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How To Show Your Love For Animals Effectively!

How To Show Your Love For Animals Effectively!

I love animals and especially my cats, Ophelia and Siren. These feelings pulled me to help out at my local cat shelter. It broke my heart to see homeless cats out on the street, and it felt great to go to the shelter and play with rescued cats. I donated to the cat shelter, knowing it would help even more animals in need.

It’s very natural for us to show our love for animals this way. Our brains are wired to pay attention to our immediate environment. Now, there was a nagging voice at the back of my head that told me that animals endure suffering around the world. However, I shunted away that voice whenever it began to grow loud and told myself that I was doing the best thing I could to help animals.

Yet when I talked to my friend Marsha, a fellow volunteer at the cat shelter with years of experience, she pointed out that even though I was already doing a lot to help these cats, I could use my time and money to help many more animals, and feel even better about my impact.

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A Dilemma

She posed an ethical dilemma: Say I was walking to work and saw a kitten drowning in a pond – deep enough to leave me soaking wet, but shallow enough to not pose a more serious threat. But, the kitten is in urgent need of help, and saving that kitten would ruin my smartphone. Would I dive in to save her?

Imagining my cats, my intuitive gut reaction was “Of course!” I wouldn’t even hesitate.

Using that intuitive response, Marsha highlighted that my emotional self was clearly committed to animal welfare. She pointed out that there are many animals right now whose lives I could save for much less than the cost of my smartphone (for example, by donating to the right animal charity). And this would even cost much less time and money than I was putting into the cat shelter.

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This adaptation of Peter Singer’s famous thought experiment made me realize I could do much more to help animals. My actions could have been hundreds of times more impactful if I used my resources as effectively as possible. Wasn’t it clear to me, as an animal lover, that effectiveness is what animals deserve? If I could help more animals with the same money and time, why wouldn’t I do it? What could I say to the animals I didn’t help? “Sorry, but I don’t care about you because I can’t see you in front of me?”

Questioning My Perspective

I still felt conflicted. I knew what Marsha said made sense, but it was tough to accept. If nothing else, I just really enjoyed stroking the cats at the cat shelter. Marsha said she understood my perspective, as she has a cat herself. She thought about this question deeply in the past, and decided to split her volunteering and her donations in order to balance her own well-being and happiness, and do the most good for the world at the same time.

She spends most of her time volunteering for the local cat shelter. She also does small actions that help larger numbers of animals for a few minutes each week in-between other tasks.

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However, she intentionally sends her donations to the most effective charities. These are charities that have been evaluated to have the most impact per dollar. After all, the animal shelter gets plenty of donations from people who don’t have her more effective giving perspective, and donating wouldn’t give the same personal satisfaction as volunteering at the shelter.

She donates based on the recommendations of Animal Charity Evaluators, a nonprofit organization that offers in-depth evaluations of the most effective animal advocacy charities. It has recommended The Humane League, Mercy For Animals, and Animal Equality, and you can see its current top picks here.

Updating My Beliefs

This plan of action made a lot of sense to me, and I made a conscious effort to update my beliefs and actions based on new evidence. I started donating to the three charities recommended by ACE, as well as ACE itself, so that it could continue conducting research and providing advice to advocates on behalf of the broader field of animal rights.

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At the same time, I continue to volunteer at the cat shelter. Being with those wonderful, furry balls of love helps motivate my animal advocacy and fill my heart with the desire to do good for animals everywhere. Now I truly have it all – I’m able to both spend time with cats in the shelter while making a much larger impact on addressing animal suffering through my donations to effective charities.

Featured photo credit: Doria Morrel/Flickr via flickr.com

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Dr. Gleb Tsipursky

President and Co-Founder at Intentional Insights; Disaster Avoidance Consultant

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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