“Just be confident.”
This is probably the most clichéd and most confusing piece of dating advice that men the world over are bombarded with from the time they’re old enough to start crushing on the cute girl from math class. Sure, it’s easy to just tell a guy to “be confident,” but it’s a whole different ball game to actually be able to define confidence and show someone exactly how to go about becoming confident.
This is why I prefer to phrase this piece of advice slightly differently. I don’t tell guys to be confident. Instead I tell them to earn their confidence. This is why every time I hear someone saying that they wish they could be more confident, I feel like slapping them.
You see, confidence isn’t something that’s magically going to wash over you by just closing your eyes and wishing for it. It’s something that you work a little bit towards each and every day, until it becomes a natural part of your mindset.
On that note, here are seven daily exercises that any guy can work on to boost their confidence with women.
1. Groom yourself.
Let’s start with the basics, shall we? Personal grooming; it’s just one of those things that women pay a world of attention to and most men are tragically ambivalent towards. You see, the way that you treat your own body is really a reflection of your own self-esteem. Every time you step outside the door with your hair disheveled, your fingernails overgrown, and your stubble a few days old, you’re effectively telling everyone who crosses your path that you don’t really think much of yourself at all. And trust me: women pick up on this instantly.
Now I’m not asking you to drop hundreds of dollars on fancy haircuts and pedicures. All it takes is just 20 minutes of your time each morning to trim, shave and clip as necessary. So make that exercise number one in your daily confidence-building regime.
2. Dress for success.
Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you really thought about the message that your personal wardrobe was sending out to the world around you? Like your personal grooming, the way that you dress sends out a powerful message about what exactly you think of yourself. And this is a message that women pick up on immediately.
And here’s the thing: you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on putting out a great look. Just take the time to read a few men’s fashion magazines, figure out your own unique personal style, build a wardrobe around it, and spend a little time each day to make sure that your daily outfit does your personal style justice. You’ll immediately notice a difference in the way that both women and men treat you, and this in turn will start boosting your confidence almost instantly.
3. Get some physical exercise.
One of the most effective ways to build self-confidence is to become confident in your own skin. Now some people might tell you that your physical appearance is irrelevant when it comes to attracting others; and in some ways it is, but the confidence that you can gain by getting into great shape is far from irrelevant. What’s more, regular exercise can also help you feel more relaxed and release brain chemicals that are essential for your mental well-being.
So if your current physical shape leaves something to be desired, make it a point to engage in at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. Remember, you don’t have to go join CrossFit or hire an expensive personal trainer or anything; a simple 30 minute jog after work each day can do your body and confidence levels wonders.
4. Pay attention to your body language and work on your non-verbal communication.
One of the most incredible things about the human mind is how our physiology can almost instantly affect our psychology. For example, think back on a time that you were feeling supremely confident about yourself. Maybe you’d just run a marathon or maybe you’d just talked an insanely gorgeous woman into bed.
Remember what your physiology was like. You would have had your head held up high, with your shoulders back and your chest puffed out. Now try and emulate this physiology the next time you’re feeling low in confidence. It might feel like voodoo, but you’ll feel at least a slight change in your mindset.
It’s a great idea to spend a little time each day to work on your body language and physiology. You can start with things as simple as standing up straight with your chest out when you walk to work, and eventually move onto the finer points like holding strong eye contact when talking to a co-worker or speaking slowly, with confidence when addressing someone.
5. Practice your conversation skills.
There are only a few things more damaging to a man’s confidence levels than feeling socially inadequate. And this loss of confidence can go through a bit of an avalanche effect where each failed social interaction leads to a drop in confidence, which in turn leads to more failed social interactions.
So how do you go about fixing this and building social confidence? It can be by doing something as simple as practicing talking to one stranger every day. It doesn’t even have to be an attractive woman, and it doesn’t even matter what you talk about. Just make it a point to work on being able to start and carry a conversation with an absolute stranger for at least a couple of minutes each day. The social confidence that this will build in you will spill over onto your confidence around women.
6. Do something outside your comfort zone.
Staying inside your comfort zone is a highly effective way to smother, suffocate, and eventually wipe out your self-confidence. Every time you shy away from a situation or a task that’s unfamiliar, you’re effectively telling your subconscious mind that you don’t believe in yourself enough to take up the challenge.
So from now on, actively work on stepping out of your comfort zone at least once each day. You don’t even have to do anything drastic or dangerous to practice this. You don’t have to start by asking out the most attractive girl you know. Something as simple as confronting a colleague about an issue that you’ve been skirting or taking a quick improv class can work wonders.
7. Practice positive affirmations.
Now here’s the thing: you can work on your physical image, your career success and your social skills all you want, but if your internal dialog and thought processes are negative, you will never go about building lasting confidence with women or in life.
A simple exercise that you can practice each day is to write down one positive affirmation about yourself and read it to yourself every morning before you start your day. The key here is to truly believe in your affirmation with every fiber of your being until you wake up each day with it firmly rooted in your mind. Once you get the hang of it, you can start adding more and more affirmations to improve your life and build confidence with.
Like I said before, the only person who will ever be able to build lasting confidence in yourself is you. So I hope that you don’t just stop at reading this article, and that you actively practice these daily exercises each day until you achieve the level of confidence that you desire.