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Introverts Are Born To Connect More Deeply With Others, Here’s Why

Introverts Are Born To Connect More Deeply With Others, Here’s Why

“Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow. If you appreciate your own quiet glow, other people will see it too.” – Sophia Dembling

Introverted people are often thought of as quiet and shy – perhaps not the best option for a party or even a date. But look closer. What do you see? A hundred beautiful things about a human being that perhaps just doesn’t interact with the world the same way that a more extroverted person would.

Introverts are not necessarily shy at all, they just do not feed off social energy the way that other people do, the way that extroverts do. They do not need to be the center of attention, it does nothing for them. This is not to say, however, that introverts are not great for a talk, or to spend time with. They are. And here is why.

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Introverts Prefer Deep Conversation

Introverts are great conversationalists, if you get them one-on-one. And when you do, it is a beautiful thing. They have the ability to take time with conversations, and although they can often be a little slow to warm up to you, it is worth the wait. Introverts are not big fans of small talk, they like to speak less but say more. Because of this they have the ability to make deeper and more profound connections with those they choose to interact with in this way. It isn’t just fickle banter. Introverts have a lot of good stuff to say.

They Have An Intriguing Depth

Whether it is the inner glow or the inner knowing, introverts have a mystique surrounding them that is compelling to many other human beings. We wonder what is going on inside that mind. We want to know.
In fact, introverts are more likely to be chased by love interests than they are to do the chasing. Though often described as distant, introverts are far from being invisible.

Says Sophia Dembling, author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After: “I assumed nobody noticed introverted me, but years and years later, when I reunited with people from high school (thank you Internet), I learned that actually, many boys had noticed me.”

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Introverts have different brains to the rest, which is part of their capacity for deeper connections. Their energy levels are invigorated by time alone, unlike extroverts whose energy grows within social environments. Introverts react with overstimulation to dopamine, the neurotransmitter in the brain, whereas extroverts are excited by it. Introverts feel good when they turn inward instead of outward, and reflect on more meaningful ideas.

They Have Successful Relationships With Extroverts And Introverts Alike

Unlike extroverts, introverts can interact with all kinds of personalities – they just aren’t comfortable being all kinds of personalities. Introverts have the amazing gift of being able to appeal to both sides. With other introverts they can be one-on-one, understand each other and have quality time being comfortable within themselves.

Dembling states: “Either combination can work, depending on whether an introvert is looking for someone who will bring a social life to them, or someone who will hunker down at home with them. Both desires are perfectly valid and both combinations can work.”

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With an extrovert it is more like yin and yang, with the introvert complimenting the extrovert by being two different halves of a whole. Both types of relationships can be successful.

Introverts Are Great Listeners

Introverts have a number of excellent skills when it comes to listening to others. These include attention, noticing detail, thoughtfulness, the ability to ask questions, think about and analyze problems in detail. They are incredible partners in this way, and such attributes are closely linked with loyalty and dedication. These are intrinsically linked to how introverts also have more profound connections with others. Caution should be applied in certain situations, however, to make sure that introverts do not get lost in always being the listening ear for people who like to just talk continuously. Balance is paramount.

They Are More Peaceful In The Face Of Aggression

With care not to be passive aggressive, introverts are less likely to be rowdy and start fights when it comes to confrontation. They are more likely to talk things through and offer a more balanced and proactive solution to problems. This prevents emotions running too high and nasty things being thrown around in the heat of the moment, which can be highly salvaging for a strong connection with another. Abstaining from hurtful and irrational behavior is something we could definitely learn from introverts.

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Featured photo credit: Pablo via pablo.buffer.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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