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13 Small Struggles Introverts Are Too Familiar With

13 Small Struggles Introverts Are Too Familiar With

Being introverted can be a struggle at times but with research saying you have a 50% chance of being an introvert, there are many people feeling the same way you do.

Introvert problems tend to transcend into social interactions (or lack of them) and so, to others, introverts can come across as being rude or anti-social. This isn’t the case though – while introversion can mean spending a lot of time by yourself, there is no malice or rude intent in any of your actions – it’s just your love of enjoying your own company in your own environment.

There are several struggles an introvert can face on a daily basis or even just occasionally. But if you’re truly introverted, then you should be able to identify with these 13 introvert problems.

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1. You Are Able To Identify Awkward Moments

If you’re in a room with people and the conversation runs out or there’s an awkward silence, you notice it instantly. In fact you probably feel the awkwardness more strongly even though you aren’t the reason for the awkward atmosphere. Most other people don’t even notice it. Since you’re more of an observer in these situations, you also notice when a person is being fake or insincere. Being an introvert means you’re highly aware of social interactions more than others.

2. Party Problems No.1

You are invited to a party or a gathering but you’re more fixated on who will be going rather what the party will involve. Whether or not you go is entirely reliant on which of your close friends are going. You hesitate when you find out none of them will likely be there and you start the inner struggle of thinking of ways to decline the invitation.

3. Party Problems No. 2

You decide you’ll show your face with friends in tow but even before you leave the house, you’ve come up with at least two or three excuses as to why you have to leave early. You might end up having a good time and staying until the end but you never make that assumption! The assumption is always that you’ll start to get that itching feeling to leave at some point during the night and clock-watching is your main activity of the evening.

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4. You Decline Invitations Because You’d Rather Be Alone

This is one of the most common introvert problems. A lot of the time you decline invitations purely because the thought of socialising for hours either bores you or overwhelms you and you’d rather stay in reading a good book or watching Netflix with your dog who never questions your actions.

5. You’re Not Good At Initiating Contact

Despite having many close friends and family, you find it hard to muster up the need to call or initiate contact because it feels like a lot of effort and not talking is sometimes just better than talking.

6. You’re Anxious At Starting Conversations With Strangers

The thought of having to start a conversation with someone fills you with dread. The pressure of it stresses you out and you worry it’s suddenly your responsibility to carry on a conversation you didn’t even want in the first place. What if I end up talking nonsense? What if they don’t make much conversation back? The anxiety of it all just makes you avoid initiating conversations in the first place.

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7. You Avoid Eye-Contact At All Costs

You don’t mean to and sometimes you don’t realise until after an exchange that you made no eye-contact whatsoever. Not only is this a problem when talking to people but you actively avoid eye-contact to stop anyone feeling like they can approach you. Anything to stop an awkward conversation.

8. You Hate Small Talk

Parties, gatherings, your friend’s mum, the postman – you dread anyone starting small talk with you. Period.

9. You Hate It When Someone Sits Next To You On The Bus

You like your space and you love it when you can get to sit by yourself on any mode of transport like a bus, train or airplane. That’s why you get a pang of annoyance every time someone decides to take the seat next to you especially if they had a huge range of other perfectly good seats to choose from. Even worse if they try and start a conversation.

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10. You Avoid Answering The Phone

You hate talking on the phone and always avoid answering a call even if it’s from your closet friends. Texting is a much safer and less anxious way of communication for you every time.

11. You Cancel Plans At The Last Minute

You said yes to plans with friends made a couple of weeks ago – you even may have been looking forward to it, but the day before you start to wish you weren’t going, you’d rather finish that book or try out that new recipe you’ve thought about making – suddenly going out and socialising just seems too much. You feel guilty but that feeling of relief when you cancel makes you feel better.

12. You Struggle Between The Love Of Staying In And The Feeling You Should Be Out Living Your Life

You have an inner conflict that on one hand you love your alone time and avoiding anxious, awkward social situations is your favourite thing to do but on the other hand, you feel you should be pushing yourself more to go out and experience life, meet new people and gain more experiences. But you always conclude that you are who you are – why should you conform?

13. Some People Assume You’re Shy Which Isn’t Always The Case

Although some introverts are shy and anxious about many interactions, being shy and being introverted are two different personality characteristics. Introverts enjoy being by themselves and can happily entertain themselves for hours but that doesn’t always mean they don’t like talking to people generally. Often many introverts can be mistaken for being shy when really they are just happy with their own company.

Featured photo credit: kaboompics.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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