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Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

As an empath, the chances are that you will have been attracted to one or more narcissists during your lifetime. This type of instinctive attraction can be confusing, particularly when you continue to enter into such relationships after being hurt repeatedly in the past.

Not only can relationships between these two diametrically opposed personality types cause considerable pain, but they are also exhausting and emotionally draining in equal measure. So while some may argue that these unions reflect nature’s way of restoring balance to the world, the individuals involved are often left search for answers.

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From a more analytical perspective, however, there are grounds to believe that both empaths and narcissists boast attributes that appeal to the others’ psyche. This is bad news for the former, however, whose earnest goodness is often misconstrued for weakness over time and makes them a target for their partners angst. With this in mind, let’s take a closer look at how this toxic psychological relationship unfolds and the key elements that draws an empath to a narcissist:

1. All Narcissists are wounded

While narcissists may present themselves in many different ways, they all tend to share one basic characteristic. This is that they are wounded, either from a long-standing childhood trauma or a steady stream of failures that have occurred in their adult lives. So despite the fact that narcissists often display over-confidence or arrogance when dealing with others, this masks a deeper sense of worthlessness and a true lack of self-belief. Consequently, narcissists are often in desperate need of validation, and it is this vulnerability that appeals to a true empath and sparks an initial attraction.

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2. Empaths are natural and sensitive healers

So why should a wounded narcissist appeal to an empath? The reason is that these people are natural healers as well as being extremely sensitive to others needs. This means that not only are they able to recognise the hidden vulnerability within narcissists, but they also have a strong desire to absorb their pain and empower their growth. This subsequently creates a sudden and powerful bond, and one which initially provides emotional satisfaction for both parties.

This short-term gratification also fuels the attraction between the two, while creating greater confusion when the relationship begins to unravel.

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3. Narcissists are able to Manipulate the Qualities of an Empath

On a final note, it is important to understand that narcissists are typically manipulative by nature. This enables them to capitalise on the core emotional qualities of an empath, whose agenda of love, healing and care makes them liable to forgive transgressions and negative behaviour. This only fuels the narcissist’s sense of power and control, enabling them to manipulate the situation while also fulfilling the empath’s desire to help others. As a result of this, empaths are often led to believe that they are in a healthy relationship that can stand the true test of time.

In Summary

The last point reveals why relationships between empaths and narcissists are bound to fail, as the latter are renowned takers and likely to drain the energy of the former over time. While a narcissist may be materialistically generous when it comes to lavishing their loved ones with gifts and investing in a diamond engagement ring, for example, they gradually draw the life out of empaths and leave them emotionally broken.

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So while the attraction between narcissists and empaths is undeniable and easy to understand from a psychological perspective, it is extremely destructive and likely to cause a tremendous amount of emotional pain. Understanding this crucial, especially if you are to break negative patterns of behaviour and build towards a happier future.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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