Advertising
Advertising

9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

The media is always telling us what to wear, what to say, etc. to impress people. However, to be with someone happily you don’t have to do so. It’s really important to be ourselves and feel worthy of ourselves instead of trying hard to impress and caring too much about what others think. When you can find such a person, never let him/her go. Below are the signs you’re dating someone you don’t have to impress at all.

XE3TAOR8NF

    1. You don’t mind revealing your shortcomings

    Maybe you’re the messy type that knows where everything is located. Perhaps it’s known that for you, making dinner is a struggle. It’s okay, you’re loved anyway. You know you’ll never be put on the spot for your bad cooking when the person you’re dating steps up and shares the responsibility with you. Your date surprises you with dinner or teaches you to cook as opposed to bringing over friends and family expecting you to turn into a chef.

    Advertising

    2. You can admit what you don’t know without feeling ashamed

    Everyone is an expert on something. More than likely, you appreciate if your date has a high intellect. If anything they impress you with their knowledge. If your date finds that you clearly don’t know something, they never make you feel ashamed. You get the relief of telling them you don’t know and they never make you feel any less for it. You may notice your differences bringing you closer together, rather than further apart.

    B1YKNBZYFW

      3. You can reveal your past mistakes and feel understood but not judged

      You really know where you stand with your date when you can reveal mistakes you made with no fear of being ridiculed. They take the time to relate to you and understand your actions. You’re not made to feel ashamed of the things you’re not proud of. They don’t see you as less than perfect, but the human being that you are.

      Advertising

      woman with donut on each finger

        4. You don’t mind showing your silly sides

        You can be goofy as often as you want and it’s all taken in good fun. They know you can be serious, but they bring so much playfulness and joy out of you. You’re more willing to be vulnerable and get in touch with your inner child than you would be with most people. You give each other comic relief. They get just as silly as you and give you laughter as medicine.

        Advertising

        VB2STTEPDX

          5. You don’t feel the need to change your inner self to make him/her more satisfied

          The person you don’t need to impress makes you want to express more of who you are, not alter it for them. They know who you are and never ask you to be anything different. They don’t make you feel like you have to adjust to eating what they like and take up the same hobbies. No need to sharpen your fantasy football skills or take up hiking if that’s not your thing.

          6. You can always be frank and there’s no guessing game

          What a relief to be able to say exactly what is on your mind without having to soften it. You don’t have to water down your strong, opinionated views. The two of you don’t give each other much of an opportunity to misinterpret each other because you’re direct and honest with each other.

          Advertising

          DEQLZPT7JI

            7. You’re treasured because of your personality but not because of what you have

            They love the gifts you bring to the world more than the gifts you buy. The enthusiasm you experience dating each other comes from excellent chemistry of your personalities. Your material objects are not mentioned much because you’re the real treasure. You find that you spend more time genuinely talking about each other than emphasizing your possessions.

            8. You don’t mind showing your weak sides and can vent your emotions freely

            They not only listen to your troubles, they want to hear them. Your relationship has surpassed simply impressing them when they request you count on them when you’re not at your best. They’re actually disappointed if you don’t reach out to them when you’re sad. They want to talk to you when you feel weak or low not because misery loves company, but because they know you’re a human being. You cycle through an array of emotions and the person you’re dating wants to experience it with you.

            9. You can enjoy quiet time without each other without worrying what to say next

            Rest in peace awkward silence, you just don’t have these moments anymore. The silence is peaceful and charges the air with loving, comforting energy. Sometimes a glance in the eyes or a smile says it all. For many, enjoying the company of someone else in silence for the first time is the official point of reaching ultimate comfort with the one you’re dating. When the person you’re dating helps you clean up your house, car, or helps you with any weakness, you know they care. How relieving is it that you get to continue being your awesome self and appreciated for it? Soak in every comforting moment, confide in them, and know that your possessions are only just that. Every bit of what you have to say is appreciated, whether it’s a corny joke or you’re suffering a loss. Everyone likes feeling acknowledged. The beauty about dating this person is that they never expected you to impress them anyway.

            Featured photo credit: Woman with hair blowing in wind by Michael Fertig via Magdeleine

            Featured photo credit: by Michael Fertig via magdeleine.co

            More by this author

            Will You Be Highly Successful in the Future? These 8 Signs Can Foretell the Answer Positivity Ratio: If You Have One Negative Emotion, You Need Three Positive Ones to Counter It 75% Of UK Kids Spend Less Time Outdoors Than Prison Inmates Dad walking with daughter into sunset The Real Reason Why Most Of Us Look More Like Our Dads Than Our Moms 9 Things To Declutter From Your Life To Be Much Happier

            Trending in Communication

            1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

            Read Next

            Advertising
            Advertising
            Advertising

            Last Updated on September 18, 2020

            13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

            “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

            Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

            You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

            Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

            1. Take a step back and evaluate

            When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

            1. What is the problem?
            2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
            3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
            4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
            5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

            Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

            Advertising

            2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

            If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

            At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

            Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

            3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

            Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

            4. Process your thoughts/emotions

            Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

            1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
            2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
            3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
            4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

            5. Acknowledge your thoughts

            Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

            By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

            Advertising

            Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

            6. Give yourself a break

            If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

            7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

            A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

            Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

            After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

            8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

            As Helen Keller once said,

            “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

            Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

            9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

            In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

            1. What’s the situation?
            2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
            3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
            4. Take action on your next steps!

            After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

            10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

            A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

            Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

            For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

            11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

            No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

            Advertising

            12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

            No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

            13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

            There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

            After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

            Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

            Read Next