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Why People Who Choose To Leave Bravely Are Really Amazing

Why People Who Choose To Leave Bravely Are Really Amazing

Parting is an all-around difficult endeavor. We don’t want to hurt or disappointment people, and we don’t want to be disappointed. The feelings of rejection can overwhelm the one left behind, even if they corroborate the split. Oftentimes the individual who instigates a breakup has had to overcome incredible personal struggles to make their decision.

The woman who makes the difficult choice to leave is coincidentally, giving herself a great opportunity. When she chooses to leave, she elects to reckon with her sense of self-worth, happiness, and guilt. Hebbard says that the woman who works through the emotions that arise, makes the decision to leave from a place of empowerment.

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Oftentimes, the decision process is a meandering, dialectic one. In other words, we go back and forth on what we think is the right thing to do perhaps several times before we come to a final decision. The fear of leaving what she had was greater than her desire to believe that she was worth better.

We get used to situations, relationships, jobs, and lifestyles and overlook the details about them we dislike the most. Particularly difficult to question are the relationships we’ve outgrown, or that have outgrown us. We might grow tired in our dysfunctional relationships. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we are able to see that we are responsible for our happiness.

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It takes a lot of courage to be honest with oneself. Even when we do manage to see ourselves as accountable for our well-being, we may not be ready to move forward. We’ve invested so much in the job that no longer gives us fulfilment, for example. Leaving it would destabilize our own understanding of ourselves. Choosing to leave is to be willing to let go of our identity, or at least reshape it. Though you might not know how you’ll cope when you lose the parts of yourself that you’ve identified with for so long. This fear alone can be enough to prevent us from change, no matter how dire the situation.

It takes a big heart to face the music and choose to leave. But when you look back later in future, you’ll find that you’re perfectly ok without that, or actually you’re much happier and better living without that.

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It takes true bravery to leave. There’s a lot that must be sacrificed to make a big change; there’s good reason to be fearful. It’s this life-changing moment when we choose to see ourselves with self-compassion that healing is possible. These brave people have helped shape our lives for the better. We can see the evidence when we look back to our pasts, to the substantial turning points where our life paths have taken new trajectories. It’s also important to recognize where we’ve been that individual who’s chosen to leave bravely, and to have compassion for ourselves.

Featured photo credit: Jen Palmer via Unsplash.com via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

Being single can make you weary, especially if you didn't initiate a breakup, it could be easy to get carried away with reminiscing and what-if scenarios. Staying caught up in the past is toxic to your growth, however, and interferes with your ability to move forward. Single life can be self-actualizing and enjoyable, but you need to embrace it first. No matter where you are on your journey in coming to terms with being single, the following 12 fantastic things will happen when you accept it.

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1. You will be more focused.

    Once you start to treasure your new-found freedom, you will realize that taking time for yourself will show you what is most important in your life. Enjoying your single time will make what you want clearer and reveal which areas of your life you should build upon. Additionally, studies show that experiencing something alone results in our brain forming a more clear and longer lasting memory.

    2. You will be more active.

      Studies show that unmarried people are also more fit than their hitched counterparts. Let yourself welcome being single, and use this time to your benefit. You'll be more confident and in control when you do meet someone special.

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      3. You will be more likely to have high goals.

        Being single means you can't settle. In case someone who captures your heart comes along, you need to be at the top of your game. By embracing your time being single, you will be more able to pursue your goals and work towards a more complete, fulfilling future.

        4. You will be more creative.

          Spending time alone is also linked to an increase in creative thinking. Spending more time alone will force you to be a deeper thinker, and could lead you to solutions and projects you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

          5. Your schedule will be your own.

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            Once you get past feeling lonely and realize how wonderful being single is, you will become aware of one of the best perks – your schedule is now completely your own. No longer do you need to have nights out approved, nor will long days at work get interrupted. Relax into loving your single life because nothing is quite as liberating as deciding every moment of your weekly schedule.

            6. You will likely save money.

              Dating is a great way to wave goodbye to all your hard earned cash. When you're with someone, there's nothing more important than impressing them, including your income. However, when the relationship fizzles, you realize how this tactic doesn't pay off. Not only are we more prone to spending when dating, married couples are more likely to have credit card debt than unmarried singles. So don't get depressed when you're eating cheap meals alone – it's really a form of investing in your future!

              7. You won't need to compromise on entertainment.

                Particularly if your significant other tends to have different tastes than you, being single can be a blessing. As soon as you can appreciate being single, you will realize how freeing it is to always watch exactly what you want. There is no longer any need to skimp on your favorite movies, plays, or TV shows that others don't appreciate.

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                8. You will have more time for your family.

                  Another thing you will realize once you learn to relish being single is you now have much more time for family. Especially when it comes to older relatives, time spent with them truly is precious. Make the most of your single time by reconnecting with family members in your life you may have been neglecting.

                  9. You have more time for your friends.

                    Once you start basking in your single glory, you will also find that you have more time for your friends. Not only will increased free time let you reconnect with friends you may have neglected while being half of a couple, studies also show that married people have much weaker social lives than those who are unmarried.

                    10. You will find new haunts in your city.

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                      Once you start to enjoy your single life again you will also find that you have plenty of time to rediscover your city. Where relationships see us fall into the same habit of favorite spots to drink, eat, or dance, when you're on your own you will naturally start to explore fresh venues again.

                      11. You'll find more interests.

                        Similarly, enjoying your time being single will give you more time to consider new hobbies and interests. Instead of repeating the same go-to dates, you can now freely explore activities that really make you passionate.

                        12. You will be more aware of what you want.

                          Ultimately, taking time to ourselves is an important ingredient in discovering what type of person is our ideal match, or what career we can happily commit to. By delighting in your uninhibited life, you are more able to experiment and thereby find out what works for you and what doesn't. Don't look at being single as a drawback, since learning more about yourself and finding out what makes you tick are crucial in forming balanced, healthy relationships in the future.

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