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13 Small Struggles Introverts Are Too Familiar With

13 Small Struggles Introverts Are Too Familiar With

Being introverted can be a struggle at times but with research saying you have a 50% chance of being an introvert, there are many people feeling the same way you do.

Introvert problems tend to transcend into social interactions (or lack of them) and so, to others, introverts can come across as being rude or anti-social. This isn’t the case though – while introversion can mean spending a lot of time by yourself, there is no malice or rude intent in any of your actions – it’s just your love of enjoying your own company in your own environment.

There are several struggles an introvert can face on a daily basis or even just occasionally. But if you’re truly introverted, then you should be able to identify with these 13 introvert problems.

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1. You Are Able To Identify Awkward Moments

If you’re in a room with people and the conversation runs out or there’s an awkward silence, you notice it instantly. In fact you probably feel the awkwardness more strongly even though you aren’t the reason for the awkward atmosphere. Most other people don’t even notice it. Since you’re more of an observer in these situations, you also notice when a person is being fake or insincere. Being an introvert means you’re highly aware of social interactions more than others.

2. Party Problems No.1

You are invited to a party or a gathering but you’re more fixated on who will be going rather what the party will involve. Whether or not you go is entirely reliant on which of your close friends are going. You hesitate when you find out none of them will likely be there and you start the inner struggle of thinking of ways to decline the invitation.

3. Party Problems No. 2

You decide you’ll show your face with friends in tow but even before you leave the house, you’ve come up with at least two or three excuses as to why you have to leave early. You might end up having a good time and staying until the end but you never make that assumption! The assumption is always that you’ll start to get that itching feeling to leave at some point during the night and clock-watching is your main activity of the evening.

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4. You Decline Invitations Because You’d Rather Be Alone

This is one of the most common introvert problems. A lot of the time you decline invitations purely because the thought of socialising for hours either bores you or overwhelms you and you’d rather stay in reading a good book or watching Netflix with your dog who never questions your actions.

5. You’re Not Good At Initiating Contact

Despite having many close friends and family, you find it hard to muster up the need to call or initiate contact because it feels like a lot of effort and not talking is sometimes just better than talking.

6. You’re Anxious At Starting Conversations With Strangers

The thought of having to start a conversation with someone fills you with dread. The pressure of it stresses you out and you worry it’s suddenly your responsibility to carry on a conversation you didn’t even want in the first place. What if I end up talking nonsense? What if they don’t make much conversation back? The anxiety of it all just makes you avoid initiating conversations in the first place.

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7. You Avoid Eye-Contact At All Costs

You don’t mean to and sometimes you don’t realise until after an exchange that you made no eye-contact whatsoever. Not only is this a problem when talking to people but you actively avoid eye-contact to stop anyone feeling like they can approach you. Anything to stop an awkward conversation.

8. You Hate Small Talk

Parties, gatherings, your friend’s mum, the postman – you dread anyone starting small talk with you. Period.

9. You Hate It When Someone Sits Next To You On The Bus

You like your space and you love it when you can get to sit by yourself on any mode of transport like a bus, train or airplane. That’s why you get a pang of annoyance every time someone decides to take the seat next to you especially if they had a huge range of other perfectly good seats to choose from. Even worse if they try and start a conversation.

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10. You Avoid Answering The Phone

You hate talking on the phone and always avoid answering a call even if it’s from your closet friends. Texting is a much safer and less anxious way of communication for you every time.

11. You Cancel Plans At The Last Minute

You said yes to plans with friends made a couple of weeks ago – you even may have been looking forward to it, but the day before you start to wish you weren’t going, you’d rather finish that book or try out that new recipe you’ve thought about making – suddenly going out and socialising just seems too much. You feel guilty but that feeling of relief when you cancel makes you feel better.

12. You Struggle Between The Love Of Staying In And The Feeling You Should Be Out Living Your Life

You have an inner conflict that on one hand you love your alone time and avoiding anxious, awkward social situations is your favourite thing to do but on the other hand, you feel you should be pushing yourself more to go out and experience life, meet new people and gain more experiences. But you always conclude that you are who you are – why should you conform?

13. Some People Assume You’re Shy Which Isn’t Always The Case

Although some introverts are shy and anxious about many interactions, being shy and being introverted are two different personality characteristics. Introverts enjoy being by themselves and can happily entertain themselves for hours but that doesn’t always mean they don’t like talking to people generally. Often many introverts can be mistaken for being shy when really they are just happy with their own company.

Featured photo credit: kaboompics.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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