As an empath, the chances are that you will have been attracted to one or more narcissists during your lifetime. This type of instinctive attraction can be confusing, particularly when you continue to enter into such relationships after being hurt repeatedly in the past.
Not only can relationships between these two diametrically opposed personality types cause considerable pain, but they are also exhausting and emotionally draining in equal measure. So while some may argue that these unions reflect nature’s way of restoring balance to the world, the individuals involved are often left search for answers.
From a more analytical perspective, however, there are grounds to believe that both empaths and narcissists boast attributes that appeal to the others’ psyche. This is bad news for the former, however, whose earnest goodness is often misconstrued for weakness over time and makes them a target for their partners angst. With this in mind, let’s take a closer look at how this toxic psychological relationship unfolds and the key elements that draws an empath to a narcissist:
1. All Narcissists are wounded
While narcissists may present themselves in many different ways, they all tend to share one basic characteristic. This is that they are wounded, either from a long-standing childhood trauma or a steady stream of failures that have occurred in their adult lives. So despite the fact that narcissists often display over-confidence or arrogance when dealing with others, this masks a deeper sense of worthlessness and a true lack of self-belief. Consequently, narcissists are often in desperate need of validation, and it is this vulnerability that appeals to a true empath and sparks an initial attraction.
2. Empaths are natural and sensitive healers
So why should a wounded narcissist appeal to an empath? The reason is that these people are natural healers as well as being extremely sensitive to others needs. This means that not only are they able to recognise the hidden vulnerability within narcissists, but they also have a strong desire to absorb their pain and empower their growth. This subsequently creates a sudden and powerful bond, and one which initially provides emotional satisfaction for both parties.
This short-term gratification also fuels the attraction between the two, while creating greater confusion when the relationship begins to unravel.
3. Narcissists are able to Manipulate the Qualities of an Empath
On a final note, it is important to understand that narcissists are typically manipulative by nature. This enables them to capitalise on the core emotional qualities of an empath, whose agenda of love, healing and care makes them liable to forgive transgressions and negative behaviour. This only fuels the narcissist’s sense of power and control, enabling them to manipulate the situation while also fulfilling the empath’s desire to help others. As a result of this, empaths are often led to believe that they are in a healthy relationship that can stand the true test of time.
The last point reveals why relationships between empaths and narcissists are bound to fail, as the latter are renowned takers and likely to drain the energy of the former over time. While a narcissist may be materialistically generous when it comes to lavishing their loved ones with gifts and investing in a diamond engagement ring, for example, they gradually draw the life out of empaths and leave them emotionally broken.
So while the attraction between narcissists and empaths is undeniable and easy to understand from a psychological perspective, it is extremely destructive and likely to cause a tremendous amount of emotional pain. Understanding this crucial, especially if you are to break negative patterns of behaviour and build towards a happier future.