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Why People Who Focus On Improving Themselves Have Better Relationships

Why People Who Focus On Improving Themselves Have Better Relationships

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” ‒ Ernest Hemingway

As Hemingway says, self-improvement is a noble cause. It can help us learning about who we are and this can enable us to strive to be better people in the future. Much of who we are is determined by how we interact with others around us. When we seek to improve ourselves, we can also make our relationships with others better.

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1. The way you view yourself affects how others view you

The way you view yourself affects how others view you. If you have a good self-image, then others are likely to relate to you in a positive way. When looking to better yourself you may wish to build up your self-esteem. If you feel confident, you will radiate poise. When people see a composed and self-assured individual, they are likely to be affected in a positive way. They too may adopt your good feeling, and this can result in a more optimistic and constructive relationship.

2. Aiming For Inner Stability Makes You A More Attractive Friend And Partner

People who radiate inner stability are often liked and admired by others around them. If you sometimes feel that you are internally shaky, you may want to try and strengthen your inner core. You can do this by taking time out during the day for self-reflection. By looking deeply into yourself and examining who you really are you can learn to find what makes you calm and what excites you. By tapping into your calmer self, you can achieve more inner stability.

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3. People like to be around individuals who like and accept themselves

Only once you have accepted who you are can you grow. If you are continuously fighting against yourself, you won’t have the emotional energy you need to better yourself.

If you wish to get on with people better, then you may want to start by accepting yourself. People like to be around individuals who like and accept themselves.

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4. We Attract Who We Are

If you are on a personal trajectory that is going upwards, then you are likely to find a friend or partner who is also seeking to better themselves and their circumstances. Like-minded people attract one another.

5. Relying On Yourself Instead Of Leaning On Your Partner Makes For A Better Relationship

If you are in a relationship maintaining a healthy sense of independence will help to make the relationship strong. If you seek to become more self-reliant then you and your partner will both feel more secure.

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6. When You Improve Yourself, You Minimize Self-Sabotage

When you aim to improve who you are, you steer away from self-sabotage. Focusing on your good qualities and endeavoring to enhance and protect these attributes will not only help you become a better person it will also stop you from undermining yourself. When you stop sabotaging who you are, you are likely to refrain from ruining relationships and this can lead to longer and more meaningful connects with others.

The noble task of self-improvement will not only be good for you but will be also good for those around you. If you work to improve yourself then you will find yourself in more meaningful and stronger relationships with others.

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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