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Introverts Are Born To Connect More Deeply With Others, Here’s Why

Introverts Are Born To Connect More Deeply With Others, Here’s Why

“Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow. If you appreciate your own quiet glow, other people will see it too.” – Sophia Dembling

Introverted people are often thought of as quiet and shy – perhaps not the best option for a party or even a date. But look closer. What do you see? A hundred beautiful things about a human being that perhaps just doesn’t interact with the world the same way that a more extroverted person would.

Introverts are not necessarily shy at all, they just do not feed off social energy the way that other people do, the way that extroverts do. They do not need to be the center of attention, it does nothing for them. This is not to say, however, that introverts are not great for a talk, or to spend time with. They are. And here is why.

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Introverts Prefer Deep Conversation

Introverts are great conversationalists, if you get them one-on-one. And when you do, it is a beautiful thing. They have the ability to take time with conversations, and although they can often be a little slow to warm up to you, it is worth the wait. Introverts are not big fans of small talk, they like to speak less but say more. Because of this they have the ability to make deeper and more profound connections with those they choose to interact with in this way. It isn’t just fickle banter. Introverts have a lot of good stuff to say.

They Have An Intriguing Depth

Whether it is the inner glow or the inner knowing, introverts have a mystique surrounding them that is compelling to many other human beings. We wonder what is going on inside that mind. We want to know.
In fact, introverts are more likely to be chased by love interests than they are to do the chasing. Though often described as distant, introverts are far from being invisible.

Says Sophia Dembling, author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After: “I assumed nobody noticed introverted me, but years and years later, when I reunited with people from high school (thank you Internet), I learned that actually, many boys had noticed me.”

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Introverts have different brains to the rest, which is part of their capacity for deeper connections. Their energy levels are invigorated by time alone, unlike extroverts whose energy grows within social environments. Introverts react with overstimulation to dopamine, the neurotransmitter in the brain, whereas extroverts are excited by it. Introverts feel good when they turn inward instead of outward, and reflect on more meaningful ideas.

They Have Successful Relationships With Extroverts And Introverts Alike

Unlike extroverts, introverts can interact with all kinds of personalities – they just aren’t comfortable being all kinds of personalities. Introverts have the amazing gift of being able to appeal to both sides. With other introverts they can be one-on-one, understand each other and have quality time being comfortable within themselves.

Dembling states: “Either combination can work, depending on whether an introvert is looking for someone who will bring a social life to them, or someone who will hunker down at home with them. Both desires are perfectly valid and both combinations can work.”

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With an extrovert it is more like yin and yang, with the introvert complimenting the extrovert by being two different halves of a whole. Both types of relationships can be successful.

Introverts Are Great Listeners

Introverts have a number of excellent skills when it comes to listening to others. These include attention, noticing detail, thoughtfulness, the ability to ask questions, think about and analyze problems in detail. They are incredible partners in this way, and such attributes are closely linked with loyalty and dedication. These are intrinsically linked to how introverts also have more profound connections with others. Caution should be applied in certain situations, however, to make sure that introverts do not get lost in always being the listening ear for people who like to just talk continuously. Balance is paramount.

They Are More Peaceful In The Face Of Aggression

With care not to be passive aggressive, introverts are less likely to be rowdy and start fights when it comes to confrontation. They are more likely to talk things through and offer a more balanced and proactive solution to problems. This prevents emotions running too high and nasty things being thrown around in the heat of the moment, which can be highly salvaging for a strong connection with another. Abstaining from hurtful and irrational behavior is something we could definitely learn from introverts.

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Featured photo credit: Pablo via pablo.buffer.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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