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Smiling Often Does Not Necessarily Bring Happiness, Here’s What To Do Instead

Smiling Often Does Not Necessarily Bring Happiness, Here’s What To Do Instead

A few years ago, a small movement was started where people came together in groups to practice smiling and laughing. You may have seen or read about it at the time. The reason these groups came to be was because it was thought that laughing and smiling would make people feel better and happier.

Did it work? Does smiling make you happy? One study suggests it may not have worked; that forcing yourself to smile and laugh could have the opposite effect on your happiness.

This study found that forcing a smile when you are feeling bad, can make you feel even worse about your situation — the smile is a reminder that you aren’t really happy. The “fake it til you make it” approach just doesn’t work for many people when it comes to happiness. There has to be a better way, and there is. Instead of forcing a smile, consider these suggestions.

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1. Be Honest With Yourself

If you are going through a hard time right now, the only way out is to deal with it, and the first step is to be honest with yourself about it. Many times, we try to deceive not only the people around us, but also ourselves. Give yourself permission to own how you are really feeling. If you know that forcing a smile is going to hurt more than it helps, don’t force it. It is OK if you don’t smile every moment!

2. Be Honest With Others

How many times do you answer the question, “How are you?” with “I’m fine,” or “Good.” How many times are you not feeling fine or good when you say that you are? Maybe it’s time to be honest with your answers to that dreaded question.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you give the cashier at McDonald’s your life story; sometimes it is necessary to smile and say “I’m fine” because being honest with others doesn’t mean opening up to everyone. Choose specific people in your life, who you trust, and tell them how you really feel. Tell them that you are tired of faking a smile, and tired of pretending to be OK when you really aren’t.

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When these people ask how you are, tell them the truth. The world needs more truth tellers because there isn’t one person on this earth who has not put on a plastic smile and pretended everything is OK when it really wasn’t. Not everyone will understand what you are going through, but they will understand how it feels to “fake it.” We have ALL been there!

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Get Help

There is never, never, never any shame in getting help when it is needed. Therapy, counselling, or sometimes even just talking it out with a good friend can help immensely. A good counselor will help you deal with the problem and give you the tools you need to find your smile again — the real smile, not the fake one!

This usually means work on your part — there are no magic words to make you feel better, but there are things you can do to change the way you think or view a situation in your life, and ways to correct certain issues that cause unhappiness. If you go and get help, remember to put into practice the suggestions given to you.

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4. Try a Real Smile on for Size

Whatever your situation is right now, whatever the cause of your fake smiles, there are still opportunities for your real smile to show itself. Think about what makes you happy. If you cannot think of anything, go a little farther back and think about the simple things that used to bring a smile to your face.

It could be something as simple as watching your dog play at the park, or listening to your favorite song. Or it could be something like sharing a good cup of coffee with a friend. Whatever it is, revisit those moments in your life that made you smile for real.

Go back and try it again. While that study proved that faking a smile doesn’t bring happiness, it did prove that when you are happy, you will smile. Go back to what makes you happy, and you will find yourself smiling again.

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(Please note that this article does not mention depression — this is an illness to be taken seriously, and needs to be treated by a professional. The advice given in this last paragraph will not help anyone who is severely depressed.)

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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