What makes a great relationship? Having things in common? Having the same goals and aspirations? The ability to keep a sense of humour in adverse times? Many things make up a well-oiled relationship but let’s get curious for a minute.
Curiosity is something we don’t often put down as a positive trait when it comes to relationships – after all, it killed the cat which indicates that sticking your nose in where it shouldn’t be will only cause a nasty shock. It’s often believed that ignorance is bliss and what you don’t know won’t hurt you, but when it comes to relationships, is this hindering your ability to bond and truly get to know each other?
Curiosity is a major part of communication between a couple and without it, it can cause us to jump to conclusions, judge the other person, and make assumptions. In essence, without curiosity we are stopping ourselves from seeing the whole picture and this causes unneeded animosity.
Why Curiosity Paves The Way For A Great Relationship
Curiosity is how we learn. It’s how we gain knowledge of the world and the people around us – it’s how we form good relationships with others. It also brings a sense of being humble by asking the questions and listening to what a person’s response is. All this helps us to form and build close friendships and romantic relationships. Continuing curiosity is important to keep up that special bond.
1. Curiosity Increases Compatibility
Having a sense of curiosity in a relationship increases compatibility because, not only does it enhance your own self-understanding, but it also creates a mutual understanding with the other person. In other words, you are both on the same page which allows forward moving growth and open communication as well as creating intimacy between you.
If you use curiosity in the right way, then situations when, for example, your partner comes home late, won’t end in accusations and assumptions being made about why they’re late. It will create an understanding between you both that carries on into all situations therefore creating a deeper compatibility in your thinking and positive reactions.
2. Curiosity Opens Up Your Relationship To New Avenues
Actively being curious of each other and the world around you will stop the relationship from entering into a boring dead end routine. If you are both willing to explore more of the world and the people in it, you are both more likely to explore possibilities with your relationship. Curiosity keeps your relationship exciting, fresh and open to new understandings of yourself and the other person. This gives you the chance for you to evolve together.
3. Curiosity Helps With Problem-Solving
It’s easy to make assumptions about someone or a situation and when problems arise, it’s these assumptions that can stop you from being able to problem-solve effectively. Being curious opens up a way of brain-storming and allows you to solve problems together even without realizing it. By adopting a curious nature, you open up a dialogue between you and you’re more likely to navigate away from conflict as well as strengthening your connection.
Preventing misunderstandings, arguments and resentments can all be solved by bringing that curious aspect into your relationship.
How To Create Curiosity In Your Relationships
Curiosity is all about asking questions but make sure they are open-ended – let the other person talk, listen intently and ask other questions. Doing this will encourage the other person to do the same for you.
The key is to keep your ego in check when you ask them and by that, I mean be genuine and sincere and not asking questions in a demanding or interrogating way. An example of this would be asking how your partner is feeling even if you have an idea of what the answer may be – let them talk and listen. Your aim is to learn and grow from the information you share in a loving way.
By adopting curiosity as part of your communication, you eliminate the assumptions, the judgements we can tend to cultivate about others’ habits and behaviours, misreading situations, misunderstandings, and ultimately reduce unnecessary conflict. It’s about letting go of your ideals and being willing to open up your mindset to a different perspective – one where you don’t know everything about someone but the want to find out is ever-lingering and present.
We are constantly growing and developing as individuals, so it’s important to keep up with each other. What may be right or wrong for you, may not be the same for someone else and it’s important to always keep this in mind. Believing the person you started a relationship with years ago still has the same feelings, thoughts and ideas is a major misconception and can cause major contention. Curiosity should always be a major factor in friendships and relationships and should be used to find out how your loved ones are changing and developing as individuals.
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it’s time to treat curiosity as a positive way of living rather than a guarded, cautious one.