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8 Things That Can Hugely Undermine Your Attractiveness, According To Science

8 Things That Can Hugely Undermine Your Attractiveness, According To Science

We all do things that we think are going to increase our attractiveness and make us feel good. We go to the gym to make positive changes to our body, we dress in a way that we want to be perceived. But, have you ever wondered, “is there anything I’m doing that is making me unattractive?” According to our friends in the lovely world of science, the answer is most certainly yes.

In this article, we’ll be going over a few things that actually decrease your attractiveness, how to stop before you completely sabotage your sex appeal and how to be attractive.

1. Not Enough Sleep

Who would’ve thought, right? Not enough sleep actually decreases our attractiveness. Back in 2010 researchers took photos of people who had not slept for 31 hours and those who had gotten at least 8 hours of sleep the night prior to the photos. The participants in the study then rated those in the photos on different criteria. In their conclusion, they discovered that those who had been sleep deprived actually looked less attractive, more sad, and less healthy.

Although it may be hard to do because of well, life, try to make sure you’re getting your full eight hours of sleep every night to ensure you wake up refreshed every day.

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2. Not Being Nice

We’ve all heard the saying, “nice guys finish last”. But is that actually true? According to science, maybe not. A 2014 Chinese study took photos of people with a neutral expression on their faces. Below the photos they would put a certain word such as decent, honest, mean or evil. In addition, other photos were not given any information at all. The study found that those with the words mean and evil under the photos were found to be less attractive by the participants rating the photos.

To avoid this, it really is quite simple, just be nice. No one likes being around a person who is constantly miserable and mean to everyone. But we all are allowed to have our days where we just aren’t happy. Try doing things to boost your mood by being active or doing other activities that you find enjoyable.

3. Being overstressed

Chill out ladies, you may appear much more attractive. A 2013 study had shown that high levels of a stress hormone called Cortisol in women were found to be less attractive by men. Although there is no concrete proof to back it up, the researchers believe that high levels of Cortisol are indications of health and fertility.

I know, as a woman especially, we just can’t help but stress about…everything. I think we are truly wired to think, overthink and stress about every possible little thing. Have a glass of red wine, go to the gym, practice yoga, meditate. Do it for the sake of your sex appeal, and your own well-being.

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4. Where’s Your Sense Of Humor?

We hear it all the time when talking to our buddies about what we like and dislike when it comes to talking about what we are and are not attracted to. Everyone wants someone funny. I mean, if someone can’t make you laugh, what’s the point anyway? It should come as no surprise then that back in 2009 a study found that having no sense of humor, or even an average one was found to be less attractive in comparison to those with a great sense of humor. Gender absolutely doesn’t play a role here so practice up on your jokes boys and girls.

You have to remember, trying too hard is a real thing though. Remember to just be yourself, you may actually be surprised as to how funny you are when you can just relax and be true to you.

5. Being Lazy

Nothing about being lazy is something either sex finds attractive. Whether it be aspirations, physical activity, what have you, it’s important to get up and get moving. Laziness and motivation go hand in hand. What you do, and what you don’t do says a lot about the type of person you are. If you choose to be lazy with yourself and your goals, one may believe that you will be lazy when it comes to a relationship. Life is beautiful and exciting, but you can’t experience it from a couch.

At times, we can find ourselves in a slump where we just don’t want to do anything at all. We do just what we have to do to get by and that’s about it. It’s important though, to not remain in that stagnant state. Make a list of the things you want to get done each day a post it up somewhere where you’ll see it and cross off each thing as you complete it. There’s nothing more satisfying than completing tasks and other things that need to get done. Plan your day backwards. Act as though your day ends at 5:30 and you plan your day to get done what needs to be done in that time frame.

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6. Dishonesty

This is a given. If you can’t tell the truth you’re definitely not on the right road when learning how to be attractive. A dishonest person is always viewed as a person who is unreliable. When a person is dishonest, they almost always have other negative qualities that can and surely will turn a person off.

Just be honest. It’s been said that honesty is the best policy and there are fewer things truer than that.

7. Body Language

Body language can exhibit quite a few unattractive traits such as weakness, nervousness, insecurity, discomfort and more. The way you sit and stand may come off more unattractive than you realize. By standing with your arms folded you can give off an impression that you are closed off and uncomfortable. This alone can make you seem unapproachable.

Research was conducted in 2016 where it was discovered that contractive body language can make you appear less attractive. Researchers used a dating app to evaluate different contractive positions. In one set of profiles, participants had their arms crossed or hunched their shoulders. In the other set of profiles, the same group of men and women had pictures taken in expansive positions, such as holding their arms in a upward position or reaching out to grab an object. The results concluded the those pictured in expansive positions were found to be more attractive.

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It’s important to pay attention to your body language. Make sure to stretch every day, avoid sitting down for too long, and strengthen your core muscles. All of these will help to improve your posture.

8. Being Too Proud or Happy

Being happy is a good quality to have, but according to science being too happy may actually decrease your attractiveness. Back in 2011 researchers conducted experiments on well over 1,000 men and women. They had shown them photographs of people of the opposite sex and went on to ask them how attractive the people in the pictures were.

Generally speaking, women who are happy tend to appear to be more attractive, whereas women do not prefer men who are “too happy”. In addition, pride is usually more attractive on men, however men do not prefer women who look too proud.

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Erica Wagner

Erica is a passionate writer who shares inspiring ideas and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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