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9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

The media is always telling us what to wear, what to say, etc. to impress people. However, to be with someone happily you don’t have to do so. It’s really important to be ourselves and feel worthy of ourselves instead of trying hard to impress and caring too much about what others think. When you can find such a person, never let him/her go. Below are the signs you’re dating someone you don’t have to impress at all.

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    1. You don’t mind revealing your shortcomings

    Maybe you’re the messy type that knows where everything is located. Perhaps it’s known that for you, making dinner is a struggle. It’s okay, you’re loved anyway. You know you’ll never be put on the spot for your bad cooking when the person you’re dating steps up and shares the responsibility with you. Your date surprises you with dinner or teaches you to cook as opposed to bringing over friends and family expecting you to turn into a chef.

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    2. You can admit what you don’t know without feeling ashamed

    Everyone is an expert on something. More than likely, you appreciate if your date has a high intellect. If anything they impress you with their knowledge. If your date finds that you clearly don’t know something, they never make you feel ashamed. You get the relief of telling them you don’t know and they never make you feel any less for it. You may notice your differences bringing you closer together, rather than further apart.

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      3. You can reveal your past mistakes and feel understood but not judged

      You really know where you stand with your date when you can reveal mistakes you made with no fear of being ridiculed. They take the time to relate to you and understand your actions. You’re not made to feel ashamed of the things you’re not proud of. They don’t see you as less than perfect, but the human being that you are.

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        4. You don’t mind showing your silly sides

        You can be goofy as often as you want and it’s all taken in good fun. They know you can be serious, but they bring so much playfulness and joy out of you. You’re more willing to be vulnerable and get in touch with your inner child than you would be with most people. You give each other comic relief. They get just as silly as you and give you laughter as medicine.

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          5. You don’t feel the need to change your inner self to make him/her more satisfied

          The person you don’t need to impress makes you want to express more of who you are, not alter it for them. They know who you are and never ask you to be anything different. They don’t make you feel like you have to adjust to eating what they like and take up the same hobbies. No need to sharpen your fantasy football skills or take up hiking if that’s not your thing.

          6. You can always be frank and there’s no guessing game

          What a relief to be able to say exactly what is on your mind without having to soften it. You don’t have to water down your strong, opinionated views. The two of you don’t give each other much of an opportunity to misinterpret each other because you’re direct and honest with each other.

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            7. You’re treasured because of your personality but not because of what you have

            They love the gifts you bring to the world more than the gifts you buy. The enthusiasm you experience dating each other comes from excellent chemistry of your personalities. Your material objects are not mentioned much because you’re the real treasure. You find that you spend more time genuinely talking about each other than emphasizing your possessions.

            8. You don’t mind showing your weak sides and can vent your emotions freely

            They not only listen to your troubles, they want to hear them. Your relationship has surpassed simply impressing them when they request you count on them when you’re not at your best. They’re actually disappointed if you don’t reach out to them when you’re sad. They want to talk to you when you feel weak or low not because misery loves company, but because they know you’re a human being. You cycle through an array of emotions and the person you’re dating wants to experience it with you.

            9. You can enjoy quiet time without each other without worrying what to say next

            Rest in peace awkward silence, you just don’t have these moments anymore. The silence is peaceful and charges the air with loving, comforting energy. Sometimes a glance in the eyes or a smile says it all. For many, enjoying the company of someone else in silence for the first time is the official point of reaching ultimate comfort with the one you’re dating. When the person you’re dating helps you clean up your house, car, or helps you with any weakness, you know they care. How relieving is it that you get to continue being your awesome self and appreciated for it? Soak in every comforting moment, confide in them, and know that your possessions are only just that. Every bit of what you have to say is appreciated, whether it’s a corny joke or you’re suffering a loss. Everyone likes feeling acknowledged. The beauty about dating this person is that they never expected you to impress them anyway.

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            Featured photo credit: Woman with hair blowing in wind by Michael Fertig via Magdeleine

            Featured photo credit: by Michael Fertig via magdeleine.co

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            Published on May 18, 2021

            How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

            How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

            We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

            The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

            Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

            Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

            Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

            There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

            Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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            Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

            We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

            Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

            A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

            The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

            Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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            Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

            Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

            Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

            While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

            Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

            These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

            Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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            Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

            Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

            Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

            Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

            Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

            Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

            As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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            This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

            Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

            Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

            These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

            Actions Speak Louder Than Words

            Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

            Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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            Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

            More Tips Improving Listening Skills

            Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

            Reference

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