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8 Reasons Traveling Is Always Better Than Dating Someone

8 Reasons Traveling Is Always Better Than Dating Someone
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Dating can be hard and sometimes we feel under pressure to meet that special someone. Perhaps as a single person, you want to go off and create new experiences but feel you should be dating instead. We’re told dating is fun and exciting, which it can be, but what about finding something that gives you so many more unique experiences, allows you to grow and for you to get to know yourself in ways dating and being in a relationship just can’t give you?

If you find you’re single and feel dating isn’t for you right now, then traveling can be the perfect way to enrich your life and provides you with many advantages compared to getting involved with the dating scene. Traveling is a whole different way to build up your character and confidence which will shape you into the person that can be ready for a relationship somewhere down the line. With that in mind, here are 8 reasons why the experience of traveling will benefit you far more than dating.

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1. You Are Free To Create Your Own Experiences

When traveling, you are free to create the itinerary and control how long you stay in each place. Your independent decisions are based on your desires and wants and yours alone. In a relationship, changes can sometimes be out of your control while you are in control of how you create your experience while traveling – whether it’s how long you stay in one place or where you’re going to go to next. You gain a sense of freedom that being in a relationship doesn’t always give you.

2. Traveling Improves Your Mental Health

Traveling opens your mind and carves out new positive experiences that directly benefit your state of mind and happiness levels. Traveling enriches you and adds unique perspectives and strengthens a positive mindset that will transcend for a lifetime. Relationships can be hard work and while there are also positive benefits to a good relationship, dating someone who you’re not truly a match with can bring mental exhaustion and a feeling of unhappiness.

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3. You’re Free To Move From One Place To Another

Relationships can be restricting. There is always another person you have to keep in mind when making any decisions and their ideas and wants may not be the same as yours. Compromise is a must in any relationship but when you’re out there in the big wide world, you have no one to answer to. You’re free to roam how you want to roam without any restrictions from someone else – no consulting, no discussions, you’re in complete control of your journey and you can shape it exactly how you want it to be.

4. You Have The Space To Understand Yourself

Dating can sometimes take away your sense of self especially early on in a relationship. You can easily be subject to the influence of the other person and unknowingly lose yourself in the process. When you’re traveling, you have the space to fully learn about yourself in ways you can’t when closely tied with another person. The experiences you face will allow you to value yourself and even question your own values – it gives you a unique insight into how you react and adapt to different situations and people you meet.

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5. You Learn Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely

Relationships and dating can mean we’re very reliant on the other person being around. When they’re not, it can induce feelings of loneliness such is our adaptation to someone outside of ourselves. You also hear how people in bad relationships can feel lonely despite being in the same room as their significant other. With traveling you truly learn how to be alone and you realize it doesn’t mean you are lonely. Traveling can restore your faith in humanity when you realise just how many wonderful people you are surrounded by and are eager and willing to help you and establish friendships. Sometimes relationships can keep you in a bubble that stops you from really experiencing the positives of being alone and the freedom of knowing it doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

6. You Learn To Solve Problems By Yourself

Traveling can be a steep learning curve and sometimes you have to make decisions on the spot or solve any quandaries that may arise. It’s an amazing way to build your confidence and show yourself just what you’re made of. Being in a relationship can often mean depending on someone else to sort out problems or at least help you out which takes away that character-building aspect that will go on to benefit you through life.

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7. You Learn Life Is Full Of Possibilities

Traveling exposes you to all sorts of surprises and possibilities – it really is an exciting and eye-opening experience so why choose this over being restricted by one person? Relationships can be good but they can inadvertently stop you from gaining all these amazing opportunities that you wouldn’t even be aware of if you didn’t pursue traveling. Going off and exploring the world teaches you many more things than staying at home and living your life with someone especially when you’re young.

8. You Can Just Enjoy The Moment Without Worries

Traveling is one big journey full of wondrous moments that you can just breathe in without a care in the world. There’s no pressure to think about the future or the past – you are truly living in the present moment – the only way to be completely happy. In relationships we tend to get caught up in everyday worries about finances or plans that are only magnified with another person in the mix. Being by yourself and drinking in the experiences each moment gives you, is much more easily absorbed and appreciated.

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Whatever age you are or stage in life you’re at, do what makes you happy. If happiness is packing your life into a rucksack and taking off for adventures far and wide then definitely do it with intention and lack of worry. Remember, you are capable of forming relationships anywhere and at anytime, so never feel restricted or afraid to do it alone and relationship-free.

Featured photo credit: stokpic.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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