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7 Reasons Your 30s Will Be More Awesome Than Your 20s

7 Reasons Your 30s Will Be More Awesome Than Your 20s

It has been said that 20 is the new 30. And while that sounds great to some people, I am grateful to have made it through my 20s — with my sanity in tact.

Don’t get me wrong, your 20s are great. You are young, tender, beautiful and filled with hope. You are open to and welcome new experiences–even bad ones. You feel invincible, carefree and grown up. And you get to do things your way.

And while your 20s are a blast, being “wide-eyed and bushy tailed” gets old–and a bit hazardous.

Your 30’s are here and it’s going to be awesome! Here’s why:

1.  You become truly beautiful

Women in their 20s are young and hot and even though youth is starting to gradually fade, women in their 30s began to fully embody true beauty.

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Once you hit 30 you have a firm grasp that beauty is more than just skin deep.

The eyes of a woman in her 30s are no longer wide and innocent. They now have a depth brought on by experience and the wisdom that only comes through age. Your dress is still sexy but it has moved from overly revealing to demur, classy and a bit more seductive.

There is a bit more mystery to women in their 30s than the 20 somethings–and intrigue is hot.

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https://www.pexels.com/photo/girl-fashion-hands-rings-24155/

    2.  Women in their 30s have developed a strong sense of self

    When you hit 30 you know who you are–or at least have a better idea. By the time you reach 30, you have experienced enough to understand who you are as a person. You are in tune with what you can tolerate and what you will not. You’ve lost some of the urge to follow the “it” crowd and you do what suits you best. You are less afraid of being different and your need to “fit in” has definitely dissipated. The phrase “do you–Boo,” has become your guiding philosophy.

    3.  Women in their 30s are more focused and goal oriented

    When I hit 30, I was in full stride in my career and relationship. I had a better sense of what I wanted in all aspects of life and my decisions were tailored to reach my goals. I knew I wanted to live a life free from debt and financial worry and I wanted to retire while I was still young enough to look decent in a bathing suit. I structured my life, family and finances to meet these goals.

    In your 20s having clear focus and being goal oriented is a bit more difficult because you feel young and being a responsible adult still isn’t high on your list of priorities. When you hit 30, there is definitely a shift in your thinking. It’s like you can actually hear the clock ticking and you know it’s time to get things done.

    4.  Women in their 30s are better in relationships

    An amazing thing happened when I hit 30–I fully realized life is not all about me. I now better understand balance and that translates into healthier relationships. You become a better daughter, friend, spouse or girlfriend and mother.

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    By 30 you don’t have it all figured out but you do have a firm grasp on what you don’t want in a relationship. You are able to look past those sexy abs and full head of hair in search for an individual that is compatible with you in all aspects of life.

    https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-girl-nails-sexy-17725/

      5. Women in their 30s are more content and settled

      Everything is no longer the end of the world. You have learned to pick your battles, your friends and the drama you allow into your life. You are content to just “Netflix and chill,” in lieu of bar hopping and partying every weekend. You understand that routine is a normal part of your existence and have accepted that a lot of life is of getting up every morning, following your routine and the doing it all over again the next day. AND that thought no longer provokes a panic attack.

      6.  Women in their 30s have wisdom cultivated by experience

      By the time I reached 30, I had seen a lot and done a lot. I was married, had finished college, was working in the career field of my choice, and had spent time traveling abroad. I experienced multiple highs and lows through each of those journeys and by the time I hit 30, I was no longer making the same mistakes and my thought patterns and approach to life had changed.

      Experiences stick with you and each experience alters you just a bit. Thirty is the time you settle into who you are and become more aware of the world around you. You have learned some things–and though you don’t know everything–you know enough not to ever wish you were 21 again.

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      7.  Women in their 30s no longer live with wreck- less abandon but take calculated risk

      In your 30s you have more to lose and the memory of past pains help you to be a bit more selective in your risk taking. You’ve gone from careless risks to being cautious and calculating. You are smarter, wiser and understand that time is precious.

      The choice of whether or not to quit your job and run away with Raul to become a unicorn farmer is so much easier now that you are 30. You already know how that story ends.

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      Denise Hill

      Denise shares about psychology and communication tips on Lifehack.

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      Published on May 4, 2021

      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

      How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

      They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

      In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

      How to Spot Fake People?

      When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

      Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

      1. Full of Themselves

      Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

      Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

      2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

      Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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      It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

      3. Zero Self-Reflection

      To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

      Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

      4. Unrealistic Perceptions

      Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

      A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

      5. Love Attention

      As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

      6. People Pleaser

      Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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      Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

      7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

      Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

      8. Crappy friend

      Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

      It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

      The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

      How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

      It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

      There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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      1. Boundaries

      Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

      2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

      Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

      3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

      If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

      4. Ask for Advice

      If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

      Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

      5. Dig Deeper

      Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

      Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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      6. Practice Self-Care!

      Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

      Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

      Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

      Final Thoughts

      Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

      We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

      More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

      Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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