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An Open Letter To My Future Daughter On How Full of Worth She Is

An Open Letter To My Future Daughter On How Full of Worth She Is

Hello my love,

Today I’m writing to you because I want you to know how much I love and care for you, and how I want the best that this life can offer for you – physically, emotionally and yes, spiritually. I have seen too much heartache in this short amount of time that I have been on this earth and I hope and pray that you will not be a victim to it.

Today I wish to bestow a bit of wisdom and knowledge towards you – wisdom and knowledge I wish I knew when I was growing up. There is a wise saying that points out that you have to be the person you needed when you were younger and today I want to be that person for you. A strong, independent, confident and yes, worthy human being. I am worthy. It took me a long time to come to this conclusion and I really hope that it doesn’t take you that long. We are worthy.

Don’t let society make your decisions.

Darling, I find myself in a society in which women – despite their so-called equality and independence – are dictated on what to wear, what to look like and what to act like. When you are part of the crowd, you don’t notice your minion-like behavior in order to receive acceptance. However, once the scales fall off of your eyes, you see not only the frustration of keeping up to this social standard, but also the pain and the torment each girl or woman goes through while pretending to be something she is not.

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For who and for what? A man who’s attention spam on you lasts no longer than a few minutes, until the next sexier, more willing girl comes along? Forcing you to make a decision: Do I walk away or do I throw myself further down this dark pit of a dictated standard?

The pain I see in girls no older than 13 scare me, because I know that one day you will be faced with the same kind of pressure they are faced with, and how can I possibly prepare you for those pressures? The pressures are everywhere from magazines, to kids television channels, to schools and every other system you can possibly think of out there.

The best I can do is to tell you each and every day that you are worthy. You are worthy of true love and affection, you are worthy of acceptance for the beautiful person that you are – the world is quick to say they accept you for your individuality, but we see so many people succumb to the ideal picture society compels us to be, with no thought as to how this ruins our identity and eventually our feelings of worth in this life.

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You are perfect in your individuality.

I want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong or ‘faulty’ with who you are and what you look like – you are fearfully and wonderfully made with an impenetrable light inside you. That light is your individuality and that is your invincible strength – don’t allow any one, no man nor woman to kill that light.

Allow that light to become a blazing fire igniting all those who are blessed to be in your company. Without a thought to it, give others permission to be themselves. It is in this freedom that you and those around you will be able to experience a peace and stillness this world is chasing but has no idea where to find.

My love, live your life and live it authentically – only then will you find true happiness. Be careful not to judge those who submit to pressure, but be the guiding light that helps them out of that pain and confusion. The world can be a nasty place that brings a lot of pain and torment, but it can also be a beautiful place that brings a lot of healing and love – it all depends on how you choose to look at it.

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I believe Denzel Washington said it best: “At the end of the day it is not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished…It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.”

The society I find myself in is very self-involved and perhaps that is one of the reasons we so easily fall victim to all the ugly onslaughts of this world. We don’t know that we are worth more than that slap on our butt, worth more than those desperate touches and yes, worth more than those tainted tears we cry every time we are abandoned or rejected. It is time to remember that we all are stars born from the universe, human beings with a light and a purpose – it is time to live it!

I love you, all of you…

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Your future Loving Mother

Featured photo credit: Bethany Menzel via thisonesforyoublog.com

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Bianca Gouws

Freelance Writer, Director and Actress

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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