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5 Struggles Overly-Nice People Would Understand So Well

5 Struggles Overly-Nice People Would Understand So Well

Being overly nice can be a great thing and a terrible thing.

Although most people admire nice people for their forgiving and loving attitudes, other people will try to take advantage of their kind heartedness.

And it isn’t just other people; nice people can also make their own lives difficult. They always give people the benefit of the doubt, even when they don’t deserve it, and they often put the happiness of others before their own happiness.

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Here are 5 struggles that overly nice people will understand well.

1. Overly Nice People Forgive People Who Don’t Deserve It

One of the worst parts of being overly nice is giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they don’t deserve it. Overly nice people struggle to hold grudges, so they often forgive someone who then immediately upsets them again. This leaves most nice people feeling hurt and betrayed, and it can make it difficult to trust others.

If you have someone in your life who has betrayed your forgiveness, consider cutting them out of your life. It may be difficult, but then your niceness can be spent on more deserving people.

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2. People Walk All Over Nice People

Lots of selfish people are happy to take advantage of nice people, from co-workers to friends to family members. Nice people are happy to do favors for others, such as lending them money or giving them a lift to work. However, these favors are rarely returned, which hurts the nice person as they realize that they are being taken advantage of.

If you are overly nice and you can relate to this, practice sticking up for yourself in a peaceful manner when you are alone. Simply offer an explanation, such as “Sorry I can’t give you a lift today, I’m really busy. You could get the bus?”

3. Nice People Struggle To Say ‘No’ To Others

Nice people are people pleasers, so they always say ‘yes’ to everything – even when they don’t want to. They dislike saying ‘no’ to others as it can feel mean, and they want to be a dependable person.

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If you can relate to this, remember that you can’t please everyone, and that trying to do so is futile. However, you can make yourself happy – and does it make you happy to do favors for others when it means cancelling your own plans?

4. Nice People Feel Guilty When They Put Themselves First

Overly nice people often feel guilty for putting themselves first. They feel bad if they don’t reply to texts and Facebook messages straight away, and they never cancel on plans – even if they really, really want to.

If you feel guilty when you say no to others, offer a compromise with your ‘no’. Instead of saying ‘No’, say ‘Sorry, I can’t reply properly now – I’m at work! I can ring you later today for a proper chat?” This will take away any feelings of guilt, as you are still giving people the chance to speak to you and see you – just on your own terms, instead of theirs.

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5. People Don’t Take Nice People Seriously Enough

Nice people are optimistic and friendly, and they go out of their way to lighten difficult situations with other people. However, this means that other people don’t take you seriously, as they think that you are naïve and unaware of the world around you.

This is very belittling to nice people, as they aren’t oblivious of the negativity around them – they just choose not to focus on it. If you feel like someone isn’t taking you seriously, sit them down for a chat or cut them out of your life. You don’t need to accept that negativity in your life!

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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