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8 Reasons Traveling Is Always Better Than Dating Someone

8 Reasons Traveling Is Always Better Than Dating Someone

Dating can be hard and sometimes we feel under pressure to meet that special someone. Perhaps as a single person, you want to go off and create new experiences but feel you should be dating instead. We’re told dating is fun and exciting, which it can be, but what about finding something that gives you so many more unique experiences, allows you to grow and for you to get to know yourself in ways dating and being in a relationship just can’t give you?

If you find you’re single and feel dating isn’t for you right now, then traveling can be the perfect way to enrich your life and provides you with many advantages compared to getting involved with the dating scene. Traveling is a whole different way to build up your character and confidence which will shape you into the person that can be ready for a relationship somewhere down the line. With that in mind, here are 8 reasons why the experience of traveling will benefit you far more than dating.

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1. You Are Free To Create Your Own Experiences

When traveling, you are free to create the itinerary and control how long you stay in each place. Your independent decisions are based on your desires and wants and yours alone. In a relationship, changes can sometimes be out of your control while you are in control of how you create your experience while traveling – whether it’s how long you stay in one place or where you’re going to go to next. You gain a sense of freedom that being in a relationship doesn’t always give you.

2. Traveling Improves Your Mental Health

Traveling opens your mind and carves out new positive experiences that directly benefit your state of mind and happiness levels. Traveling enriches you and adds unique perspectives and strengthens a positive mindset that will transcend for a lifetime. Relationships can be hard work and while there are also positive benefits to a good relationship, dating someone who you’re not truly a match with can bring mental exhaustion and a feeling of unhappiness.

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3. You’re Free To Move From One Place To Another

Relationships can be restricting. There is always another person you have to keep in mind when making any decisions and their ideas and wants may not be the same as yours. Compromise is a must in any relationship but when you’re out there in the big wide world, you have no one to answer to. You’re free to roam how you want to roam without any restrictions from someone else – no consulting, no discussions, you’re in complete control of your journey and you can shape it exactly how you want it to be.

4. You Have The Space To Understand Yourself

Dating can sometimes take away your sense of self especially early on in a relationship. You can easily be subject to the influence of the other person and unknowingly lose yourself in the process. When you’re traveling, you have the space to fully learn about yourself in ways you can’t when closely tied with another person. The experiences you face will allow you to value yourself and even question your own values – it gives you a unique insight into how you react and adapt to different situations and people you meet.

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5. You Learn Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely

Relationships and dating can mean we’re very reliant on the other person being around. When they’re not, it can induce feelings of loneliness such is our adaptation to someone outside of ourselves. You also hear how people in bad relationships can feel lonely despite being in the same room as their significant other. With traveling you truly learn how to be alone and you realize it doesn’t mean you are lonely. Traveling can restore your faith in humanity when you realise just how many wonderful people you are surrounded by and are eager and willing to help you and establish friendships. Sometimes relationships can keep you in a bubble that stops you from really experiencing the positives of being alone and the freedom of knowing it doesn’t mean you’re lonely.

6. You Learn To Solve Problems By Yourself

Traveling can be a steep learning curve and sometimes you have to make decisions on the spot or solve any quandaries that may arise. It’s an amazing way to build your confidence and show yourself just what you’re made of. Being in a relationship can often mean depending on someone else to sort out problems or at least help you out which takes away that character-building aspect that will go on to benefit you through life.

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7. You Learn Life Is Full Of Possibilities

Traveling exposes you to all sorts of surprises and possibilities – it really is an exciting and eye-opening experience so why choose this over being restricted by one person? Relationships can be good but they can inadvertently stop you from gaining all these amazing opportunities that you wouldn’t even be aware of if you didn’t pursue traveling. Going off and exploring the world teaches you many more things than staying at home and living your life with someone especially when you’re young.

8. You Can Just Enjoy The Moment Without Worries

Traveling is one big journey full of wondrous moments that you can just breathe in without a care in the world. There’s no pressure to think about the future or the past – you are truly living in the present moment – the only way to be completely happy. In relationships we tend to get caught up in everyday worries about finances or plans that are only magnified with another person in the mix. Being by yourself and drinking in the experiences each moment gives you, is much more easily absorbed and appreciated.

Whatever age you are or stage in life you’re at, do what makes you happy. If happiness is packing your life into a rucksack and taking off for adventures far and wide then definitely do it with intention and lack of worry. Remember, you are capable of forming relationships anywhere and at anytime, so never feel restricted or afraid to do it alone and relationship-free.

Featured photo credit: stokpic.com via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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