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5 Valuable Life Lessons Travel Has Taught Me

5 Valuable Life Lessons Travel Has Taught Me

We see and hear quotes every day stating that travel is the greatest teacher. We meet and know people who have ventured over to other countries and returned with exciting stories, all telling us that going to another country has opened their eyes.

I never really understood it until I, myself, went venturing out into the big wide world. Upon my return, everyone who I knew told me that I had changed. Not in a bad way, but they all said I had grown so much from when they last saw me and I had changed for the better.

Everybody changes throughout their journey, and everybody grows at their own pace. We just don’t seem to really notice it until we take a moment and reflect on who we are now, compared to the person we were last year or the year before.

I have only been to 18 countries (and counting, I plan to do more!) and I know there are many other people in the world who have been to a lot more than I have; but I want to take a moment and reflect on the top five things I have learnt from my travels so far:

1. Every Single Person Is Beautiful in Their Own, Individual, Way.

Throughout your travels, you meet so many interesting people along the way. I did find, however, that I met a lot more people when I traveled alone than when I went with friends. I think this is because when you are alone, you have to step outside of your comfort zone and make friends with whomever you can. Otherwise, you will have a pretty boring time. What is the point of going overseas if to not meet a person from that country?

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You meet all sorts of characters. Funny, serious, classy, rude, obnoxious, shy, friendly; you name it, you will meet them. What I did find was, once I got to know them on a deeper level, we were all very similar. We all had our fears and insecurities, we all had our dreams and desires, and we all wanted the same thing. I realized that every human being I had met on this planet, thus far, all wanted to feel valued and wanted. We all want to feel like we are appreciated in some way.

Once I realized this, I learnt to look past the flaws and the walls people had built for themselves and learnt to see the beauty within them. I learnt that every single person deep down really did have a big heart. Some just didn’t know how to show it as well as others.

Our journeys and past experiences create the person we are now. Some people have experienced such turmoil and just haven’t come to terms and healed from it. We are all messed up in some kind of way. No one is perfect, but we are all so beautiful in our own individuality. We just express it differently.

2. You Really Don’t Need Much to Survive

When you are jumping from one country to the next, you really don’t want to be carrying a great deal with you. I’ve learnt to ditch the five thousand outfits, the several pairs of shoes, all the gadgets, and whatever else I was used to having so accessible.

I’ve actually become a pro at packing and am renowned for packing my bags within an hour of leaving for the airport. All I really need is clean underwear, a few outfit changes, bikinis, some toiletries, hairbrush, a jacket (in case it gets cold), running shoes, thongs/flipflop/jandals (depending which country you are from), nice shoes (in case I go out somewhere that I need to be dressed up at), my phone, camera (must take photos of EVERYTHING), house keys and passport.

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I have realized that we really don’t need much with us. Especially when you are too busy watching sunsets, going on adventures, tasting exotic food, and experiencing new and exciting moments.

3. The Little Things Can Sometimes Be the Most Priceless

When we are at home in our comfortable surroundings, sometimes we forget to appreciate the little things like watching the sun rise or set, noticing the people around us and the emotions they are feeling, having a proper bathroom and toilet, the warmth of our own bed, I really could go on . . .

After experiencing some amazing sunrises and sunsets all over the world, when I am back home I always try to take a moment to watch the sun rise or set and just enjoy the beauty. You don’t need to be overseas to see a sun set or rise, it’s there every day wherever you are. Just admiring the world and something so natural for even a minute can elevate your mood.

One of my favorite past times when I am overseas is people watching. I love sitting at a cafe or restaurant and just watching those around me. Even at airports you see so many people saying good bye, and the farewells are filled with tears. It is one of those places filled with emotion. People are jetting off somewhere full of excitement, saying a sad goodbye to a dear one or coming back from a business trip tired and flustered. Sometimes, when we are at home, we forget to notice others around us.  The world is a beautiful place and there are so many emotions around us.

How about when you get home and finally get into your warm, cozy bed? How good does it feel after sleeping on several different, sometimes uncomfortable beds? And hooray, a proper bathroom! If you ever find yourself in a third world country, a toilet with toilet paper is a blessing we definitely take for granted.

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4. We Never Remember What People Do for Us, We Remember How They Made Us Feel

When you travel, you meet so many people. You form many friendships, some for a short period of time, some that can last a lifetime. You learn that people will come and go in your life. The ones that leave an imprint are the ones who made you feel either really good or really bad.

Along my journey, I have met some people who I will forever hold dear in my heart. They are those genuine souls who I know will be my friends for life. The people who you had the best days with, and who were there through some bad days. The ones who you laughed with until your bellies hurt, and the ones who held your hair up because you had too much to drink.

You also remember those who you only had a brief encounter with but who had such a beautiful aura about them. It’s nice to know there are genuine people out there, and it’s a blessing to meet them. On the other hand, the ones that gave us bad vibes or made us feel uncomfortable in any kind of way are also people we remember.

From learning this, I try to my best to consciously be aware of how I can make another feel. For I know this is how they will always remember me. As an old saying goes, it’s not where you go, it’s who you meet along the way.

5. You Will Be Much Happier If You Appreciate What You Have

After experiencing a few different cultures, the one thing I noticed the most was that the people from third world countries seemed to smile at you more. They didn’t have much, yet they were always smiling when you walked by. They appreciated what they did have and they were genuinely happy.

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I also found that the majority of those in third world countries were the most generous. They knew what it was like to have nothing, so they never wanted to see somebody else go without. If they only had a banana to eat, they would split it and offer you the other half.

Sometimes we get so stuck in our ways of society and the rat race we find ourselves in that we forget to stop and appreciate just how much we really have. If we have a roof over our head, a bed to sleep in, and can eat every day, we are richer than millions of other people in the world. We get so caught up in what we want and what we don’t have that we forget to notice what we do have, which really is a lot. We really are blessed.

There is a practice that the Law of Attraction has taught me, and that is to take five minutes of your day to count your blessings. Every morning, and before I go to sleep, I take a moment and say thanks for the fact I woke up and I am still alive and healthy. I give thanks for my family and friends. I thank the universe that I have a roof over my head and I have all the necessities I need. I also reflect on how far I have come as a person and let that feeling of gratitude rush over me. Since starting this practice, I really must say my life has changed for the better. Something has shifted and I highly recommend you try it for yourself; I would love to hear how it affects you.

These are the top five lessons I have learnt through my travels. What are your top five?

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

Reference

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