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Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

As an empath, the chances are that you will have been attracted to one or more narcissists during your lifetime. This type of instinctive attraction can be confusing, particularly when you continue to enter into such relationships after being hurt repeatedly in the past.

Not only can relationships between these two diametrically opposed personality types cause considerable pain, but they are also exhausting and emotionally draining in equal measure. So while some may argue that these unions reflect nature’s way of restoring balance to the world, the individuals involved are often left search for answers.

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From a more analytical perspective, however, there are grounds to believe that both empaths and narcissists boast attributes that appeal to the others’ psyche. This is bad news for the former, however, whose earnest goodness is often misconstrued for weakness over time and makes them a target for their partners angst. With this in mind, let’s take a closer look at how this toxic psychological relationship unfolds and the key elements that draws an empath to a narcissist:

1. All Narcissists are wounded

While narcissists may present themselves in many different ways, they all tend to share one basic characteristic. This is that they are wounded, either from a long-standing childhood trauma or a steady stream of failures that have occurred in their adult lives. So despite the fact that narcissists often display over-confidence or arrogance when dealing with others, this masks a deeper sense of worthlessness and a true lack of self-belief. Consequently, narcissists are often in desperate need of validation, and it is this vulnerability that appeals to a true empath and sparks an initial attraction.

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2. Empaths are natural and sensitive healers

So why should a wounded narcissist appeal to an empath? The reason is that these people are natural healers as well as being extremely sensitive to others needs. This means that not only are they able to recognise the hidden vulnerability within narcissists, but they also have a strong desire to absorb their pain and empower their growth. This subsequently creates a sudden and powerful bond, and one which initially provides emotional satisfaction for both parties.

This short-term gratification also fuels the attraction between the two, while creating greater confusion when the relationship begins to unravel.

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3. Narcissists are able to Manipulate the Qualities of an Empath

On a final note, it is important to understand that narcissists are typically manipulative by nature. This enables them to capitalise on the core emotional qualities of an empath, whose agenda of love, healing and care makes them liable to forgive transgressions and negative behaviour. This only fuels the narcissist’s sense of power and control, enabling them to manipulate the situation while also fulfilling the empath’s desire to help others. As a result of this, empaths are often led to believe that they are in a healthy relationship that can stand the true test of time.

In Summary

The last point reveals why relationships between empaths and narcissists are bound to fail, as the latter are renowned takers and likely to drain the energy of the former over time. While a narcissist may be materialistically generous when it comes to lavishing their loved ones with gifts and investing in a diamond engagement ring, for example, they gradually draw the life out of empaths and leave them emotionally broken.

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So while the attraction between narcissists and empaths is undeniable and easy to understand from a psychological perspective, it is extremely destructive and likely to cause a tremendous amount of emotional pain. Understanding this crucial, especially if you are to break negative patterns of behaviour and build towards a happier future.

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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