Advertising
Advertising

A Love Story Of An Old Couple That Would Make You Smile And Cry

A Love Story Of An Old Couple That Would Make You Smile And Cry

Love makes the world go around. But often, by the time we realize it, it’s too late. We confuse our ideas of love with illusions of star-crossed romances, expensive honeymoons and unrealistic expectations from our significant other; forgetting, as the spoken word poet IN-Q puts it, love is the ‘Only Reason We’re Alive’. Check out this beautiful poem brought to life by some splendid animation.

Finding love at 85

www.youtube.com
    www.youtube.com

    The narrator’s persona is an old man who has finally found his soulmate at…you’ve guessed it.. the age of 85!

    Advertising

    Matching track-suits, aerobic classes and dancing

    capture-20160713-083036
      www.youtube.com

      From going on dates, to spending time with each other, laughing in a cafe and ‘holding hands during Sunday masses’, the poet shows us that love is all about appreciating the present time with your beloved.

      Advertising

      Darker sides of love and life

      capture-20160713-084045
        www.youtube.com

        But he also talks about the dark sides of it, of the impending illness, of the inevitable wrinkles and even feeding your wife because she’s too weak. He further recites,  “Hold her head close like death isn’t chasing us… planning on erasing us. And replacing us with better versions of us. Reshaping us, remaking us, then recreating us with new identities so we can make new memories.”

        Advertising

        Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 3.41.05 PM
          www.youtube.com

          As anyone who’s read or watched ‘The Notebook‘ will realize, love is all about appreciating the beautiful things in life, while they last. So follow the ‘Carpe Diem’ theme, and find your love before you’re 85!

          Advertising

          More by this author

          Archita Mittra

          wordsmith, graphic designer, ideator, creative consultant, full time freelancer

          The Hardest Truth People Learn That Makes Them Much More Successful Than The Others There’re 3 Types Of People When It Comes To Making/Keeping Friends. Which One Are You? This Woman Restores Old Van To Travel Around The World With Her Rescue Dog This Brilliant Gmail Hack Will Let You Know Who’s Shared Your Email With Third Parties Shocking! Does Soy Really Disrupt Hormones?

          Trending in Communication

          1 The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach 2 How to Master Effective Communication Skills at Work and Home 3 Building Relationships: 11 Rules for Self-Promotion 4 18 Ways to Have Effective Communication in the Workplace 5 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Very Best Version of You

          Read Next

          Advertising
          Advertising
          Advertising

          Last Updated on February 21, 2019

          The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

          The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

          In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

          Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

          Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

          Conflicts are literally everywhere.

          Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

          Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

          Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

          Advertising

          Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

          Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

          Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

          The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

          Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

          Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

          How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

          Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

          Advertising

          Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

          Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

          How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

          Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

          Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

          Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

          How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

          Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

          Advertising

          Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

          Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

          How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

          Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

          Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

          Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

          How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

          Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

          Advertising

          Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

          Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

          How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

          Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

          Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

          Read Next