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9 Things All 30-something Gamers Can Relate To

9 Things All 30-something Gamers Can Relate To

I am an aberration. Have been for most of my life. It wasn’t always this way.

I was the third child, a female, with two older brothers, and being a bit of a tomboy was probably somewhat predictable. But when the Atari 2600 came into our house, life as I knew it changed. For those who are not 30-somethings like me, it’s important to understand that the world of gaming became a “guy thing” from that point on. But that “guy thing” became “my thing” too, and today, as an avid female gamer, I still get weird looks and comments. No matter. But for all of you 30-something gamers out there, here are nine things we can all relate to.

1. We Don’t Abide Online Walkthroughs and Cheats

Having begun our gaming “careers” with the Atari and graduating to more sophisticated systems, even though they were still offline, we understand the sense of accomplishment of beating an opponent who sat next us. We didn’t have cheat sheets — it was all on us, baby. Too many gamers today just don’t have perseverance. The minute they run into trouble, they’re off to YouTube for the walkthroughs that some more advanced gamer is making money on.

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Where’s the challenge in that? Where’s the sense of accomplishment when the next level is reached all on your own? You cheated, so your accomplishment means nothing. We veterans, who grew up doing it all on our own, still do it that way — even if we are lying awake at night with unfinished puzzles in our heads and ruminating about different strategies to get to the next level. Get a clue — gaming is not supposed to be easy.

2. Joystick Envy: It Was a Real Thing

The original “joystick” was a computer keyboard. But as the gaming industry grew, of course, that had to change. We became airline pilots with sticks that could move in four directions and control where people, cars, and other figures moved around on the screen. It was great fun, and we thought gaming had reached a great pinnacle. Now we had a joystick and a couple of buttons — what more could we want?

But as the industry continued to “improve” the joystick design, and there were those who could afford the trendiest models, such as the Quickshot and the Cheetah 125, not to mention the Competition Pro, joystick envy became a real thing. Those who had the latest sticks had the advantage, so new joysticks hit every Christmas and birthday list.

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These joysticks were still personal, though. We had “relationships” with them. Then, along came ergonomic controllers from the likes of Microsoft and Sony. Sure, they’re easier to use, but they have taken the personal aspect out of the joystick, and that is a bit sad.

3. Graphic Design: Did We Really Care?

No, we didn’t. On the Commodore 64, there was the Hobbit game. It actually won an award for being the best strategy game in 1983 (I am a bit of a gaming trivia addict). The games we played had flat, two-dimensional designs — no HD backdrops and cinema. We finished a level before our very eyes and moved onto the next, before our very eyes. We were given prompts such as “Get Key” or “Shoot Dragon.” Our gaming was based upon logic and strategy, not romps around HD, 3D screens with hints to be found by pressing an “X.” We had no video graphics — just our brains and a logical puzzle to solve that would get us out of a tunnel.

4. We are Still Huge Fans of Old Video Games

Yes, we have adapted. We play with strangers with “handles” from places of unknown origin. We use the latest ergonomic joysticks, and we compete to win. We were gaming while some of our competitors were still in diapers. No matter.

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But every now and then, the nostalgia hits. We pull that old Atari or Commodore out (I still have both) or we go to an arcade that still has a Ms. Pac-Man machine.

We remember “Frogger,” where the only violence was being eaten by an alligator or squashed by traffic, as we tried to get him across the road. There was skill and strategy involved, and an emotional connection that we don’t often feel as we chop off heads or tear out hearts and spinal cords of our enemies today. That frog had our hearts and we were sad when he died.

5. We are Old Enough to Afford the Latest and Coolest Gadgets

As we have evolved, so have gaming consoles and gadgets. We are in our 30s, gainfully employed, and no longer have to ask mom and dad or Santa for the latest. So, while younger gamers are trying to figure out what they can sell, pawn, or trade for the next new gadget, we already have it. Personally, I have a closet shelf of joysticks, and my latest purchase? An Oculus Rift Developer Kit — we’ll see where that takes me!

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6. We Join the Teens for Midnight Launches

There was no such thing as a midnight launch when we began to game. We went to the store and bought the newest joystick, game, or system. Now, we find ourselves bundled up in coats and hoods, wrapped in blankets, drinking our hot coffee that a friend has dropped off, and all for what? To be there when the door opens, line up, and get that game that has been hyped for months. We triumphantly exit the store with our coveted “prize,” get home, pop it into our gaming system, play for a few minutes, and pass out exhausted. Our younger counterparts, who don’t have to get up for work in the morning, are playing all night.

7. We Get Warned About Addiction

I have a friend who is in AA — she has been sober for three years, and, to be quite frank about it, she has become my conscience. I don’t like it. As she explains to me often, some people have a propensity for addiction — scientists have isolated a gene. She thinks I have it. Her evidence?

  • I can game for hours and lose track of time
  • I have more than once gone into work bleary-eyed because some new game has consumed me all night long
  • I have cancelled other social activities when a new game has me enthralled.

Addiction is real. I have read the science, and I understand that addictions to alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, social media, and, yes, even gaming, can wreak havoc in people’s lives. In response, I have now set scheduled times for gaming, although I do “slip” a bit.

8. We Do Some Really Crazy Things to Try Our Own Repairs

Years ago, when our games didn’t work, the “fix” was just to blow in them — yes, we literally blew air from our mouths. And often it worked. Now, when something goes awry, we get online and try every crazy remedy that someone recommends. I have put towels on my Xbox 360, still blow into Game Boy cartridges, and send the system in for repair only as a last resort — my separation anxiety is real.

9. Real Violence: We had to Switch on a Code

We remember the cheat code ABACABB. If we had SEGA, that moved us to the uncensored, more violent killing in Mortal Kombat. It’s no longer necessary, of course, but we still remember the code and whisper it to each other when our boss has been getting us really mad.

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Published on September 23, 2020

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

What is Negotiation?

First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

Places We Negotiate

I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

1. Work/Business

This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

2. Personal

I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

3. Ourselves

You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

6 Negotiation Skills to Master

Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

1. Preparation

Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

2. Clear Communication

The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

3. Active Listening

Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration

To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

5. Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

6. Decision-Making Ability

Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

Conclusion

There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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