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Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

As an empath, the chances are that you will have been attracted to one or more narcissists during your lifetime. This type of instinctive attraction can be confusing, particularly when you continue to enter into such relationships after being hurt repeatedly in the past.

Not only can relationships between these two diametrically opposed personality types cause considerable pain, but they are also exhausting and emotionally draining in equal measure. So while some may argue that these unions reflect nature’s way of restoring balance to the world, the individuals involved are often left search for answers.

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From a more analytical perspective, however, there are grounds to believe that both empaths and narcissists boast attributes that appeal to the others’ psyche. This is bad news for the former, however, whose earnest goodness is often misconstrued for weakness over time and makes them a target for their partners angst. With this in mind, let’s take a closer look at how this toxic psychological relationship unfolds and the key elements that draws an empath to a narcissist:

1. All Narcissists are wounded

While narcissists may present themselves in many different ways, they all tend to share one basic characteristic. This is that they are wounded, either from a long-standing childhood trauma or a steady stream of failures that have occurred in their adult lives. So despite the fact that narcissists often display over-confidence or arrogance when dealing with others, this masks a deeper sense of worthlessness and a true lack of self-belief. Consequently, narcissists are often in desperate need of validation, and it is this vulnerability that appeals to a true empath and sparks an initial attraction.

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2. Empaths are natural and sensitive healers

So why should a wounded narcissist appeal to an empath? The reason is that these people are natural healers as well as being extremely sensitive to others needs. This means that not only are they able to recognise the hidden vulnerability within narcissists, but they also have a strong desire to absorb their pain and empower their growth. This subsequently creates a sudden and powerful bond, and one which initially provides emotional satisfaction for both parties.

This short-term gratification also fuels the attraction between the two, while creating greater confusion when the relationship begins to unravel.

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3. Narcissists are able to Manipulate the Qualities of an Empath

On a final note, it is important to understand that narcissists are typically manipulative by nature. This enables them to capitalise on the core emotional qualities of an empath, whose agenda of love, healing and care makes them liable to forgive transgressions and negative behaviour. This only fuels the narcissist’s sense of power and control, enabling them to manipulate the situation while also fulfilling the empath’s desire to help others. As a result of this, empaths are often led to believe that they are in a healthy relationship that can stand the true test of time.

In Summary

The last point reveals why relationships between empaths and narcissists are bound to fail, as the latter are renowned takers and likely to drain the energy of the former over time. While a narcissist may be materialistically generous when it comes to lavishing their loved ones with gifts and investing in a diamond engagement ring, for example, they gradually draw the life out of empaths and leave them emotionally broken.

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So while the attraction between narcissists and empaths is undeniable and easy to understand from a psychological perspective, it is extremely destructive and likely to cause a tremendous amount of emotional pain. Understanding this crucial, especially if you are to break negative patterns of behaviour and build towards a happier future.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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