Advertising
Advertising

13 Small Struggles Introverts Are Too Familiar With

13 Small Struggles Introverts Are Too Familiar With

Being introverted can be a struggle at times but with research saying you have a 50% chance of being an introvert, there are many people feeling the same way you do.

Introvert problems tend to transcend into social interactions (or lack of them) and so, to others, introverts can come across as being rude or anti-social. This isn’t the case though – while introversion can mean spending a lot of time by yourself, there is no malice or rude intent in any of your actions – it’s just your love of enjoying your own company in your own environment.

There are several struggles an introvert can face on a daily basis or even just occasionally. But if you’re truly introverted, then you should be able to identify with these 13 introvert problems.

Advertising

1. You Are Able To Identify Awkward Moments

If you’re in a room with people and the conversation runs out or there’s an awkward silence, you notice it instantly. In fact you probably feel the awkwardness more strongly even though you aren’t the reason for the awkward atmosphere. Most other people don’t even notice it. Since you’re more of an observer in these situations, you also notice when a person is being fake or insincere. Being an introvert means you’re highly aware of social interactions more than others.

2. Party Problems No.1

You are invited to a party or a gathering but you’re more fixated on who will be going rather what the party will involve. Whether or not you go is entirely reliant on which of your close friends are going. You hesitate when you find out none of them will likely be there and you start the inner struggle of thinking of ways to decline the invitation.

3. Party Problems No. 2

You decide you’ll show your face with friends in tow but even before you leave the house, you’ve come up with at least two or three excuses as to why you have to leave early. You might end up having a good time and staying until the end but you never make that assumption! The assumption is always that you’ll start to get that itching feeling to leave at some point during the night and clock-watching is your main activity of the evening.

Advertising

4. You Decline Invitations Because You’d Rather Be Alone

This is one of the most common introvert problems. A lot of the time you decline invitations purely because the thought of socialising for hours either bores you or overwhelms you and you’d rather stay in reading a good book or watching Netflix with your dog who never questions your actions.

5. You’re Not Good At Initiating Contact

Despite having many close friends and family, you find it hard to muster up the need to call or initiate contact because it feels like a lot of effort and not talking is sometimes just better than talking.

6. You’re Anxious At Starting Conversations With Strangers

The thought of having to start a conversation with someone fills you with dread. The pressure of it stresses you out and you worry it’s suddenly your responsibility to carry on a conversation you didn’t even want in the first place. What if I end up talking nonsense? What if they don’t make much conversation back? The anxiety of it all just makes you avoid initiating conversations in the first place.

Advertising

7. You Avoid Eye-Contact At All Costs

You don’t mean to and sometimes you don’t realise until after an exchange that you made no eye-contact whatsoever. Not only is this a problem when talking to people but you actively avoid eye-contact to stop anyone feeling like they can approach you. Anything to stop an awkward conversation.

8. You Hate Small Talk

Parties, gatherings, your friend’s mum, the postman – you dread anyone starting small talk with you. Period.

9. You Hate It When Someone Sits Next To You On The Bus

You like your space and you love it when you can get to sit by yourself on any mode of transport like a bus, train or airplane. That’s why you get a pang of annoyance every time someone decides to take the seat next to you especially if they had a huge range of other perfectly good seats to choose from. Even worse if they try and start a conversation.

Advertising

10. You Avoid Answering The Phone

You hate talking on the phone and always avoid answering a call even if it’s from your closet friends. Texting is a much safer and less anxious way of communication for you every time.

11. You Cancel Plans At The Last Minute

You said yes to plans with friends made a couple of weeks ago – you even may have been looking forward to it, but the day before you start to wish you weren’t going, you’d rather finish that book or try out that new recipe you’ve thought about making – suddenly going out and socialising just seems too much. You feel guilty but that feeling of relief when you cancel makes you feel better.

12. You Struggle Between The Love Of Staying In And The Feeling You Should Be Out Living Your Life

You have an inner conflict that on one hand you love your alone time and avoiding anxious, awkward social situations is your favourite thing to do but on the other hand, you feel you should be pushing yourself more to go out and experience life, meet new people and gain more experiences. But you always conclude that you are who you are – why should you conform?

13. Some People Assume You’re Shy Which Isn’t Always The Case

Although some introverts are shy and anxious about many interactions, being shy and being introverted are two different personality characteristics. Introverts enjoy being by themselves and can happily entertain themselves for hours but that doesn’t always mean they don’t like talking to people generally. Often many introverts can be mistaken for being shy when really they are just happy with their own company.

Featured photo credit: kaboompics.com via pexels.com

More by this author

Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

How to Be More Knowledgeable Science Says Guitar Players’ Brains Are Different From Others’ Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset How to Save a Bunch of Money Easily With This Simple Challenge 11 Killer Ways To Get Rid Of Roaches Without Harming You

Trending in Communication

1 10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life 2 9 Things to Remember When You’re Having a Bad Day 3 5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude 4 How to Think Positive and Eliminate Negative Thoughts 5 How to Deal with Failure and Pick Yourself Back Up

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

Advertising

Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

Advertising

We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

Advertising

It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

Advertising

Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

More Inspiring Lessons

Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

Read Next