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7 Reasons Your 30s Will Be More Awesome Than Your 20s

7 Reasons Your 30s Will Be More Awesome Than Your 20s

It has been said that 20 is the new 30. And while that sounds great to some people, I am grateful to have made it through my 20s — with my sanity in tact.

Don’t get me wrong, your 20s are great. You are young, tender, beautiful and filled with hope. You are open to and welcome new experiences–even bad ones. You feel invincible, carefree and grown up. And you get to do things your way.

And while your 20s are a blast, being “wide-eyed and bushy tailed” gets old–and a bit hazardous.

Your 30’s are here and it’s going to be awesome! Here’s why:

1.  You become truly beautiful

Women in their 20s are young and hot and even though youth is starting to gradually fade, women in their 30s began to fully embody true beauty.

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Once you hit 30 you have a firm grasp that beauty is more than just skin deep.

The eyes of a woman in her 30s are no longer wide and innocent. They now have a depth brought on by experience and the wisdom that only comes through age. Your dress is still sexy but it has moved from overly revealing to demur, classy and a bit more seductive.

There is a bit more mystery to women in their 30s than the 20 somethings–and intrigue is hot.

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https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-fashion-hands-rings-24155/

    2.  Women in their 30s have developed a strong sense of self

    When you hit 30 you know who you are–or at least have a better idea. By the time you reach 30, you have experienced enough to understand who you are as a person. You are in tune with what you can tolerate and what you will not. You’ve lost some of the urge to follow the “it” crowd and you do what suits you best. You are less afraid of being different and your need to “fit in” has definitely dissipated. The phrase “do you–Boo,” has become your guiding philosophy.

    3.  Women in their 30s are more focused and goal oriented

    When I hit 30, I was in full stride in my career and relationship. I had a better sense of what I wanted in all aspects of life and my decisions were tailored to reach my goals. I knew I wanted to live a life free from debt and financial worry and I wanted to retire while I was still young enough to look decent in a bathing suit. I structured my life, family and finances to meet these goals.

    In your 20s having clear focus and being goal oriented is a bit more difficult because you feel young and being a responsible adult still isn’t high on your list of priorities. When you hit 30, there is definitely a shift in your thinking. It’s like you can actually hear the clock ticking and you know it’s time to get things done.

    4.  Women in their 30s are better in relationships

    An amazing thing happened when I hit 30–I fully realized life is not all about me. I now better understand balance and that translates into healthier relationships. You become a better daughter, friend, spouse or girlfriend and mother.

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    By 30 you don’t have it all figured out but you do have a firm grasp on what you don’t want in a relationship. You are able to look past those sexy abs and full head of hair in search for an individual that is compatible with you in all aspects of life.

    https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-girl-nails-sexy-17725/

      5. Women in their 30s are more content and settled

      Everything is no longer the end of the world. You have learned to pick your battles, your friends and the drama you allow into your life. You are content to just “Netflix and chill,” in lieu of bar hopping and partying every weekend. You understand that routine is a normal part of your existence and have accepted that a lot of life is of getting up every morning, following your routine and the doing it all over again the next day. AND that thought no longer provokes a panic attack.

      6.  Women in their 30s have wisdom cultivated by experience

      By the time I reached 30, I had seen a lot and done a lot. I was married, had finished college, was working in the career field of my choice, and had spent time traveling abroad. I experienced multiple highs and lows through each of those journeys and by the time I hit 30, I was no longer making the same mistakes and my thought patterns and approach to life had changed.

      Experiences stick with you and each experience alters you just a bit. Thirty is the time you settle into who you are and become more aware of the world around you. You have learned some things–and though you don’t know everything–you know enough not to ever wish you were 21 again.

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      7.  Women in their 30s no longer live with wreck- less abandon but take calculated risk

      In your 30s you have more to lose and the memory of past pains help you to be a bit more selective in your risk taking. You’ve gone from careless risks to being cautious and calculating. You are smarter, wiser and understand that time is precious.

      The choice of whether or not to quit your job and run away with Raul to become a unicorn farmer is so much easier now that you are 30. You already know how that story ends.

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      Denise Hill

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      Last Updated on September 18, 2020

      13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

      “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

      Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

      You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

      Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

      1. Take a step back and evaluate

      When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

      1. What is the problem?
      2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
      3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
      4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
      5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

      Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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      2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

      If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

      At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

      Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

      3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

      Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

      4. Process your thoughts/emotions

      Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

      1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
      2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
      3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
      4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

      5. Acknowledge your thoughts

      Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

      By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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      Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

      6. Give yourself a break

      If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

      7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

      A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

      Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

      After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

      8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

      As Helen Keller once said,

      “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

      Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

      9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

      In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

      1. What’s the situation?
      2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
      3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
      4. Take action on your next steps!

      After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

      10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

      A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

      Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

      For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

      11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

      No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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      12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

      No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

      13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

      There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

      After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

      Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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