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Here’s What No One Tells You About Being An Extroverted Introvert

Here’s What No One Tells You About Being An Extroverted Introvert

Are people confused whether you’re an extrovert or introvert? When you’re out enjoying your social life the world buzzes around you. You have fun and you do what excited and stimulates you with friends. Everyone likes to unwind after a long day, but your mind and body require it more than most.

Who is the extroverted introvert? The person who at some point, sooner than later, has to withdraw. An extroverted introvert people need alone time. If you’re an extroverted introvert who examine your life, then you know yourself. You would prefer that the people you interact with, know themselves just as well.

1. You don’t enjoy the spotlight but you appreciate recognition.

Going out for social interactions is like rolling the dice. It’s either great times ahead, you feel withdrawn, or even drained of your energy. So for this reason you become choosy about who you spend your time with.

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When an extroverted introvert hasn’t been hanging out with their friends lately, it’s likely because they’re overstimulated. They’ve filled their physical environment and mind with what they have the capacity to handle.

2. You enjoy getting to know just one person but you also enjoy a big group of friends.

Your introverted friend who can be the life of the party has to exert more energy than you might think. It’s easy to get this personality type confused with a full on extrovert when they’re being highly sociable. Spend enough time with this person and you’ll learn that some days, they’re withdrawn.

You might be able to spot the extroverted introvert, the one who shies away from small talk. Big ideas and creative conversations might be more comfortable. It’s also more comfortable to hang out with people incrementally.

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3. You really need alone time but you do get lonely sometimes.

You’re an introvert deep down inside, but you tend to attract extroverts. The psychoanalyst Carl Jung believed that this was due to a deep attraction to complete each other’s personality types.

Extroverted introverts are like chameleons, changing as needed in the environment. You could call it having an edge. Watch out for the quiet one, as they say.

4. Sometimes you don’t want to talk, but you can suddenly become talkative.

You’re an extroverted introvert and you don’t want to explain who you are. You don’t feel like having the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation. No matter how much you love the people you connect with, you still need to be alone at some point.

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Your alone time is an enjoyable fate. After you dazzle your friends in social environments you draw comfortably into your shell. Some people will never understand that the shell is there not to keep others out, but to hold all that is you together.

5. You embrace being an introvert, but sometimes doubt if you should be more extroverted.

As a special breed of extrovert you do quite a bit of self reflection. Thus, you know yourself really well. You’re not quiet because you’re lost, confused, or at a loss for words.

You speak when it’s most important because requires energy from you. In fact, you’re filled with thoughts and it’s only a matter of which you’ll give attention to. You know yourself well and you limit your interactions with others. So, when you do spend time, it’s valuable.

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6. You’re happy some events are canceled, although you’ll have a great time if you go.

Sometimes the mere thought of over-stimulation is enough to make you overstimulated. If you’re feeling like today is a hang out with myself kind of day, you may be reluctant to go out. You’re not anti-social, you just have your moods. Knowing that your mood can change, it’s a likely that you’ll have a great time once you get into the groove of things.

7. You like exploring new sides of an old friend or simply meeting new people.

You may feel that you can always know someone more intimately no matter how many years you’ve known them. You enjoy uncovering the more sophisticated thoughts of your closest friends. It’s also a pleasure to meet completely new people who know nothing about you.

8. You’re comfortable, from being in coffee houses to loud concerts.

Those who try to call you out and say you’re not being yourself just don’t know you very well. Why does your disposition vary so greatly from day to day? You have your moments. Sometimes you feel socially elite. Other days, you seek intense mental stimulation.

Your thoughts may become so intense that it fills your own mental capacity. At these times, small talk feels like chatter and you want to be more respectful to your intellect. You’re not purposefully trying to go against the flow. You just have your own body of water that flows independently.

Some people may not be able to understand how much you can vary from time to time. A person observing your free time at the beginning of the week may find you nestled in working at a coffee shop. Yet, the very next day, you could be shouting with delight at a concert. The key to being able to jump from one situation to the next is being comfortable within yourself.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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