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Next Time Before Saying “I Love You”, Think If You Have These 6 Things In Mind

Next Time Before Saying “I Love You”, Think If You Have These 6 Things In Mind

To say I love you to someone special in your life can come easier to some than others, but it ultimately shows your feelings and commitment in that loving relationship. Whatever your journey in the love stakes, there comes a time when you feel ready to say those three little words but are you saying them too quickly in the relationship? How do you know you truly love the person? Do you go with your heart or your head?

Falling in love is a journey and saying I love you can mean different things at different stages in relationships. Whether it’s the first or the hundredth time you’ve said it, next time you utter those words I love you to someone, ask yourself if you have these things in mind.

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1. Check Your Motivation

This isn’t implying that you’re being manipulative, but depending on how the words I love you have influenced us in the past can determine why we say it. For some people saying I love you can actually mean ‘I need you’ or ‘I want you’ due to underlying low self-esteem or self-worth. It can come easily when you’re in the whirlwind and excitement of a budding romance and your heart and head seem to come together in one big mix of emotions.

Next time you say I love you, sit back and check why you’re saying these words and ask yourself if you truly mean them the way they are meant to mean. This isn’t to say you won’t love the person at some point down the line, but you owe it to yourself and them to say it with true meaning.

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2. Do You Accept Their Genuine Side?

To be in love with someone, you should know their genuine side and accept it. This will be a side that not everyone gets to see and could involve all sorts of issues and insecurities. If you see this side to them and still feel warmth and affection, and even makes you love them even more, then saying I love you is contributing your genuine side to the mix as well.

3. You’ve Been Through The Wars and Still Love Them

Relationships have their ups and downs and you get to see your partner in all sorts of lights both good and bad. We often see sides of people that aren’t the best. Ask yourself, can you still feel deep love for that person at their worst and be able to say I love you? Or do you find it difficult to see why you love them? Lots of situations can test a relationship — some that are out of our control and it’s these times that can really show us how deep our love can go. Saying these three words means accepting the person for who they are — warts and all — and loving them regardless.

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4. You Don’t Pass Judgment

Whatever your partner has done and whatever their deepest darkest secrets are, you don’t pass any judgment. This shows sincerity and true heartfelt affection for your partner that warrants an I love you. The people you love will feel even more loved by you because your intention to love is conscious and clear.

5. How Often Do You Say ‘I Love You’?

Sometimes saying I love you, although meant in a sincere way, can be overused. It can just become a daily habit with no real thought behind the words. If you find yourself saying it a lot without really thinking about it then ask yourself if you’re truly meaning it. This isn’t to say that you don’t, and saying it often is important, however, check in from time to time to see how sincere and genuine your words are. Putting meaning and thought behind them can keep you realizing your depth of feeling.

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6. ‘I Love You’ Can Also Mean Appreciation And Thankfulness

In some situations, saying I love you can actually mean thank you or shows that you appreciate your partner. It’s gratitude and recognition for all that your partner does for you and almost thanking them for being there for you, allowing you to be yourself and accepting you. It’s a mutual understanding that’s the both of you telling each other that you’re there and committed to the relationship — you’re not trying to get something or wearing a mask, it’s a way of saying the relationship really means something to you.

Whatever stage of a relationship you’re in, it’s important to sit back and think about the meaning behind your words. If anything, it’s to really get you thinking about the reasons why you love them and why you tell them this instead of forming a habit of saying I love you as an automatic phrase. Acknowledging the love is important but putting meaning behind it can keep you focused on all the wonderful reasons why love exists in your relationship in the first place.

Featured photo credit: freestocks.org via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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