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8 Pieces Of Advice That Are Useless To People With Depression

8 Pieces Of Advice That Are Useless To People With Depression

Depression is often seen in completely different lights by those who have suffered from it and those that have no. If you’re fortunate enough not to have encountered depression in your life, it can be difficult to help despite your best efforts. The advice lovingly provide are often ineffective due to the misunderstandings they contain.

If you really wish to help people with depression, you must develop a deeper understanding of the condition. This is the only way you can help guide your loved ones out of the darknesses. Avoid using these common pieces of advice which unknowingly cause more harm than good.

8 Sayings That Don’t Actually Help People With Depression

1. “Maybe you need to let yourself cry it out, you’ll feel much better after”

Depression is not simply a one-off moment of sadness, it’s a persistent feeling of blue as if life was viewing through a filter. For this reason, letting it out by crying is not going to provide any form of release.

In many cases, suffers have neither the impulse nor the ability to cry.

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2. “You need to get up and get out more. Once you’ve had a good day you’ll be back to normal”

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    If you really want to help people with depression, you must realize it takes a long time to treat. Going out and having a good day may provide temporary relief, but it is far from being a cure-all. Many people wrongly assume having a good day means they are cured, but that’s not how it works.

    As you can’t bring yourself to face these situations, you find yourself cancelling plans and leaving them hanging. They don’t always know how they can help you and rifts can grow between you. Depression can put a tremendous strain on friendships, it’s certainly not something suffers want to willing to introduce it into the relationship.

    3. “Stop getting caught up with negative thoughts, focus on the positive things around you”

    Sadly, it’s never quite as simple as this. Your biology is difficult, if not impossible to simply re-wire. Your core desires and ambitions may be pushing you one way but your brain chemistry seems to battle against you.

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    Having depression can distort your perception of reality dramatically. Those negative thoughts woven by you will in actual fact be your reality.  It can be so dominating that even when observing your life it can be hard to find pride in past achievements. An outsider’s perspective on the situation will be starkly different to what’s experienced by the one who is depressed.

    4. “Don’t worry, you always have us. Sharing more about how you feel will help”

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      While sometimes it can help to share our problems, depressed people are often reluctant to dump this weight upon others. They are very sensitive about the issue, especially since others are unlikely to truly understand how they feel. The last thing they want is someone to think they are being whiny or dramatizing how bad they feel inside.

      They are very conscious of the fact most people don’t know how to react to how they are feeling. Not everyone understands well enough not to take these feelings personally.

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      5. “Get on with your daily routine and you’ll start to feeling better before you know it”

      When you are depressed, even getting through the daily routine can be a slow, uneasy grind. Simply getting out of bed, preparing yourself for the day, eating and even sleeping becomes a grinding chore. Moreover, it’s not something that is going to dissolve depression by any means.

      It becomes a terrible conundrum, you feel completely isolated, yet too depressed to socialize. Coming out and telling your friends why can almost be as hard as dealing with depression itself. Even with treatment, medication, exercise, sleep and a healthy diet, depression is not always simply gone for good.

      6. “If only you could try a little harder to be positive, I know you would feel much better”

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        Unfortunately, the road to recovery from depression can be arduous and is not without pitfalls. Suffers of depression often ensure a bumpy ride, when they begin to feel ok they can be thrown back to square one the next day.

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        It’s an entirely frustrating experience, simply telling them to try harder to be positive does not demonstrate a good understanding of their struggles.

        7. “Setting yourself goals and focusing on achieving them will help you out of this rut”

        Depressed people don’t taste the same sweet taste of satisfaction from their achievements as we do. The dull tone of depression does not allow them to restore their happiness and energy level after success.

        In actual fact, depression suffers may even be the highest performers in their fields. Success does not always alleviate their depression.

        8. “Once you’ve regained control of your emotions you’ll be free from depression”

        The tricky thing about depression is it becomes both an emotional and a physical battle. When you think you’ve regained control of your emotions, physical problems such as aches, fatigue, loss of appetite can flare them up again.

        If you want to help people with depression, you need to understand they are constantly fighting battles on two fronts!

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        Last Updated on March 13, 2019

        How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

        How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

        Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

        You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

        Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

        1. Work on the small tasks.

        When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

        Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

        2. Take a break from your work desk.

        Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

        Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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        3. Upgrade yourself

        Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

        The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

        4. Talk to a friend.

        Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

        Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

        5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

        If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

        Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

        Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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        6. Paint a vision to work towards.

        If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

        Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

        Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

        7. Read a book (or blog).

        The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

        Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

        Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

        8. Have a quick nap.

        If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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        9. Remember why you are doing this.

        Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

        What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

        10. Find some competition.

        Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

        Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

        11. Go exercise.

        Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

        Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

        As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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        Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

        12. Take a good break.

        Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

        Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

        Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

        Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

        More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

        Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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