Being overly nice can be a great thing and a terrible thing.
Although most people admire nice people for their forgiving and loving attitudes, other people will try to take advantage of their kind heartedness.
And it isn’t just other people; nice people can also make their own lives difficult. They always give people the benefit of the doubt, even when they don’t deserve it, and they often put the happiness of others before their own happiness.
Here are 5 struggles that overly nice people will understand well.
1. Overly Nice People Forgive People Who Don’t Deserve It
One of the worst parts of being overly nice is giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they don’t deserve it. Overly nice people struggle to hold grudges, so they often forgive someone who then immediately upsets them again. This leaves most nice people feeling hurt and betrayed, and it can make it difficult to trust others.
If you have someone in your life who has betrayed your forgiveness, consider cutting them out of your life. It may be difficult, but then your niceness can be spent on more deserving people.
2. People Walk All Over Nice People
Lots of selfish people are happy to take advantage of nice people, from co-workers to friends to family members. Nice people are happy to do favors for others, such as lending them money or giving them a lift to work. However, these favors are rarely returned, which hurts the nice person as they realize that they are being taken advantage of.
If you are overly nice and you can relate to this, practice sticking up for yourself in a peaceful manner when you are alone. Simply offer an explanation, such as “Sorry I can’t give you a lift today, I’m really busy. You could get the bus?”
3. Nice People Struggle To Say ‘No’ To Others
Nice people are people pleasers, so they always say ‘yes’ to everything – even when they don’t want to. They dislike saying ‘no’ to others as it can feel mean, and they want to be a dependable person.
If you can relate to this, remember that you can’t please everyone, and that trying to do so is futile. However, you can make yourself happy – and does it make you happy to do favors for others when it means cancelling your own plans?
4. Nice People Feel Guilty When They Put Themselves First
Overly nice people often feel guilty for putting themselves first. They feel bad if they don’t reply to texts and Facebook messages straight away, and they never cancel on plans – even if they really, really want to.
If you feel guilty when you say no to others, offer a compromise with your ‘no’. Instead of saying ‘No’, say ‘Sorry, I can’t reply properly now – I’m at work! I can ring you later today for a proper chat?” This will take away any feelings of guilt, as you are still giving people the chance to speak to you and see you – just on your own terms, instead of theirs.
5. People Don’t Take Nice People Seriously Enough
Nice people are optimistic and friendly, and they go out of their way to lighten difficult situations with other people. However, this means that other people don’t take you seriously, as they think that you are naïve and unaware of the world around you.
This is very belittling to nice people, as they aren’t oblivious of the negativity around them – they just choose not to focus on it. If you feel like someone isn’t taking you seriously, sit them down for a chat or cut them out of your life. You don’t need to accept that negativity in your life!