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5 Steps Parents Can Take Before The Transition to College

5 Steps Parents Can Take Before The Transition to College

One minute they’re young and fragile and you’re rocking them to sleep, and the next they are ready and raring to flee the nest with as much excitement and vigor as they once had for Chuck-E-Cheese and unicorns. Life is fleeting, and nothing is more evident of this than when your child goes away to college.

For a lot of us, thoughts of having our child stay close to home for college, maybe even taking online courses so they don’t have to go far away, has crossed our minds. As parents, the role we really need to play is more supportive and less overbearing at this point. You can and should help your child be aware of all the options available to them by looking at a list of all the schools in your state or taking a college tour together, but in the end the decision needs to be their own. Once I realized that, I avoided my daughter wanting to strangle me for not allowing her the freedom she desired at this point in her life and I was able get the reassurance and comfort that she was ready and able to be on her own. Here are the five things I found necessary to prepare both of us for the transition ahead.

Managing Finances

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    I am a true believer that there should be a serious focus on finances and managing a good budget in the junior and senior years of high school. Generally, kids graduate high school with no knowledge of how to manage their funds on their own. Whether you are able to help your child out financially while they are in college or not, if they do not know how to stretch that money, I can almost guarantee there will be a call for more finances or they will decide to take out loans to supplement the help — and spend that carelessly as well.

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    We live in a digital age, and trying to get kids to do anything on pen and paper has proven to be difficult. When I was going over a budget with my daughter, we did find several great budget apps that she could download right to her phone so that she always had them at her disposal. They also allowed her to begin saving for the trips she wanted to take.

    I didn’t have to pester her about her money situation (as much) and she was able to take control of her own finances and take that road trip to Havasu Falls like she wanted. Win win.

    Tech Support

    You don’t have to be tech savvy to have experienced the heartbreaking realization that you just lost everything you were working on because the computer failed. The blue screen of death is the real deal and is, unfortunately, something that many college students have a story about.

    Imagine this: it’s finals week and you’re putting the finishing touches on a huge paper — when suddenly, the computer crashes…

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    Having a backup plan is always important. Purchasing not one but two external drives for your newly attending freshman is a huge step in avoiding the looming computer-crashing story. Not only does it help them to keep their computer fairly clear of unnecessary data so that it runs smoother and quicker, but it allows them to save work often so nothing gets lost in the shuffle.

    I say two externals because, as any parent knows, there is a good chance that our efforts to help with tech issues could be overlooked and used for other things. One external for schoolwork and the other for music and entertainment. A work and play set of external drives helped to keep my recent graduate organized and generally on task.

    Basic Life Skills

    From a very young age, I had my daughter help me sort laundry and do household chores. I allowed her to do her own shopping and make dinner once a week at home while in high school so I was confident in her abilities to fend for herself, but one day I got a call asking me how to put gas in her car. She was dead serious and I didn’t know whether to laugh at the idea of her standing there confused trying to pump gas in her car or be upset with myself for failing to show her such a simple task. In the end, we both got a good laugh out of it, but it was a good reminder before she was off to college about the need to revisit even the little things before they are off on their own.

    Whether we think our young adults are ready or not, double checking whether they are capable of basic life skills may sound silly, but it is very necessary. Do they know how to do their own laundry without shrinking everything or turning it another color? Can they cook decent meals for themselves? Do they know how to put gas in their car? These are all very valid questions that a lot of us never think to ask because we are the ones that take care of these aspects of their lives.

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    Heart to Heart

    It seems as though there is always a headline about young college student fatalities from drunk driving and assaults on college campuses — sexual and otherwise. Overlooking the very real possibility that something could happen, in my opinion, is irresponsible. A conversation about drinking and driving is one your child probably won’t enjoy but will appreciate.

    Talking to my daughter about safety and smart choices before she went off to college lifted a weight off my shoulders and, whether she admits it or not, she walked away more aware of herself and her potential circumstances. Even in this day and age, reaffirming to young ladies that it is okay to say no and that her body is not a barter system is necessary. Dinner and a movie doesn’t equate to owing anyone anything. You’re not a tease or a prude, you’re a strong young woman (or young man). For every 1,000 women on a college campus 35 are raped every year. These are very real numbers, so educating our sons and daughters about the facts is prudent.

    Having this conversation before my daughter left for college helped me to reign the stress in. Knowing that she understood kept me from the checking in with her as much as I probably would have otherwise.

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      Financial Aid

      The biggest source of stress for a lot of people when starting out in college is working out the financial aid information. For a lot of first year college students, the paperwork is extremely daunting. Set aside time to go over this with your child, either from home or with someone in the financial aid department at the university. This will not only take added stress off your child but it will give you an opportunity to speak with someone who can explain in detail the different kinds of loans available and how that process works.

      These five things made the transition from home to college living much easier on all of us. I felt more confident in her ability to take care of herself, which made me less of the overbearing, concerned, badgering mother I know I can be. We’re parents, we worry. It’s what we do. Being present without being pushy is what is most important, so that we don’t push so hard that we push them away.

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      Last Updated on October 18, 2018

      50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

      50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

      Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

      It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

      It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

      Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

      Quotes for self-assurance

      1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

        2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

          3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

            4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

              5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                  Quotes about positivity

                  7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                    8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                      9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                        10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                          11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                            12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                              13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                Quotes for work and success

                                14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                  15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                    16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                      17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                        18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                          19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                            20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                              21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                  23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                    24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                      25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                        26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                          27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                            28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                              29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                  31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                    32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                      33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                        34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                          35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                            36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                              37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                  39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                    40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                      41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                        42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                          43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                            44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                              45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                Quotes about money

                                                                                                46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                  47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                    48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                      49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                        50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                          51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                            If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                            How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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