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People Who Enjoy Alone Time All Have These 5 Things In Common

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People Who Enjoy Alone Time All Have These 5 Things In Common

There is a common thread that ties together many different types of people that enjoy their time alone more than the average. Just because you like being alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have thoughts that flow through your mind and stimulate you. Perhaps you gain greater stimulus from the thoughts you have in solitude. Could it be possible that it’s easier for you to work towards your goals or your thoughts are clearer when you’re alone?

Their happiness stems from internal stimuli

Sometimes it can be difficult for others to understand that you don’t equate attention with validation. You don’t need anyone to give you the inside scoop on what you’re feeling. This doesn’t mean that you don’t require stimulation. In fact, at times you feel that you process stimuli more deeply than your cohorts.

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Everyone has some sort of energy wellspring that they feed from. Taking the time to connect with the inner you is not so you can appear well adjusted. You do this to access  where your happiness truly lives. If you looked to an outside source for your happiness, as a creature of habit where would you be?

They always seek growth

You don’t mean to be a snob about your activities. You simply want to make the best use of your time possible. Therefore, the conversations you find interesting are the ones that fuel growth. A large part of you is always looking deep inside to make yourself become more. You’re not much for chit chat and that’s okay.

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It’s as if you feel it’s a part of the duty of mankind to have deeper thoughts. There are enough people concerned with small talk right? Big ideas are sexy conversation for you. People who enjoy growth frequently look for growth opportunities. You use conversation as an opportunity for you to see how much other people have grown, as well as show your growth to others.

They form deep connections with others

Because you’ve taken the time to get to know yourself so well, it’s easy for you to get to know other people. Not just get to know them, you may be interested in getting to know them better than they know themselves. You get excited about delving deeply into the mind of another person to see what treasures you can uncover.

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Introverts explore themselves at fascinating depths and others may be surprised when they learn that introverts view them the same way. Take pleasure in clarifying that you’re not antisocial, your time alone allows you to bring more stimulating conversations to the table.

Self-reflection gives them clarity on what they want

People who intentionally spend a great deal of time alone are likely to be introverts. These people naturally know themselves really well. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to place such importance on their own subjective views. You have these views because you’re able to go inside and listen carefully to what you want.

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This kind of self-reflection is bound to bring a certain level of clarity and peace. You take pleasure in handpicking the activities and conversations you’re going to be involved in. In your world, there’s only room for what fulfills you. It’s a good thing that you don’t need any kind of incessant activity to stimulate yourself. If there is a void, you recognize it and fill it yourself.

They are simply smarter

Why do you always go off on your own? Why would you rather be by yourself than even with your best friend? An intelligent mind encourages intelligent actions. Research has shown that intelligent people tend to spend less time socializing because they are busy working on a long-term objective.

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A study conducted on 15,000 people aged 18-28 concluded that those who live in areas with less people are more satisfied with life than those who live in dense populations. The study also showed that people who are intelligent become less happy after spending time with friends. Researcher Carol Graham came to the conclusion that intelligent people are so enthused with intellectual goals, that anything that diminishes that is viewed negatively.
All of the time that you’ve spent by yourself is actually an indication that you have some traits that are quite positive. You know yourself, you know how to connect with others, and most importantly you place emphasis on growth. You’re able to prevent yourself from engaging in pointless activities that don’t lead to the results you truly want. Consider yourself fortunate, as many people are not sure what they want to create in life and their focus is scattered, rendering their power less effective than yours.

Featured photo credit: Allef V. via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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