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7 Signs You Will Probably Have A Long-Lasting Marriage

7 Signs You Will Probably Have A Long-Lasting Marriage

Everyone wants a long and happy marriage.

According to reports in the Huffington Posts and the NY Times the divorce rate has actually been declining for several years.

This is great news!

But wouldn’t it be nice if there were some science behind how to make a marriage last? Or maybe a formula that could be applied or a special pill designed specifically to foster long lasting marriages?

Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, two researchers at Emory University studied 3,000 married couples in the U.S. to determine some of the factors that can help make a marriage last. Their demographic statistics were compiled and their findings are actually quite interesting.

And while there is no recipe or secret to making a marriage last, there are some signs you may be on the right track:

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1. You dated at least three years prior to becoming engaged

Date 3 years or more

    Research shows that couples who dated for at least three years prior to their engagement are 39 percent less likely to get divorced than couples who dated less than a year before getting engaged.

    According to Psychology Today, there is no hard and fast rule on how long a couple should wait to get engaged or married.  However, most experts agree that anything shorter than two years drastically increases the odds of divorce.

    Dating for a while before saying “I do,”  indicates a level of planning that suggests the couple is in it for the long haul.

    2. You attend church regularly

    religious attendance

      The statistics here are clear.  Those who attend church regularly and are active in their faith are 46% less likely to divorce.

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      An article, on this topic, published in Christianity Today cites the findings from a study conducted by Dr. Wilcox, Director of The National Marriage Project. The study finds that “religiously unaffiliated Americans are the most likely to divorce.”

      Also, when considering how much religion factors into a couple’s ability to make a marriage last, you must understand that it isn’t religion per se that holds the marriage together. Rather, it is the belief system of the church and its views concerning marriage and family. This belief system is tied to the support network that accompanies regular church involvement.

      When couples engage in a belief system that frowns on divorce and are surrounded by individuals who reinforce and encourage marriage–the chance of divorce diminishes.

      3. You have a large wedding

      Wedding size

        On the surface, this factor doesn’t seem to make sense. However, consider the following statistic: couples who elope are 12.5 times more likely to end up divorced than couples who get married at a wedding with 200+ people.

        Having a large group of family and friends who support the marriage is critically important to long-term marital stability.

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        4. You have an inexpensive wedding

        cost of wedding. png

          This factor seems to directly contradict point three. But the research data doesn’t lie. The study found that the more you spend on a wedding the higher your chances of divorce become.

          The study states that couples who spend $20,000 or more on their wedding are 46 percent more likely to get a divorce. Adversely, couples who spend $5,000 or less are 18 percent less likely to divorce.

          Researchers Francis and Mialon say one possible explanation for their findings is that post-wedding debt can stoke marital tensions.

          5. You have a honeymoon immediately after the wedding ceremony

          Honeymoon

            Going on a honeymoon decreases the likelihood of a couple splitting up by 41 percent.

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            There’s a reason the honeymoon comes right after getting hitched. There is all of this wedding stress that builds up, followed by a huge and extravagant party involving all of your family and friends. All of this stress and pressure can really take a toll on the newlyweds. A honeymoon is a time of relaxation, re-connection and release.

            6. You have a combined annual income of over $125K

            annual income

              Its no secret– disputes over finances are one of the leading causes of divorce.

              Couples with an annual income north of 125K are 51 percent less likely to come undone. And the more a couple earns the lower their chances of divorce become.

              7. Inner beauty is valued over external beauty

              physical appearance

                This is a no brainier. If the physical attractiveness of your spouse is high on your list of priorities you may as well prepare to become a divorce statistic.

                In fact, men are 50 percent more likely to end up divorced when they site their partner’s looks as being an important part of their decision to marry.

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                Denise Hill

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                Last Updated on January 21, 2020

                How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

                How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

                If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

                Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

                So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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                1. Listen

                Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

                2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

                Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

                “Why do you want to do that?”

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                “What makes you so excited about it?”

                “How long has that been your dream?”

                You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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                3. Encourage

                This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

                4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

                After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

                5. Dream

                This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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                6. Ask How You Can Help

                Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

                7. Follow Up

                Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

                Final Thoughts

                By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

                Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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                Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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