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4 Bonding Tips For New Couples

4 Bonding Tips For New Couples

The ability to form deep and meaningful relationships has always been one of the most important traits of humans. We enjoy love, comfort, and sharing together. However, strong relationships are formed after a long period of tolerance, acceptance, and acknowledging differences. Therefore, being in a new relationship can become stressful and frustrating these days.

There are many ways couples can ensure their relationship stays together and moves past the initial phase. However, many often give up within a few weeks, with little or no effort put into ensuring the relationship’s longevity. “Couples who play together, live together” isn’t just a saying — it’s a mantra for new couples.

There are tips and tricks one can use to create a lasting bond. However, effort should be put in by both partners at the same time.

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1. Place Less Importance On The Word “Me.”

In the beginning of the relationship, we feel responsible for showing the best of ourselves. We put on our best face and constantly focus on the words “me,” “my,” “I,” and “mine.” We fail to acknowledge our partner and their needs and we tend to ignore until the bubble bursts.

In order to create a bond, one has to take the initiative to get to know their counterpart. Instead of focusing on your strengths, ask your partner about theirs. Play to their strengths and allow yourself to be vulnerable. If the best of you is the only part visible at the beginning, when your flaws do show up in the midst of your relationship they may be a surprise to your partner.

None of us are perfect beings, so let your partner see the real you. You should both place a focus on each other rather than on yourselves.

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2. Practice A Hobby Together.

Shared hobbies are the best way to create bonds. We use hobbies as a way to bond with ourselves and understand ourselves; therefore, creating one together allows you to better know one another. The best way to find the perfect hobby is to indulge in activities where you can fail, learn, and grow together while still having fun.

For example, initially in my personal relationship, we were both terrible at cooking. We decided the best way to get to know one another would be to take cooking lessons and try to prepare dinner for one another. Our first dinner gave us both food poisoning, but eventually we got better. Now it has become a tradition that we make Saturday night dinners together.

3. Get A Pet Together.

Pets are great for bonding. They give you the incentive and need to cooperate and make decisions together. When you’re new in a relationship, fights over differences are common. However, many fail to realize that having a pet together could actually be a solution.

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Animals are generally very intuitive towards their masters; they understand their moods and auras around them. A negative ambiance makes them react differently compared to a positive one. Having a pet can allow a chance for better communication because instinctively your pet might initiate the reconciliation to avoid anymore negative energy.

4. Experience Extreme Adventures Together.

The couples who are capable of constantly creating memories together are the couples that are able to make extreme decisions. However, the terms “extreme” and “adventure” may bear different definitions to different individuals. For an adrenaline junkie, writing letters and going on a quiet walk may seem like a new adventure, while for those quiet gems, going on a hike or jumping into a bottomless pond may seem quite extreme.

Understand your partner and take them on an adventure they will never forget. You may fail, you may laugh, you may talk, and you may be forced to make decisions. Overall, you’ll create memories with one another. These memories may help you to develop a tolerance to your partner’s habits and serve a purpose as reconciliation tools in the future.

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Overall, we are all instinctually tuned to put on a mask to impress. However, as the mask wears off and our flaws surface, we fail to realize that flaws are part of being human. We avoid or quit the one adventure that could be our companion when we’re 70 and gray.

Therefore, make an effort to create a bond at the start of your relationship to ensure a great adventure until the end.

Featured photo credit: Shenkeri Chandramohan via facebook.com

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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