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5 Reasons to Visit India Before You’re 30

5 Reasons to Visit India Before You’re 30

Life is good. You’ve got a solid job, a nice little place to live, and plenty of friends and family around you to enjoy your free time. You even get away at least twice a year to some really beautiful and interesting places.

But, something isn’t quite right. At the back of your mind you know that you should be feeling all of this just a little bit more. You don’t like to admit it, but there are times when you have the sensation that all you’re doing is going through the motions. You chose life, and are pretty much winning at it, but….

What I’m describing above is exactly the kind of life that I was living a few years back. There was no outwardly reason for me to turn my back on the set-up that I had. I didn’t go to India expecting a six week trip to change all that much. It was supposed to be a short intermission between my leaving Barcelona and heading to the bright lights of London to seek my fame and fortune. I never made it to London. And those six weeks turned into six months. India changed my life, and I’ve seen first hand how much of a profound effect it has also had on so many others.

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Here are 5 very unfairly curtailed reasons as to how it could do the same for you:

1. The Culture Shock

Until you get there, you can never fully appreciate what that first initial shock of being in India is like. Even in the most modern, upwardly mobile cities, this is just a different world. And it’s from this jumping off point that you are forced to very quickly reconcile yourself to the fact that we’re a long way from Kansas now, Toto! This chaotic sensory wake up call is something that you must first manage and then learn to embrace as you see for yourself just how much intestinal fortitude you really have.

2. The People

In India, you will meet some of the most welcoming, hospitable, upbeat people you have ever encountered. They love to talk with you about where you come from and oftentimes they will happily provide you with a plethora of information about their particular town and city and all of the best things to see and do there. Locals are also usually very proud of their local religious festivals and are a great source for you to get a better grasp of what is going on and why.

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It is not just the local people either. When you visit India, you will immediately come across legions of other foreigners just like you, all trying to find their way within this madness. Foreigners stick together and there is always somebody on hand to help you out if you need help or advice.

3. The Food

Indian cuisine is about a lot more than just curry. It is a land full of fruits and vegetables that you may never have even seen before and a cooking culture that is unique to every state that you visit and ingrained in the very fabric of each village, town, and city that you’ll stay. And, no, it’s not all really spicy. Of course it can be, if you dare to try, but usually the food served to foreigners is purposely left quite mild so as to not scare us off.

4. Religion and Spirituality

Religion plays a role in society here that pervades every aspect of life, but not in a way that is ever forced on you or made to feel oppressive. You must absolutely respect the fact that you are a guest and conduct yourself accordingly, but the life lessons that you can learn from a distance are absolutely fascinating.

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The stories of Shiva, Kali, Hanuman, and Krishna are exciting, beautiful narratives that define the very essence of life in India, but it is perhaps the underlying sense of spirit beneath all of the often garish representations of the idols that the outsider can most easily connect with.

Yoga and meditation go hand in hand with most people’s daily routines here, making it the perfect place for you to step back from all of the chaos and look to reconnect with your own true Self.

5. The Whole Territory

India possesses beautiful beaches, probably the most spectacular mountain range in the world, vast deserts, incredible architecture, ancient, almost perfectly preserved, holy temples, elephants and tigers, the Taj Mahal, the River Ganga, Bollywood, and cities that will give you sensory overrides like no others in the world. With India being blessed with so much variety it means that you never need sit still if you aren’t completely feeling your current location.

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Just jump on a plane or catch a train to the next destination. India is bound to have exactly what it is that you were looking for. It’s just up to you to find it.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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