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An Open Letter To My Future Daughter On How Full of Worth She Is

An Open Letter To My Future Daughter On How Full of Worth She Is

Hello my love,

Today I’m writing to you because I want you to know how much I love and care for you, and how I want the best that this life can offer for you – physically, emotionally and yes, spiritually. I have seen too much heartache in this short amount of time that I have been on this earth and I hope and pray that you will not be a victim to it.

Today I wish to bestow a bit of wisdom and knowledge towards you – wisdom and knowledge I wish I knew when I was growing up. There is a wise saying that points out that you have to be the person you needed when you were younger and today I want to be that person for you. A strong, independent, confident and yes, worthy human being. I am worthy. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion and I really hope that it doesn’t take you that long. We are worthy.

Don’t let society make your decisions.

Darling, I find myself in a society in which women – despite their so-called equality and independence – are dictated on what to wear, what to look like and what to act like. When you are part of the crowd, you don’t notice your minion-like behavior in order to receive acceptance. However, once the scales fall off of your eyes, you see not only the frustration of keeping up to this social standard, but also the pain and the torment each girl or woman goes through while pretending to be something she is not.

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For who and for what? A man who’s attention spam on you lasts no longer than a few minutes, until the next sexier, more willing girl comes along? Forcing you to make a decision: Do I walk away or do I throw myself further down this dark pit of a dictated standard?

The pain I see in girls no older than 13 scare me, because I know that one day you will be faced with the same kind of pressure they are faced with, and how can I possibly prepare you for those pressures? The pressures are everywhere from magazines, to kids television channels, to schools and every other system you can possibly think of out there.

The best I can do is to tell you each and every day that you are worthy. You are worthy of true love and affection, you are worthy of acceptance for the beautiful person that you are – the world is quick to say they accept you for your individuality, but we see so many people succumb to the ideal picture society compels us to be, with no thought as to how this ruins our identity and eventually our feelings of worth in this life.

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You are perfect in your individuality.

I want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong or ‘faulty’ with who you are and what you look like – you are fearfully and wonderfully made with an impenetrable light inside you. That light is your individuality and that is your invincible strength – don’t allow any one, no man nor woman to kill that light.

Allow that light to become a blazing fire igniting all those who are blessed to be in your company. Without a thought to it, give others permission to be themselves. It is in this freedom that you and those around you will be able to experience a peace and stillness this world is chasing but has no idea where to find.

My love, live your life and live it authentically – only then will you find true happiness. Be careful not to judge those who submit to pressure, but be the guiding light that helps them out of that pain and confusion. The world can be a nasty place that brings a lot of pain and torment, but it can also be a beautiful place that brings a lot of healing and love – it all depends on how you choose to look at it.

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I believe Denzel Washington said it best: “At the end of the day it is not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished…It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.”

The society I find myself in is very self-involved and perhaps that is one of the reasons we so easily fall victim to all the ugly onslaughts of this world. We don’t know that we are worth more than that slap on our butt, worth more than those desperate touches and yes, worth more than those tainted tears we cry every time we are abandoned or rejected. It is time to remember that we all are stars born from the universe, human beings with a light and a purpose – it is time to live it!

I love you, all of you…

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Your future Loving Mother

Featured photo credit: Bethany Menzel via thisonesforyoublog.com

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Bianca Gouws

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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