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Why People Who Choose To Leave Bravely Are Really Amazing

Why People Who Choose To Leave Bravely Are Really Amazing

Parting is an all-around difficult endeavor. We don’t want to hurt or disappointment people, and we don’t want to be disappointed. The feelings of rejection can overwhelm the one left behind, even if they corroborate the split. Oftentimes the individual who instigates a breakup has had to overcome incredible personal struggles to make their decision.

The woman who makes the difficult choice to leave is coincidentally, giving herself a great opportunity. When she chooses to leave, she elects to reckon with her sense of self-worth, happiness, and guilt. Hebbard says that the woman who works through the emotions that arise, makes the decision to leave from a place of empowerment.

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Oftentimes, the decision process is a meandering, dialectic one. In other words, we go back and forth on what we think is the right thing to do perhaps several times before we come to a final decision. The fear of leaving what she had was greater than her desire to believe that she was worth better.

We get used to situations, relationships, jobs, and lifestyles and overlook the details about them we dislike the most. Particularly difficult to question are the relationships we’ve outgrown, or that have outgrown us. We might grow tired in our dysfunctional relationships. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we are able to see that we are responsible for our happiness.

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It takes a lot of courage to be honest with oneself. Even when we do manage to see ourselves as accountable for our well-being, we may not be ready to move forward. We’ve invested so much in the job that no longer gives us fulfilment, for example. Leaving it would destabilize our own understanding of ourselves. Choosing to leave is to be willing to let go of our identity, or at least reshape it. Though you might not know how you’ll cope when you lose the parts of yourself that you’ve identified with for so long. This fear alone can be enough to prevent us from change, no matter how dire the situation.

It takes a big heart to face the music and choose to leave. But when you look back later in future, you’ll find that you’re perfectly ok without that, or actually you’re much happier and better living without that.

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It takes true bravery to leave. There’s a lot that must be sacrificed to make a big change; there’s good reason to be fearful. It’s this life-changing moment when we choose to see ourselves with self-compassion that healing is possible. These brave people have helped shape our lives for the better. We can see the evidence when we look back to our pasts, to the substantial turning points where our life paths have taken new trajectories. It’s also important to recognize where we’ve been that individual who’s chosen to leave bravely, and to have compassion for ourselves.

Featured photo credit: Jen Palmer via Unsplash.com via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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