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8 Reasons Traveling Is Always Better Than Dating Someone

8 Reasons Traveling Is Always Better Than Dating Someone

Dating can be hard and sometimes we feel under pressure to meet that special someone. Perhaps as a single person, you want to go off and create new experiences but feel you should be dating instead. We’re told dating is fun and exciting, which it can be, but what about finding something that gives you so many more unique experiences, allows you to grow and for you to get to know yourself in ways dating and being in a relationship just can’t give you?

If you find you’re single and feel dating isn’t for you right now, then traveling can be the perfect way to enrich your life and provides you with many advantages compared to getting involved with the dating scene. Traveling is a whole different way to build up your character and confidence which will shape you into the person that can be ready for a relationship somewhere down the line. With that in mind, here are 8 reasons why the experience of traveling will benefit you far more than dating.

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1. You Are Free To Create Your Own Experiences

When traveling, you are free to create the itinerary and control how long you stay in each place. Your independent decisions are based on your desires and wants and yours alone. In a relationship, changes can sometimes be out of your control while you are in control of how you create your experience while traveling – whether it’s how long you stay in one place or where you’re going to go to next. You gain a sense of freedom that being in a relationship doesn’t always give you.

2. Traveling Improves Your Mental Health

Traveling opens your mind and carves out new positive experiences that directly benefit your state of mind and happiness levels. Traveling enriches you and adds unique perspectives and strengthens a positive mindset that will transcend for a lifetime. Relationships can be hard work and while there are also positive benefits to a good relationship, dating someone who you’re not truly a match with can bring mental exhaustion and a feeling of unhappiness.

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3. You’re Free To Move From One Place To Another

Relationships can be restricting. There is always another person you have to keep in mind when making any decisions and their ideas and wants may not be the same as yours. Compromise is a must in any relationship but when you’re out there in the big wide world, you have no one to answer to. You’re free to roam how you want to roam without any restrictions from someone else – no consulting, no discussions, you’re in complete control of your journey and you can shape it exactly how you want it to be.

4. You Have The Space To Understand Yourself

Dating can sometimes take away your sense of self especially early on in a relationship. You can easily be subject to the influence of the other person and unknowingly lose yourself in the process. When you’re traveling, you have the space to fully learn about yourself in ways you can’t when closely tied with another person. The experiences you face will allow you to value yourself and even question your own values – it gives you a unique insight into how you react and adapt to different situations and people you meet.

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5. You Learn Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely

Relationships and dating can mean we’re very reliant on the other person being around. When they’re not, it can induce feelings of loneliness such is our adaptation to someone outside of ourselves. You also hear how people in bad relationships can feel lonely despite being in the same room as their significant other. With traveling you truly learn how to be alone and you realize it doesn’t mean you are lonely. Traveling can restore your faith in humanity when you realise just how many wonderful people you are surrounded by and are eager and willing to help you and establish friendships. Sometimes relationships can keep you in a bubble that stops you from really experiencing the positives of being alone and the freedom of knowing it doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

6. You Learn To Solve Problems By Yourself

Traveling can be a steep learning curve and sometimes you have to make decisions on the spot or solve any quandaries that may arise. It’s an amazing way to build your confidence and show yourself just what you’re made of. Being in a relationship can often mean depending on someone else to sort out problems or at least help you out which takes away that character-building aspect that will go on to benefit you through life.

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7. You Learn Life Is Full Of Possibilities

Traveling exposes you to all sorts of surprises and possibilities – it really is an exciting and eye-opening experience so why choose this over being restricted by one person? Relationships can be good but they can inadvertently stop you from gaining all these amazing opportunities that you wouldn’t even be aware of if you didn’t pursue traveling. Going off and exploring the world teaches you many more things than staying at home and living your life with someone especially when you’re young.

8. You Can Just Enjoy The Moment Without Worries

Traveling is one big journey full of wondrous moments that you can just breathe in without a care in the world. There’s no pressure to think about the future or the past – you are truly living in the present moment – the only way to be completely happy. In relationships we tend to get caught up in everyday worries about finances or plans that are only magnified with another person in the mix. Being by yourself and drinking in the experiences each moment gives you, is much more easily absorbed and appreciated.

Whatever age you are or stage in life you’re at, do what makes you happy. If happiness is packing your life into a rucksack and taking off for adventures far and wide then definitely do it with intention and lack of worry. Remember, you are capable of forming relationships anywhere and at anytime, so never feel restricted or afraid to do it alone and relationship-free.

Featured photo credit: stokpic.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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