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8 Pieces Of Advice That Are Useless To People With Depression

8 Pieces Of Advice That Are Useless To People With Depression

Depression is often seen in completely different lights by those who have suffered from it and those that have no. If you’re fortunate enough not to have encountered depression in your life, it can be difficult to help despite your best efforts. The advice lovingly provide are often ineffective due to the misunderstandings they contain.

If you really wish to help people with depression, you must develop a deeper understanding of the condition. This is the only way you can help guide your loved ones out of the darknesses. Avoid using these common pieces of advice which unknowingly cause more harm than good.

8 Sayings That Don’t Actually Help People With Depression

1. “Maybe you need to let yourself cry it out, you’ll feel much better after”

Depression is not simply a one-off moment of sadness, it’s a persistent feeling of blue as if life was viewing through a filter. For this reason, letting it out by crying is not going to provide any form of release.

In many cases, suffers have neither the impulse nor the ability to cry.

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2. “You need to get up and get out more. Once you’ve had a good day you’ll be back to normal”

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    If you really want to help people with depression, you must realize it takes a long time to treat. Going out and having a good day may provide temporary relief, but it is far from being a cure-all. Many people wrongly assume having a good day means they are cured, but that’s not how it works.

    As you can’t bring yourself to face these situations, you find yourself cancelling plans and leaving them hanging. They don’t always know how they can help you and rifts can grow between you. Depression can put a tremendous strain on friendships, it’s certainly not something suffers want to willing to introduce it into the relationship.

    3. “Stop getting caught up with negative thoughts, focus on the positive things around you”

    Sadly, it’s never quite as simple as this. Your biology is difficult, if not impossible to simply re-wire. Your core desires and ambitions may be pushing you one way but your brain chemistry seems to battle against you.

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    Having depression can distort your perception of reality dramatically. Those negative thoughts woven by you will in actual fact be your reality.  It can be so dominating that even when observing your life it can be hard to find pride in past achievements. An outsider’s perspective on the situation will be starkly different to what’s experienced by the one who is depressed.

    4. “Don’t worry, you always have us. Sharing more about how you feel will help”

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      While sometimes it can help to share our problems, depressed people are often reluctant to dump this weight upon others. They are very sensitive about the issue, especially since others are unlikely to truly understand how they feel. The last thing they want is someone to think they are being whiny or dramatizing how bad they feel inside.

      They are very conscious of the fact most people don’t know how to react to how they are feeling. Not everyone understands well enough not to take these feelings personally.

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      5. “Get on with your daily routine and you’ll start to feeling better before you know it”

      When you are depressed, even getting through the daily routine can be a slow, uneasy grind. Simply getting out of bed, preparing yourself for the day, eating and even sleeping becomes a grinding chore. Moreover, it’s not something that is going to dissolve depression by any means.

      It becomes a terrible conundrum, you feel completely isolated, yet too depressed to socialize. Coming out and telling your friends why can almost be as hard as dealing with depression itself. Even with treatment, medication, exercise, sleep and a healthy diet, depression is not always simply gone for good.

      6. “If only you could try a little harder to be positive, I know you would feel much better”

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        Unfortunately, the road to recovery from depression can be arduous and is not without pitfalls. Suffers of depression often ensure a bumpy ride, when they begin to feel ok they can be thrown back to square one the next day.

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        It’s an entirely frustrating experience, simply telling them to try harder to be positive does not demonstrate a good understanding of their struggles.

        7. “Setting yourself goals and focusing on achieving them will help you out of this rut”

        Depressed people don’t taste the same sweet taste of satisfaction from their achievements as we do. The dull tone of depression does not allow them to restore their happiness and energy level after success.

        In actual fact, depression suffers may even be the highest performers in their fields. Success does not always alleviate their depression.

        8. “Once you’ve regained control of your emotions you’ll be free from depression”

        The tricky thing about depression is it becomes both an emotional and a physical battle. When you think you’ve regained control of your emotions, physical problems such as aches, fatigue, loss of appetite can flare them up again.

        If you want to help people with depression, you need to understand they are constantly fighting battles on two fronts!

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        Last Updated on August 4, 2020

        8 Benefits of a Minimalist Lifestyle That Get You to Live With Less

        8 Benefits of a Minimalist Lifestyle That Get You to Live With Less

        Minimalism is a way to put a stop to the gluttony of the world around us. It’s the opposite of every advertisement we see plastered on the radio and TV. We live in a society that prides itself on the accumulation of stuff; we eat up consumerism, material possessions, clutter, debt, distractions and noise.

        What we don’t seem to have is any meaning left in our world.

        By adopting a minimalist lifestyle, you can throw out what you don’t need in order to focus on what you do need.

        I know first hand how little we actually need to survive. I was fortunate enough to live in a van for four months while traveling throughout Australia. This experience taught me valuable lessons about what really matters and how little we really need all this stuff we surround ourselves with.

        Less is more.

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        Living a minimalist lifestyle is reducing.There are a few obvious benefits of minimalism such as less cleaning and stress, a more organized household and more money to be found, but there are also a few deep, life-changing benefits.

        What we don’t usually realize is that when we reduce, we reduce a lot more than just stuff.

        Consider just some of the benefits of living with fewer possessions:

        1. Create Room for What’s Important

        When we purge our junk drawers and closets we create space and peace. We lose that claustrophobic feeling and we can actually breathe again. Create the room to fill up our lives with meaning instead of stuff.

        2. More Freedom

        The accumulation of stuff is like an anchor, it ties us down. We are always terrified of losing all our ‘stuff’. Let it go and you will experience a freedom like never before: a freedom from greed, debt, obsession and overworking.

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        3. Focus on Health and Hobbies

        When you spend less time at Home Depot trying unsuccessfully to keep up with the Joneses, you create an opening to do the things you love, things that you never seem to have time for.

        Everyone is always saying they don’t have enough time, but how many people really stop and look at what they are spending their time doing?

        You could be enjoying a day with your kids, hitting up the gym, practicing yoga, reading a good book or traveling. Whatever it is that you love you could be doing, but instead you are stuck at Sears shopping for more stuff.

        4. Less Focus on Material Possessions

        All the stuff we surround ourselves with is merely a distraction, we are filling a void. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy comfort. After the initial comfort is satisfied, that’s where our obsession with money should end.

        We are bombarded by the media presenting promises of happiness through materialistic measures. It’s no wonder we struggle everyday. Resist those urges. It’s an empty path, it won’t make you happy.

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        It’s hard not to get roped into the consumerism trap. I need constant reminders that it’s a false sense of happiness. I enjoy stuff, but I also recognize that I don’t need it.

        5. More Peace of Mind

        When we cling onto material possessions we create stress because we are always afraid of losing these things. By simplifying your life you can lose your attachment to these things and ultimately create a calm, peaceful mind.

        The less things you have to worry about, the more peace you have, and it’s as simple as that.

        6. More Happiness

        When de-cluttering your life, happiness naturally comes because you gravitate towards the things that matter most. You see clearly the false promises in all the clutter, it’s like a broken shield against life’s true essence.

        You will also find happiness in being more efficient, you will find concentration by having refocused your priorities, you will find joy by enjoying slowing down.

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        7. Less Fear of Failure

        When you look at Buddhist monks, they have no fear, and they have no fear because they don’t have anything to lose.

        In whatever you wish to pursue doing you can excel, if you aren’t plagued with the fear of losing all your worldly possessions. Obviously you need to take the appropriate steps to put a roof over your head, but also know that you have little to fear except fear itself.

        8. More Confidence

        The entire minimalist lifestyle promotes individuality and self reliance. This will make you more confident in your pursuit of happiness.

        What’s Next? Go Minimalism.

        If you’re ready to start living a minimalist lifestyle, these articles can help you to kickstart:

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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