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7 Reasons Your 30s Will Be More Awesome Than Your 20s

7 Reasons Your 30s Will Be More Awesome Than Your 20s

It has been said that 20 is the new 30. And while that sounds great to some people, I am grateful to have made it through my 20s — with my sanity in tact.

Don’t get me wrong, your 20s are great. You are young, tender, beautiful and filled with hope. You are open to and welcome new experiences–even bad ones. You feel invincible, carefree and grown up. And you get to do things your way.

And while your 20s are a blast, being “wide-eyed and bushy tailed” gets old–and a bit hazardous.

Your 30’s are here and it’s going to be awesome! Here’s why:

1.  You become truly beautiful

Women in their 20s are young and hot and even though youth is starting to gradually fade, women in their 30s began to fully embody true beauty.

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Once you hit 30 you have a firm grasp that beauty is more than just skin deep.

The eyes of a woman in her 30s are no longer wide and innocent. They now have a depth brought on by experience and the wisdom that only comes through age. Your dress is still sexy but it has moved from overly revealing to demur, classy and a bit more seductive.

There is a bit more mystery to women in their 30s than the 20 somethings–and intrigue is hot.

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https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-fashion-hands-rings-24155/

    2.  Women in their 30s have developed a strong sense of self

    When you hit 30 you know who you are–or at least have a better idea. By the time you reach 30, you have experienced enough to understand who you are as a person. You are in tune with what you can tolerate and what you will not. You’ve lost some of the urge to follow the “it” crowd and you do what suits you best. You are less afraid of being different and your need to “fit in” has definitely dissipated. The phrase “do you–Boo,” has become your guiding philosophy.

    3.  Women in their 30s are more focused and goal oriented

    When I hit 30, I was in full stride in my career and relationship. I had a better sense of what I wanted in all aspects of life and my decisions were tailored to reach my goals. I knew I wanted to live a life free from debt and financial worry and I wanted to retire while I was still young enough to look decent in a bathing suit. I structured my life, family and finances to meet these goals.

    In your 20s having clear focus and being goal oriented is a bit more difficult because you feel young and being a responsible adult still isn’t high on your list of priorities. When you hit 30, there is definitely a shift in your thinking. It’s like you can actually hear the clock ticking and you know it’s time to get things done.

    4.  Women in their 30s are better in relationships

    An amazing thing happened when I hit 30–I fully realized life is not all about me. I now better understand balance and that translates into healthier relationships. You become a better daughter, friend, spouse or girlfriend and mother.

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    By 30 you don’t have it all figured out but you do have a firm grasp on what you don’t want in a relationship. You are able to look past those sexy abs and full head of hair in search for an individual that is compatible with you in all aspects of life.

    https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-girl-nails-sexy-17725/

      5. Women in their 30s are more content and settled

      Everything is no longer the end of the world. You have learned to pick your battles, your friends and the drama you allow into your life. You are content to just “Netflix and chill,” in lieu of bar hopping and partying every weekend. You understand that routine is a normal part of your existence and have accepted that a lot of life is of getting up every morning, following your routine and the doing it all over again the next day. AND that thought no longer provokes a panic attack.

      6.  Women in their 30s have wisdom cultivated by experience

      By the time I reached 30, I had seen a lot and done a lot. I was married, had finished college, was working in the career field of my choice, and had spent time traveling abroad. I experienced multiple highs and lows through each of those journeys and by the time I hit 30, I was no longer making the same mistakes and my thought patterns and approach to life had changed.

      Experiences stick with you and each experience alters you just a bit. Thirty is the time you settle into who you are and become more aware of the world around you. You have learned some things–and though you don’t know everything–you know enough not to ever wish you were 21 again.

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      7.  Women in their 30s no longer live with wreck- less abandon but take calculated risk

      In your 30s you have more to lose and the memory of past pains help you to be a bit more selective in your risk taking. You’ve gone from careless risks to being cautious and calculating. You are smarter, wiser and understand that time is precious.

      The choice of whether or not to quit your job and run away with Raul to become a unicorn farmer is so much easier now that you are 30. You already know how that story ends.

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      Denise Hill

      Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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      Last Updated on August 19, 2019

      How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

      How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

      We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

      When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

      In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

      Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

      If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

      According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

      No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

      When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

      Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

      1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

      When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

      Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

      When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

      Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

      In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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      It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

      You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

      Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

      What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

      You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

      That’s where we all should be.

      So, answer me this:

      How are you, really?

      And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

      Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

      Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

      Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

      Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

      It’s taking control.

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      2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

      You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

      You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

      In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

      Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

      You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

      Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

      But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

      It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

      In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

      It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

      Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

      Change will happen.

      Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

      You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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      And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

      You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

      That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

      You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

      When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

      There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

      3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

      Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

      In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

      If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

      Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

      Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

      How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

      Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

      “Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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      Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

      Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

      It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

      Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

      “If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

      What would you do if you felt you were enough?

      By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

      So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

      Final Thoughts

      By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

      Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

      When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

      You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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      Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

      Reference

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