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An Open Letter To My Future Daughter On How Full of Worth She Is

An Open Letter To My Future Daughter On How Full of Worth She Is

Hello my love,

Today I’m writing to you because I want you to know how much I love and care for you, and how I want the best that this life can offer for you – physically, emotionally and yes, spiritually. I have seen too much heartache in this short amount of time that I have been on this earth and I hope and pray that you will not be a victim to it.

Today I wish to bestow a bit of wisdom and knowledge towards you – wisdom and knowledge I wish I knew when I was growing up. There is a wise saying that points out that you have to be the person you needed when you were younger and today I want to be that person for you. A strong, independent, confident and yes, worthy human being. I am worthy. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion and I really hope that it doesn’t take you that long. We are worthy.

Don’t let society make your decisions.

Darling, I find myself in a society in which women – despite their so-called equality and independence – are dictated on what to wear, what to look like and what to act like. When you are part of the crowd, you don’t notice your minion-like behavior in order to receive acceptance. However, once the scales fall off of your eyes, you see not only the frustration of keeping up to this social standard, but also the pain and the torment each girl or woman goes through while pretending to be something she is not.

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For who and for what? A man who’s attention spam on you lasts no longer than a few minutes, until the next sexier, more willing girl comes along? Forcing you to make a decision: Do I walk away or do I throw myself further down this dark pit of a dictated standard?

The pain I see in girls no older than 13 scare me, because I know that one day you will be faced with the same kind of pressure they are faced with, and how can I possibly prepare you for those pressures? The pressures are everywhere from magazines, to kids television channels, to schools and every other system you can possibly think of out there.

The best I can do is to tell you each and every day that you are worthy. You are worthy of true love and affection, you are worthy of acceptance for the beautiful person that you are – the world is quick to say they accept you for your individuality, but we see so many people succumb to the ideal picture society compels us to be, with no thought as to how this ruins our identity and eventually our feelings of worth in this life.

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You are perfect in your individuality.

I want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong or ‘faulty’ with who you are and what you look like – you are fearfully and wonderfully made with an impenetrable light inside you. That light is your individuality and that is your invincible strength – don’t allow any one, no man nor woman to kill that light.

Allow that light to become a blazing fire igniting all those who are blessed to be in your company. Without a thought to it, give others permission to be themselves. It is in this freedom that you and those around you will be able to experience a peace and stillness this world is chasing but has no idea where to find.

My love, live your life and live it authentically – only then will you find true happiness. Be careful not to judge those who submit to pressure, but be the guiding light that helps them out of that pain and confusion. The world can be a nasty place that brings a lot of pain and torment, but it can also be a beautiful place that brings a lot of healing and love – it all depends on how you choose to look at it.

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I believe Denzel Washington said it best: “At the end of the day it is not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished…It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.”

The society I find myself in is very self-involved and perhaps that is one of the reasons we so easily fall victim to all the ugly onslaughts of this world. We don’t know that we are worth more than that slap on our butt, worth more than those desperate touches and yes, worth more than those tainted tears we cry every time we are abandoned or rejected. It is time to remember that we all are stars born from the universe, human beings with a light and a purpose – it is time to live it!

I love you, all of you…

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Your future Loving Mother

Featured photo credit: Bethany Menzel via thisonesforyoublog.com

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Bianca Gouws

Freelance Writer, Director and Actress

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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