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9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

9 Signs You’re Dating Someone You Don’t Need To Impress At All

The media is always telling us what to wear, what to say, etc. to impress people. However, to be with someone happily you don’t have to do so. It’s really important to be ourselves and feel worthy of ourselves instead of trying hard to impress and caring too much about what others think. When you can find such a person, never let him/her go. Below are the signs you’re dating someone you don’t have to impress at all.

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    1. You don’t mind revealing your shortcomings

    Maybe you’re the messy type that knows where everything is located. Perhaps it’s known that for you, making dinner is a struggle. It’s okay, you’re loved anyway. You know you’ll never be put on the spot for your bad cooking when the person you’re dating steps up and shares the responsibility with you. Your date surprises you with dinner or teaches you to cook as opposed to bringing over friends and family expecting you to turn into a chef.

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    2. You can admit what you don’t know without feeling ashamed

    Everyone is an expert on something. More than likely, you appreciate if your date has a high intellect. If anything they impress you with their knowledge. If your date finds that you clearly don’t know something, they never make you feel ashamed. You get the relief of telling them you don’t know and they never make you feel any less for it. You may notice your differences bringing you closer together, rather than further apart.

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      3. You can reveal your past mistakes and feel understood but not judged

      You really know where you stand with your date when you can reveal mistakes you made with no fear of being ridiculed. They take the time to relate to you and understand your actions. You’re not made to feel ashamed of the things you’re not proud of. They don’t see you as less than perfect, but the human being that you are.

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        4. You don’t mind showing your silly sides

        You can be goofy as often as you want and it’s all taken in good fun. They know you can be serious, but they bring so much playfulness and joy out of you. You’re more willing to be vulnerable and get in touch with your inner child than you would be with most people. You give each other comic relief. They get just as silly as you and give you laughter as medicine.

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          5. You don’t feel the need to change your inner self to make him/her more satisfied

          The person you don’t need to impress makes you want to express more of who you are, not alter it for them. They know who you are and never ask you to be anything different. They don’t make you feel like you have to adjust to eating what they like and take up the same hobbies. No need to sharpen your fantasy football skills or take up hiking if that’s not your thing.

          6. You can always be frank and there’s no guessing game

          What a relief to be able to say exactly what is on your mind without having to soften it. You don’t have to water down your strong, opinionated views. The two of you don’t give each other much of an opportunity to misinterpret each other because you’re direct and honest with each other.

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            7. You’re treasured because of your personality but not because of what you have

            They love the gifts you bring to the world more than the gifts you buy. The enthusiasm you experience dating each other comes from excellent chemistry of your personalities. Your material objects are not mentioned much because you’re the real treasure. You find that you spend more time genuinely talking about each other than emphasizing your possessions.

            8. You don’t mind showing your weak sides and can vent your emotions freely

            They not only listen to your troubles, they want to hear them. Your relationship has surpassed simply impressing them when they request you count on them when you’re not at your best. They’re actually disappointed if you don’t reach out to them when you’re sad. They want to talk to you when you feel weak or low not because misery loves company, but because they know you’re a human being. You cycle through an array of emotions and the person you’re dating wants to experience it with you.

            9. You can enjoy quiet time without each other without worrying what to say next

            Rest in peace awkward silence, you just don’t have these moments anymore. The silence is peaceful and charges the air with loving, comforting energy. Sometimes a glance in the eyes or a smile says it all. For many, enjoying the company of someone else in silence for the first time is the official point of reaching ultimate comfort with the one you’re dating. When the person you’re dating helps you clean up your house, car, or helps you with any weakness, you know they care. How relieving is it that you get to continue being your awesome self and appreciated for it? Soak in every comforting moment, confide in them, and know that your possessions are only just that. Every bit of what you have to say is appreciated, whether it’s a corny joke or you’re suffering a loss. Everyone likes feeling acknowledged. The beauty about dating this person is that they never expected you to impress them anyway.

            Featured photo credit: Woman with hair blowing in wind by Michael Fertig via Magdeleine

            Featured photo credit: by Michael Fertig via magdeleine.co

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            Last Updated on January 16, 2020

            12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

            12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

            The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

            However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

            “Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

            Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

            1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

            When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

            Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

            2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

            That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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            Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

            3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

            If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

            For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

            People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

            This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

            4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

            Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

            Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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            Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

            Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

            “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

            5. Crack a smile.

            If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

            Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

            6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

            Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

            And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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            7. Groom yourself.

            This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

            A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

            8. Dress nicely.

            Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

            While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

            9. Do activities you enjoy.

            Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

            You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

            10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

            Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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            Why?

            Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

            Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

            Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

            11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

            Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

            Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

            12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

            Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

            The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

            Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

            Reference

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