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Next Time Before Saying “I Love You”, Think If You Have These 6 Things In Mind

Next Time Before Saying “I Love You”, Think If You Have These 6 Things In Mind

To say I love you to someone special in your life can come easier to some than others, but it ultimately shows your feelings and commitment in that loving relationship. Whatever your journey in the love stakes, there comes a time when you feel ready to say those three little words but are you saying them too quickly in the relationship? How do you know you truly love the person? Do you go with your heart or your head?

Falling in love is a journey and saying I love you can mean different things at different stages in relationships. Whether it’s the first or the hundredth time you’ve said it, next time you utter those words I love you to someone, ask yourself if you have these things in mind.

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1. Check Your Motivation

This isn’t implying that you’re being manipulative, but depending on how the words I love you have influenced us in the past can determine why we say it. For some people saying I love you can actually mean ‘I need you’ or ‘I want you’ due to underlying low self-esteem or self-worth. It can come easily when you’re in the whirlwind and excitement of a budding romance and your heart and head seem to come together in one big mix of emotions.

Next time you say I love you, sit back and check why you’re saying these words and ask yourself if you truly mean them the way they are meant to mean. This isn’t to say you won’t love the person at some point down the line, but you owe it to yourself and them to say it with true meaning.

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2. Do You Accept Their Genuine Side?

To be in love with someone, you should know their genuine side and accept it. This will be a side that not everyone gets to see and could involve all sorts of issues and insecurities. If you see this side to them and still feel warmth and affection, and even makes you love them even more, then saying I love you is contributing your genuine side to the mix as well.

3. You’ve Been Through The Wars and Still Love Them

Relationships have their ups and downs and you get to see your partner in all sorts of lights both good and bad. We often see sides of people that aren’t the best. Ask yourself, can you still feel deep love for that person at their worst and be able to say I love you? Or do you find it difficult to see why you love them? Lots of situations can test a relationship — some that are out of our control and it’s these times that can really show us how deep our love can go. Saying these three words means accepting the person for who they are — warts and all — and loving them regardless.

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4. You Don’t Pass Judgment

Whatever your partner has done and whatever their deepest darkest secrets are, you don’t pass any judgment. This shows sincerity and true heartfelt affection for your partner that warrants an I love you. The people you love will feel even more loved by you because your intention to love is conscious and clear.

5. How Often Do You Say ‘I Love You’?

Sometimes saying I love you, although meant in a sincere way, can be overused. It can just become a daily habit with no real thought behind the words. If you find yourself saying it a lot without really thinking about it then ask yourself if you’re truly meaning it. This isn’t to say that you don’t, and saying it often is important, however, check in from time to time to see how sincere and genuine your words are. Putting meaning and thought behind them can keep you realizing your depth of feeling.

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6. ‘I Love You’ Can Also Mean Appreciation And Thankfulness

In some situations, saying I love you can actually mean thank you or shows that you appreciate your partner. It’s gratitude and recognition for all that your partner does for you and almost thanking them for being there for you, allowing you to be yourself and accepting you. It’s a mutual understanding that’s the both of you telling each other that you’re there and committed to the relationship — you’re not trying to get something or wearing a mask, it’s a way of saying the relationship really means something to you.

Whatever stage of a relationship you’re in, it’s important to sit back and think about the meaning behind your words. If anything, it’s to really get you thinking about the reasons why you love them and why you tell them this instead of forming a habit of saying I love you as an automatic phrase. Acknowledging the love is important but putting meaning behind it can keep you focused on all the wonderful reasons why love exists in your relationship in the first place.

Featured photo credit: freestocks.org via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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