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Why People Who Choose To Leave Bravely Are Really Amazing

Why People Who Choose To Leave Bravely Are Really Amazing

Parting is an all-around difficult endeavor. We don’t want to hurt or disappointment people, and we don’t want to be disappointed. The feelings of rejection can overwhelm the one left behind, even if they corroborate the split. Oftentimes the individual who instigates a breakup has had to overcome incredible personal struggles to make their decision.

The woman who makes the difficult choice to leave is coincidentally, giving herself a great opportunity. When she chooses to leave, she elects to reckon with her sense of self-worth, happiness, and guilt. Hebbard says that the woman who works through the emotions that arise, makes the decision to leave from a place of empowerment.

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Oftentimes, the decision process is a meandering, dialectic one. In other words, we go back and forth on what we think is the right thing to do perhaps several times before we come to a final decision. The fear of leaving what she had was greater than her desire to believe that she was worth better.

We get used to situations, relationships, jobs, and lifestyles and overlook the details about them we dislike the most. Particularly difficult to question are the relationships we’ve outgrown, or that have outgrown us. We might grow tired in our dysfunctional relationships. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we are able to see that we are responsible for our happiness.

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It takes a lot of courage to be honest with oneself. Even when we do manage to see ourselves as accountable for our well-being, we may not be ready to move forward. We’ve invested so much in the job that no longer gives us fulfilment, for example. Leaving it would destabilize our own understanding of ourselves. Choosing to leave is to be willing to let go of our identity, or at least reshape it. Though you might not know how you’ll cope when you lose the parts of yourself that you’ve identified with for so long. This fear alone can be enough to prevent us from change, no matter how dire the situation.

It takes a big heart to face the music and choose to leave. But when you look back later in future, you’ll find that you’re perfectly ok without that, or actually you’re much happier and better living without that.

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It takes true bravery to leave. There’s a lot that must be sacrificed to make a big change; there’s good reason to be fearful. It’s this life-changing moment when we choose to see ourselves with self-compassion that healing is possible. These brave people have helped shape our lives for the better. We can see the evidence when we look back to our pasts, to the substantial turning points where our life paths have taken new trajectories. It’s also important to recognize where we’ve been that individual who’s chosen to leave bravely, and to have compassion for ourselves.

Featured photo credit: Jen Palmer via Unsplash.com via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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