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People Who Enjoy Alone Time All Have These 5 Things In Common

People Who Enjoy Alone Time All Have These 5 Things In Common

There is a common thread that ties together many different types of people that enjoy their time alone more than the average. Just because you like being alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have thoughts that flow through your mind and stimulate you. Perhaps you gain greater stimulus from the thoughts you have in solitude. Could it be possible that it’s easier for you to work towards your goals or your thoughts are clearer when you’re alone?

Their happiness stems from internal stimuli

Sometimes it can be difficult for others to understand that you don’t equate attention with validation. You don’t need anyone to give you the inside scoop on what you’re feeling. This doesn’t mean that you don’t require stimulation. In fact, at times you feel that you process stimuli more deeply than your cohorts.

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Everyone has some sort of energy wellspring that they feed from. Taking the time to connect with the inner you is not so you can appear well adjusted. You do this to access  where your happiness truly lives. If you looked to an outside source for your happiness, as a creature of habit where would you be?

They always seek growth

You don’t mean to be a snob about your activities. You simply want to make the best use of your time possible. Therefore, the conversations you find interesting are the ones that fuel growth. A large part of you is always looking deep inside to make yourself become more. You’re not much for chit chat and that’s okay.

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It’s as if you feel it’s a part of the duty of mankind to have deeper thoughts. There are enough people concerned with small talk right? Big ideas are sexy conversation for you. People who enjoy growth frequently look for growth opportunities. You use conversation as an opportunity for you to see how much other people have grown, as well as show your growth to others.

They form deep connections with others

Because you’ve taken the time to get to know yourself so well, it’s easy for you to get to know other people. Not just get to know them, you may be interested in getting to know them better than they know themselves. You get excited about delving deeply into the mind of another person to see what treasures you can uncover.

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Introverts explore themselves at fascinating depths and others may be surprised when they learn that introverts view them the same way. Take pleasure in clarifying that you’re not antisocial, your time alone allows you to bring more stimulating conversations to the table.

Self-reflection gives them clarity on what they want

People who intentionally spend a great deal of time alone are likely to be introverts. These people naturally know themselves really well. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to place such importance on their own subjective views. You have these views because you’re able to go inside and listen carefully to what you want.

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This kind of self-reflection is bound to bring a certain level of clarity and peace. You take pleasure in handpicking the activities and conversations you’re going to be involved in. In your world, there’s only room for what fulfills you. It’s a good thing that you don’t need any kind of incessant activity to stimulate yourself. If there is a void, you recognize it and fill it yourself.

They are simply smarter

Why do you always go off on your own? Why would you rather be by yourself than even with your best friend? An intelligent mind encourages intelligent actions. Research has shown that intelligent people tend to spend less time socializing because they are busy working on a long-term objective.

A study conducted on 15,000 people aged 18-28 concluded that those who live in areas with less people are more satisfied with life than those who live in dense populations. The study also showed that people who are intelligent become less happy after spending time with friends. Researcher Carol Graham came to the conclusion that intelligent people are so enthused with intellectual goals, that anything that diminishes that is viewed negatively.
All of the time that you’ve spent by yourself is actually an indication that you have some traits that are quite positive. You know yourself, you know how to connect with others, and most importantly you place emphasis on growth. You’re able to prevent yourself from engaging in pointless activities that don’t lead to the results you truly want. Consider yourself fortunate, as many people are not sure what they want to create in life and their focus is scattered, rendering their power less effective than yours.

Featured photo credit: Allef V. via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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