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Five Ways To Maintain Happiness

Five Ways To Maintain Happiness

Happiness isn’t necessarily challenging, but many people make it out to be. Anybody who is reading this post has free access to knowledge, which is absolutely free. Sure, we experience hardships and adversity, but if you compare it to children who have no access to clean water to bathe or drink, food to eat, clothing or shelter, then you’ll realize your problems always have a defined solution. Learn how to rationalize and use deductive logic; these tools will help you overcome any adversity that you may face. When misfortunes fall upon us, they are due to our wrongdoings; they don’t apply to anybody else. Be held accountable for what you do and only blame yourself.

Handle Your Responsibilities

Bills are a part of life, and we all wish they paid for themselves–but they won’t. These tasks mentioned are small potatoes on the scale of responsibilities. Handling your labor is important, but looking after your health is number one. The first path on the way to being disciplined is being conscious of what you put into your body. Dietary habits play a huge part in your emotional stability. The quote you are what you eat is one of the truest statements of life. You could be aesthetically pleasing to others eyes, but eat horribly, which may cause you to be irritable and moody.

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Love Yourself More Every Single Day

Sometimes you need to be a little selfish–which implies you aren’t considering others; this isn’t true. Everyone needs to dedicate time to themselves. Solitude doesn’t only increase productivity and focus, but it helps you reflect on what’s happening in your life. Self-discovery is a resource you need to tap into every day. And if you aren’t willing to love yourself, then you won’t be capable of discovering yourself. Enjoy who you are, and devote the same amount of love you give to others to yourself. Happiness is only achieved by being sure of yourself, and recognizing when things are starting to go sour. Once the warning signs are addressed, you will alleviate your stress.

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Be Honest With Yourself

It’s commendable and respectable not to lie to others. What is that even worth if you’re constantly lying to yourself? The answer is absolutely nothing. Face the reality of what you’re going up against and fight. And when you aren’t experiencing adversity or turmoil, be thankful for the peaceful times, and understand your mentality is what makes or breaks you. If you’re truly happy, then being at peace during the rough times is possible with the correct perspective. Just ensure you’re well aware of your environment and love the good times and the bad. For a rainbow to exude its beauty, the storm must pass.

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Live In The Moment

Every moment is fleeting, and our time on this earth is short. Everything that we experience is only temporary; nothing lasts forever. Focus on the now, and what you can do to enhance the situation to workout in your favor. Getting comfortable during times of peace isn’t a suitable practice. Letting your guard down isn’t necessary. Always ascertain the beauty of every moment, and build for the future today.

Honor Your Family

These individuals don’t have to be blood-related. This really means anyone who genuinely cares about your well-being (which won’t be a lot of people), because those who truly care have to know who you are. And most people won’t truly know you, they just have an opinion and know about you. Look after them at all costs, spend time with them, and enjoy each others company. This level of companionship is insurmountable and infinitely precious.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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