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Signs You’re Emotional and Mentally Strong at the Same Time

Signs You’re Emotional and Mentally Strong at the Same Time

As you know, life can be emotionally distressing. You’re sensitive, you can sense the people around you. You’ve been blessed or cursed with this uncanny ability to feel. You feel that your extrasensory perception gives you more information about your environment. You’re keen on how other people feel about you. Is it better to be mentally strong or emotionally strong? Perhaps emotional strength is a prerequisite of mental strength. Emotions strike an evocative chord within you, one that you could not control without mental strength.

You cry, wipe your tears, and take action.

While some may believe it is better to ignore your feelings and push through, this builds up unhealthy blockages. Crying when in distress is a sign of strength, authenticity, and being in tune with yourself. It’s far more damaging to let the tears build up and suddenly unleash on the wrong person.

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You don’t care how the world perceives your tears, they’re necessary. The emotional release of crying lets the negative emotions fly free. People who cry and get back to work have the wisdom that emotions can overtake you if you let them. This wisdom lets emotional people know that crying is necessary to free up emotional and mental space that you could be using for happiness and productivity.

You may be quick to anger, but you turn it into positivity.

Being so in touch with your state of emotion gives you quick access to your anger too. What does this really mean? Emotional people have to have more mental strength than the average individual. Your rushing waters of anger can quickly become a tsunami, but you control the tide.

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According to a study of the broaden-and-build theory of Barbara Fredrickson, positive emotions allow you to build more personal resources due to expanding your cognition and attention. You have the mental discipline to decide in an instant whether this intense energy will be destructive or creative. What kind of mental powerhouse converts fury into positive action? You, the master of your emotional physiology.

You use your emotionality intelligently to be empathetic & understanding.

Sometimes you walk into a room and feel the air electrified with emotions. You can feel the ones who are intensely working, strained, happy, and peaceful. Some people may notice your uncanny ability to “read people.” You simply sense the emotions of others because you feel them yourself.

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You feel compassion in the highest degree. This level of empathy requires more mental strength to not absorb the negativity of others. The fact that you’re emotionally adept benefits your relationships because you’re able to understand other people better. Those who don’t understand emotionality may think you would cry over spilled milk; this isn’t the case. You have the mental discipline to differentiate between when someone else’s emotions will affect you and when they absolutely will not.

You can be very sensitive, but know better than to be too serious.

Just because you have highly sensitive emotions does not mean you are high strung. You know how to relax and have fun just as much as anyone else. Emotional people who are self aware may have an air of maturity not to be confused with seriousness. Socially, you’re not on the hunt for comments to be offended by.

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The fact that emotionally sensitive people savor happy moments actually increases their emotional strength according to a study conducted at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. It was shown that those who harness the power of positive emotions have more life satisfaction and are more resilient.

You’re sensitive but you know how to keep your emotions in check. You don’t let your high sensitivity weaken your relationships. You use your powers for good by tuning into the emotions of others so you can further understand their thinking, lifestyle, opinions, and so much more.

Everyone should take the time to understand that emotionally sensitive people use a great deal of mental strength. You have to keep your own emotions from going haywire. You also have to  protect yourself from the barrage of emotions you feel around you. When in distress, you may be the first to cry, but you’ll also be the first to take the next step forward.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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