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7 Daily Exercises That Boost Your Confidence Around Women

7 Daily Exercises That Boost Your Confidence Around Women

“Just be confident.”

This is probably the most clichéd and most confusing piece of dating advice that men the world over are bombarded with from the time they’re old enough to start crushing on the cute girl from math class. Sure, it’s easy to just tell a guy to “be confident,” but it’s a whole different ball game to actually be able to define confidence and show someone exactly how to go about becoming confident.

This is why I prefer to phrase this piece of advice slightly differently. I don’t tell guys to be confident. Instead I tell them to earn their confidence. This is why every time I hear someone saying that they wish they could be more confident, I feel like slapping them.

You see, confidence isn’t something that’s magically going to wash over you by just closing your eyes and wishing for it. It’s something that you work a little bit towards each and every day, until it becomes a natural part of your mindset.

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On that note, here are seven daily exercises that any guy can work on to boost their confidence with women.

1. Groom yourself.

Let’s start with the basics, shall we? Personal grooming; it’s just one of those things that women pay a world of attention to and most men are tragically ambivalent towards. You see, the way that you treat your own body is really a reflection of your own self-esteem. Every time you step outside the door with your hair disheveled, your fingernails overgrown, and your stubble a few days old, you’re effectively telling everyone who crosses your path that you don’t really think much of yourself at all. And trust me: women pick up on this instantly.

Now I’m not asking you to drop hundreds of dollars on fancy haircuts and pedicures. All it takes is just 20 minutes of your time each morning to trim, shave and clip as necessary. So make that exercise number one in your daily confidence-building regime.

2. Dress for success.

Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you really thought about the message that your personal wardrobe was sending out to the world around you? Like your personal grooming, the way that you dress sends out a powerful message about what exactly you think of yourself. And this is a message that women pick up on immediately.

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And here’s the thing: you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on putting out a great look. Just take the time to read a few men’s fashion magazines, figure out your own unique personal style, build a wardrobe around it, and spend a little time each day to make sure that your daily outfit does your personal style justice. You’ll immediately notice a difference in the way that both women and men treat you, and this in turn will start boosting your confidence almost instantly.

3. Get some physical exercise.

One of the most effective ways to build self-confidence is to become confident in your own skin. Now some people might tell you that your physical appearance is irrelevant when it comes to attracting others; and in some ways it is, but the confidence that you can gain by getting into great shape is far from irrelevant. What’s more, regular exercise can also help you feel more relaxed and release brain chemicals that are essential for your mental well-being.

So if your current physical shape leaves something to be desired, make it a point to engage in at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. Remember, you don’t have to go join CrossFit or hire an expensive personal trainer or anything; a simple 30 minute jog after work each day can do your body and confidence levels wonders.

4. Pay attention to your body language and work on your non-verbal communication.

One of the most incredible things about the human mind is how our physiology can almost instantly affect our psychology. For example, think back on a time that you were feeling supremely confident about yourself. Maybe you’d just run a marathon or maybe you’d just talked an insanely gorgeous woman into bed.

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Remember what your physiology was like. You would have had your head held up high, with your shoulders back and your chest puffed out. Now try and emulate this physiology the next time you’re feeling low in confidence. It might feel like voodoo, but you’ll feel at least a slight change in your mindset.

It’s a great idea to spend a little time each day to work on your body language and physiology. You can start with things as simple as standing up straight with your chest out when you walk to work, and eventually move onto the finer points like holding strong eye contact when talking to a co-worker or speaking slowly, with confidence when addressing someone.

5. Practice your conversation skills.

There are only a few things more damaging to a man’s confidence levels than feeling socially inadequate. And this loss of confidence can go through a bit of an avalanche effect where each failed social interaction leads to a drop in confidence, which in turn leads to more failed social interactions.

So how do you go about fixing this and building social confidence? It can be by doing something as simple as practicing talking to one stranger every day. It doesn’t even have to be an attractive woman, and it doesn’t even matter what you talk about. Just make it a point to work on being able to start and carry a conversation with an absolute stranger for at least a couple of minutes each day. The social confidence that this will build in you will spill over onto your confidence around women.

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6. Do something outside your comfort zone.

Staying inside your comfort zone is a highly effective way to smother, suffocate, and eventually wipe out your self-confidence. Every time you shy away from a situation or a task that’s unfamiliar, you’re effectively telling your subconscious mind that you don’t believe in yourself enough to take up the challenge.

So from now on, actively work on stepping out of your comfort zone at least once each day. You don’t even have to do anything drastic or dangerous to practice this. You don’t have to start by asking out the most attractive girl you know. Something as simple as confronting a colleague about an issue that you’ve been skirting or taking a quick improv class can work wonders.

7. Practice positive affirmations.

Now here’s the thing: you can work on your physical image, your career success and your social skills all you want, but if your internal dialog and thought processes are negative, you will never go about building lasting confidence with women or in life.

A simple exercise that you can practice each day is to write down one positive affirmation about yourself and read it to yourself every morning before you start your day. The key here is to truly believe in your affirmation with every fiber of your being until you wake up each day with it firmly rooted in your mind. Once you get the hang of it, you can start adding more and more affirmations to improve your life and build confidence with.

Like I said before, the only person who will ever be able to build lasting confidence in yourself is you. So I hope that you don’t just stop at reading this article, and that you actively practice these daily exercises each day until you achieve the level of confidence that you desire.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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