapy does not appear to confer any additional benefit. Therefore, it is not completely clear which antidepressants are most effective for treatment of PPD.

There are currently no antidepressants that are FDA approved for use during lactation. Most antidepressants are excreted in breast milk. However, there are limited studies showing the effects and safety of these antidepressants on breastfed babies.

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4. Communication with Partner

Don’t blame yourself, your partner, close friends or relatives. Life is tough at this time, and tiredness and irritability can lead to quarrels.

‘Having a go’ at your partner can weaken your relationship when it needs to be at its strongest. It can be a huge relief to talk to someone understanding.

By spending time with your partner doing activities that you both enjoy, like going for a walk, can really help. This change of state, from moving location, can significantly elevate mood whilst providing ‘neutral ground’ in which to open up communication.

Be honest with your partner and show ways in which they can support you best through this time, even if it’s just talking or letting you have time to go take a shower.

5. Self Care and Rest

Don’t try to be ‘superwoman’. Try to do less and make sure that you don’t get over-tired. It’s common that women are the experts at ‘being busy’ and ‘doing it all’.

Rest whilst the baby is sleeping, and really take time to prioritise yourself. Throughout life, if you’re constantly giving out energy, you will be left feeling unbalanced. It’s important to become aware of one’s energy and making sure to give yourself energy first, before giving out is imperative.

Your body has just been through the trauma of the birth, which is very stressful. It therefore needs time to recover so taking time to yourself is important. Things as simple as a cup of tea, or shower or listening to music will really help.

6. Supplementation (especially DHA)

St John’s Wort is a herbal remedy available from chemists. There is evidence that it is effective in mild to moderate depression. It seems to work in much the same way as some antidepressants, but some people find that it has fewer side-effects.

One problem is that St John’s Wort can interfere with the way other medications work. If you are taking other medication, you should discuss it with your doctor. This is very important if you are taking the oral contraceptive pill. St John’s Wort might stop your pill working. This can lead to an unplanned pregnancy.

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It is also worth noting that fish oil (containing DHA) is being shown to correlate with lower instances of PPD. DHA consumption during pregnancy — at levels that are reasonably attained from foods — has the potential to decrease symptoms of postpartum depression,” conclude study researchers led by Michelle Price Judge, PhD, RD, a faculty member at the University of Connecticut School of Nursing.

7. Movement

Before starting any exercise program, you should consult with your doctor and find a fully qualified pre and post natal specialist. That being said, there is plenty of movement that can be done prior to ‘hitting the gym’, such as walking.

Not only does being outside positively benefit you by getting some fresh air and vitamin D. The same is said for your baby, who will likely sleep better once they’ve been outside. Exercise gets your endorphins going, which helps alleviate depression symptoms, It can also get you focused on something for yourself. In an analysis of data from 1996 to 2016, researchers discovered that moms who stayed physically active after birth experienced fewer depressive symptoms.[4] In contrast, one study found women who led a more sedentary lifestyle were, in general, more likely to experience postpartum depression in the first place. [5]

The type of workout doesn’t matter much. Yoga for pregnant women, stretching, and cardio are essentially equal in terms of making you feel better.

8. Socializing and Support Groups

Do go to local groups for new mothers or postnatal support groups. Your health visitor can tell you about groups in your area. You may not feel like going to these groups if your are depressed.

See if someone can go with you. You may find the support of other new mothers helpful. You may find some women who feel the same way as you do.

9. Accept Help

Some cultures believe that the symptoms of postpartum depression or similar illnesses can be avoided through protective rituals in the period after birth. Chinese women participate in a ritual that is known as “doing the month” (confinement) in which they spend the first 30 days after giving birth resting in bed, while the mother or mother-in-law takes care of domestic duties and childcare.

Whilst this may seem extreme, it’s worth noting that being able to accept help from your friends, partner and family can be extremely beneficial.

10. Avoid Smoking, Drink and Drugs

Which may seem common sense, however you may be tempted by the short term ‘fix’.

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Don’t use alcohol or drugs. They may make you feel better for a short time, but it doesn’t last. Alcohol and drugs can make depression worse. They are also bad for your physical health.

Final Thoughts

Most women will get better without any treatment within 3 to 6 months. One in four mothers with PND are still depressed when their child is one-year-old. However, this can mean a lot of suffering.

PND can spoil the experience of new motherhood. It can strain your relationship with your baby and partner. You may not look after your baby, or yourself, as well as you would when you are well.

PND can affect your child’s development and behaviour even after the depression has ended. So the shorter it lasts, the better.

Sometimes there is an obvious reason for PND, but not always. You may feel distressed, or guilty for feeling like this, as you expected to be happy about having a baby. However, PND can happen to anyone and it is not your fault.

It’s never too late to seek help. Even if you have been depressed for a while, you can get better. The help you need depends on how severe your illness is. Mild PND can be helped by increased support from family and friends.

Featured photo credit: Derek Thomson via unsplash.com

Reference

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