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Why Some People Are Closer To Their Parents?

Why Some People Are Closer To Their Parents?

When it comes to parenting, there are two obvious assertions. Firstly, all parents love their children, and this unconditional blessing is something that overcome anything that comes their way. Secondly, all parents strive to maintain equal relationships with their children, while also ensuring that there is minimal jealously between siblings.

The idea of showing any kind of favouritism to a child is abhorrent to most parents, but this is not necessarily as clear-cut or as heinous as it sounds. In fact, parents can subconsciously favour one child or another, automatically leading to the cultivation of slightly closer and more fulfilling relationships.

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Why are some People closer to their Parents?

For those of you who are still unsure or uneasy about this concept, let’s debunk some of the misconceptions that exist surround favouritism between parents and their children. While the stereotypical view suggests that parents may favour a particularly child due to their personality, achievements or gender, there are in fact deeper psychological reasons why such feelings arise. This has been explored further in a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, which revealed some surprising findings about the relationships between parents and their children.

This study, which canvassed the opinion of several hundred women over the age of 65, revealed that three-quarters identified one child who was the most likely to be their primary care-giver in the future. Not only was this viewpoint generally fixed over time, but it also based on the mother’s perception that this child shares their fundamental values and views. It appears that this, more than any other factor, may create favouritism in our relationship with parents, as we tend to bond more closely with individuals who are similar to ourselves.

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How similar Values drive and Impact on the Relationship with our Parents

Interestingly, even those of us who are able to select our friends from a large and diverse group tend to forge close relationships with people who share our outlook and values. A study entitled Group Processes and Intergroup Relations explored this further, confirming the age-old opinion that we have a universal preference for similarity. While this does not always lead to the best friendships and in some instances may restrict personal growth, when we are presented with choice we tend to make the instinctive and unconscious decision to favour individuals with similar values.

When evaluating our relationship with parents, the instinctive need for similarity and the bonds subconsciously developed by shared values clearly create a scenario where favouritism can breed. While we have already stated that this does not reflect badly or parents or necessarily manifest itself within the relationship, it is important to keep in mind as it can impact on both adult sibling relationships and the cultivation of nurturing patterns. Although favoured children can benefit from a deeper emotional connection with their mother or father, for example, they may also be required to carry a greater burden of responsibility and expectations.

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The Last Word

Given the complexity of the human mind and its changeable nature, it is easy to presume that favouritism between parents and children may be influenced by superficial factors such as gender bias or a shared taste in movies. This is far from the case, however, as there are in fact unconscious emotional triggers that may cause parents to favour one child over another.

Both parents and children need to understand these in greater detail, so that they can comprehend the true nature of favouritism and the factors that influence our relationships. This can help to negate the emotional issues associated with favouritism, while empowering parents to maintain equal relationships with their children and cultivate trust between siblings.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home

Your house is more than just a building that you live in. It should be a home that makes you feel welcome as soon as you open the front door.

Making your house feel like a home is not something that simply happens on its own. You need to make some changes to a house when you move in, to give it that cozy, warm feeling that turns it into a true home. To help you speed the process, follow this guide to 10 small changes to make your house feel like a home.

1. Make the Windows Your Own

When you move into a home, they often come with boring Venetian blinds or less than attractive curtains.

One of the best ways you can instantly warm your home and make it showcase your style is to add some new window dressing. Adding beautiful curtains not only improves your home’s appearance, but it can also help to control the temperature.

2. Put up Some Art

If you have a lot of bare walls in your home, it will seem sterile no matter how beautiful your paint or wallpaper is.

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Hanging art on the walls will instantly give it personality and make it feel like home.

3. Improve the Aroma

A house that is not filled with inviting smells will never feel like a home. There are loads of ways you can make your home smell nice. There are tons of air fresheners on the market you can use.

Incense and scented candles are a nice option as well. Don’t forget that baking in a home is also a great way to fill it with an aroma that instantly smells like home as soon as you open the front door.

4. Put out Lots of Pillows and Throws

A great way to make your home look warm and inviting is to place lots of pillows and throws out on the furniture. It is much better to have too many pillows than not enough.

There is nothing like the feeling of sinking into a cushiony pillow that feels like a cloud to make you feel like you are at home.

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5. Instantly Class up Your Closet

If your closet is filled with wire or plastic hangers, it will never truly feel homey. To instantly make your closet feel classy, change out your old hangers for wooden ones.

Not only do they look great, but they are better for hanging your clothes as well.

6. Improve Your Air Quality

One of the most overlooked ways to make your house feel more like a home is to improve its air quality.

The easiest and best way to upgrade the air quality in your home is to change the old, dirty filters in your furnace regularly. Get some air filters delivered to your home so that you always have some on hand.

7. Fill it with Plants

Another way to improve the air quality in your home is to fill it with plants. You should have plants in every room of your home.

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They help to improve the air quality and they look beautiful. As well as making your home appear homier, plants also help to boost your mood and lower your stress levels.

8. Change the Doorknobs

Most people don’t really give their doorknobs a second thought unless they are broken. That is a shame because changing your doorknobs is an easy way to add personality to your home.

Changing your old, boring doorknobs to new ones that are works of art will instantly brighten your home.

9. Upgrade Your Tub or Shower

There is nothing like luxuriating in a whirlpool bath or steam shower to make the cares of the day melt away. Your family deserves a bit of luxury when they are in their bathroom.

Install a new shower or tub today to make your bathroom worthy of a place in your home.

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10. Fresh Cut Flowers

You can make any room in your house feel homier by placing a vase full of beautiful flowers in it. The gorgeous look and intoxicating aroma of fresh cut flowers will immediately brighten your day when you encounter them.

You don’t have to make all these changes at once. Try one or two a day though, and your house will feel like a home before you know it. The trick is to constantly keep adding these homey touches to make your home a place worthy of its name.

Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-wooden-round-analog-wall-clock-on-brown-wooden-wall-121537/ via unsplash.com

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