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9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

The media is always telling us what to wear, what to say, etc. to impress people. However, to be with someone happily you don’t have to do so. It’s really important to be ourselves and feel worthy of ourselves instead of trying hard to impress and caring too much about what others think. When you can find such a person, never let him/her go. Below are the signs you’re dating someone you don’t have to impress at all.

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    1. You don’t mind revealing your shortcomings

    Maybe you’re the messy type that knows where everything is located. Perhaps it’s known that for you, making dinner is a struggle. It’s okay, you’re loved anyway. You know you’ll never be put on the spot for your bad cooking when the person you’re dating steps up and shares the responsibility with you. Your date surprises you with dinner or teaches you to cook as opposed to bringing over friends and family expecting you to turn into a chef.

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    2. You can admit what you don’t know without feeling ashamed

    Everyone is an expert on something. More than likely, you appreciate if your date has a high intellect. If anything they impress you with their knowledge. If your date finds that you clearly don’t know something, they never make you feel ashamed. You get the relief of telling them you don’t know and they never make you feel any less for it. You may notice your differences bringing you closer together, rather than further apart.

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      3. You can reveal your past mistakes and feel understood but not judged

      You really know where you stand with your date when you can reveal mistakes you made with no fear of being ridiculed. They take the time to relate to you and understand your actions. You’re not made to feel ashamed of the things you’re not proud of. They don’t see you as less than perfect, but the human being that you are.

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        4. You don’t mind showing your silly sides

        You can be goofy as often as you want and it’s all taken in good fun. They know you can be serious, but they bring so much playfulness and joy out of you. You’re more willing to be vulnerable and get in touch with your inner child than you would be with most people. You give each other comic relief. They get just as silly as you and give you laughter as medicine.

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          5. You don’t feel the need to change your inner self to make him/her more satisfied

          The person you don’t need to impress makes you want to express more of who you are, not alter it for them. They know who you are and never ask you to be anything different. They don’t make you feel like you have to adjust to eating what they like and take up the same hobbies. No need to sharpen your fantasy football skills or take up hiking if that’s not your thing.

          6. You can always be frank and there’s no guessing game

          What a relief to be able to say exactly what is on your mind without having to soften it. You don’t have to water down your strong, opinionated views. The two of you don’t give each other much of an opportunity to misinterpret each other because you’re direct and honest with each other.

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            7. You’re treasured because of your personality but not because of what you have

            They love the gifts you bring to the world more than the gifts you buy. The enthusiasm you experience dating each other comes from excellent chemistry of your personalities. Your material objects are not mentioned much because you’re the real treasure. You find that you spend more time genuinely talking about each other than emphasizing your possessions.

            8. You don’t mind showing your weak sides and can vent your emotions freely

            They not only listen to your troubles, they want to hear them. Your relationship has surpassed simply impressing them when they request you count on them when you’re not at your best. They’re actually disappointed if you don’t reach out to them when you’re sad. They want to talk to you when you feel weak or low not because misery loves company, but because they know you’re a human being. You cycle through an array of emotions and the person you’re dating wants to experience it with you.

            9. You can enjoy quiet time without each other without worrying what to say next

            Rest in peace awkward silence, you just don’t have these moments anymore. The silence is peaceful and charges the air with loving, comforting energy. Sometimes a glance in the eyes or a smile says it all. For many, enjoying the company of someone else in silence for the first time is the official point of reaching ultimate comfort with the one you’re dating. When the person you’re dating helps you clean up your house, car, or helps you with any weakness, you know they care. How relieving is it that you get to continue being your awesome self and appreciated for it? Soak in every comforting moment, confide in them, and know that your possessions are only just that. Every bit of what you have to say is appreciated, whether it’s a corny joke or you’re suffering a loss. Everyone likes feeling acknowledged. The beauty about dating this person is that they never expected you to impress them anyway.

            Featured photo credit: Woman with hair blowing in wind by Michael Fertig via Magdeleine

            Featured photo credit: by Michael Fertig via magdeleine.co

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            Last Updated on February 11, 2021

            Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

            Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

            How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

            Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

            The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

            Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

            Perceptual Barrier

            The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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            The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

            The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

            Attitudinal Barrier

            Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

            The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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            The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

            Language Barrier

            This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

            The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

            The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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            Emotional Barrier

            Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

            The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

            The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

            Cultural Barrier

            Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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            The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

            The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

            Gender Barrier

            Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

            The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

            The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

            And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

            Reference

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