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Having a Sibling of Opposite Sex Makes You More Successful in Relationships, Studies Find

Having a Sibling of Opposite Sex Makes You More Successful in Relationships, Studies Find

Your most vivid memories of you and your siblings may be fighting over who gets to sit in the front seat of the car or who gets the biggest glass of juice. What you may be surprised to discover is that this somewhat meaningless bickering could have prepared you for future romantic relationships. It turns out that the type of relationship you had with siblings of the opposite sex can have an impact or the quality and longevity of your adult romantic relationships.

Teenage romance; a result of close sibling interactions.

You may need to thank your sibling for the romantic relationship you had with your teenage sweetheart. According to a study conducted by Susan E. Doughty and colleagues at the Pennsylvania State University, mix-gender sibling intimacy is a positive predictor of romance in later relationships.

The study involved interviews with working and middle-class adolescents. In the first interview, the participants were asked about their sibling relationship intimacy, conflicts they may experience with their siblings, and issues to do with control. Two years later, the same subjects reported on the role that intimacy played in their romantic relationships.

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So if you remember having a great summer romance during your adolescent years don’t forget to thank your brother or sister.

Your birth order may be affecting your relationships.

If you have an older sibling of the opposite-sex, you may be more likely to have rewarding interacts with strangers of the opposite sex, according to a study published in the  “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The study involved unstructured interactions of 40 mixed sex pairs. There participants were undergraduates who each had a sibling of the opposite sex. The study looked at the various possibilities of birth order; for example, a firstborn man was paired with a first born woman, and so on. Each pair was videotaped during their initial meeting, and they then completed a questionnaire about their interactions.

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The results showed that last born men talked nearly twice as long and asked more questions than firstborn men. The also evoked more gazes and verbal reinforcers, and received more self-reported liking from the female they were paired with. Last born women were more likely to initiate the interaction, and they also made their male partners smile more, than first born women.

Your birth order may be affecting your relationships with the opposite sex in more ways than you realize. If you are the youngest in the family, you may find it easier to woo the opposite sex.

Sibling favoritism and your relationship.

Siblings who reported equal treatment of themselves and their siblings had higher self-esteem and less romantic relationship distress, reported a study conducted by Amy J. Rauer and Brenda L. Volling in the Department of Psychology at the University of Michigan. On the other hand, if siblings experienced different parental affection, all of the siblings, even if they were the favorite, reported more negative models of self and greater romantic relationship distress.

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The study involved a survey that was undertaken by 200 young adults.

The results indicated that early within-family dynamics, and the treatment of siblings by their parents can have an impact on the way later relationship function.

Having more siblings may mean less chance of divorce.

A new nationwide study reveals that the more siblings you have, the less likely you are to get a divorce. Each additional sibling a person has reduces the likelihood of divorce by two percent (up to seven siblings).

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“It wasn’t the difference between being an only child and having siblings that was significant. ― We expected that if you had any siblings at all, that would give you the experience with personal relationships that would help you in marriage,” said Donna Bobbitt-Zeher, co-author of the study and an assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State’s Marion campus. “But we found that the real story appears to be how family dynamics change incrementally with the addition of each sibling. Having more siblings means more experience dealing with others, and that seems to provide additional help in dealing with a marriage relationship as an adult.”

The study used data from the General Social Survey, which involved interviews with about 57,000 adults from across the United States at 28 points between 1972 and 2012.

The results showed that each additional sibling up to about seven provided additional protection from divorce.

Summation

If you find that you enjoy a fulfilling and romantic relationship with your partner in life, you may want to give your brother or sister a call and thank them.

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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