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How You Treat Servers Reveals Your Personality

How You Treat Servers Reveals Your Personality

“How others treat the CEO says nothing, they say. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul.” – Del Jones, USA Today

The Waiter Rule” suggests that how we treat waiters and waitresses can reveal a lot about our personality. The majority of CEO’s are in agreement with this (and let’s be honest, they don’t agree on much).

Au Bon Pain co-founder Ron Shaich, now CEO of Panera Bread, mentions that when candidates are being interviewed for executive positions he will ask his assistant how they treated her. Being rude and demanding in these instances is often an indicator that such individuals are not team players.

Furthermore, according to Dr. Fredric Neuman of Psychology Today, how people treat waiters should be considered when choosing a future partner.

In light of the above, what does a person’s behavior towards a server reveal about their personality? To determine this, let’s analyze some common behaviors.

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The friendly person who always says thank you

We have all been with these people. They are always friendly. They greet the server and get to know them by name. And they say thank you – sometimes too much. These are the type of people who see everyone as equal.

They recognize that having a high paying job does not make you superior and does not give you the right to treat people badly. They treat all people (loved ones or not) with compassion and empathy.

They accept that every person has a story. The waiter or waitress might be the sole breadwinner, or perhaps they are working two jobs. Maybe they are paying for their studies. Whatever their situation, this type of person remains cognizant of the fact that all humans are equal. They remain kind.

Such an interaction signals their ability to work well in a team. They are not judgmental. They like seeing people happy. They are genuinely nice people.

The rude person

Have you ever been to a restaurant and seen someone being rude to a waiter? You know that man or women in the corner who talks to the waitress in a condescending manner? Now it just might be that they are having a bad day. (Of course, that does not give them the right to treat others badly.) Perhaps this is just a one-time incident.

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However, for some people this is a regular occurrence. Often they do not even realize they are being rude. They speak to the waiter in a condescending manner. They snap their fingers to get the waitress’s attention. To them the waiters and waitresses are invisible. Whether this is intentional or unintentional, they perceive the server as inferior based on their job.

These individuals are paying customers so they feel that the serving staff should fulfill their needs, regardless as to whether their demands are reasonable.

Individuals who demonstrate such behavior have a demanding personality. They may think they are better than other people. They may feel superior. They may be self-centered. They crave control and power. They may be status conscious.

They may have what is known as a situational value system – where they change their behavior depending on the perceived status of the person they are interacting with.

Aside from people who are friendly to servers and those who are rude, there are also those that prefer minimal interaction and those who are outright people’s people.

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The person who engages in minimal interaction

Some people prefer not to engage in much conversation with the waitress or waiter. This does not mean they are rude. It may just mean that they are having a day where they don’t feel like talking to people. Everyone has days like these where they want to be in their own space.

Or, it could mean that they are introverts. They prefer that everyone just focuses on their own role. They may employ the same strategy in their workplace. As an individual, they may be goal orientated and intensely focused on efficiency and getting things done.

While some prefer to be quiet, others prefer to engage in conversation, and very often a lot of it.

The person who engages in a lot of interaction

There are always those friends that enjoy asking a lot of questions. They enjoy interacting with the waitress or waiter.

This may be due to a number of reasons. There is the outside chance that the individual enjoys annoying the waiter or waitress, but there is also the distinct possibility that the person is genuinely curious and enjoys finding out as much information as possible when they are a paying customer.

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The person may also be an extrovert and genuinely enjoys meeting new people and learning more about that person.

These individuals are confident, know exactly what they want and are not afraid to voice their opinion. They are not afraid to ask questions to ensure they get exactly what they want.

Moral of the story

The behaviors we engage in with waitresses and waiters, how we interact with them, and how we treat them can reveal a lot about our personality. While certain traits that are revealed (such as being an introvert and extrovert) are rather harmless, there are others which may make the waiter feel inferior. It is important to be cognizant of one’s behavior. Everyone is human. Everyone is equal, no matter the perceived status of their job or role.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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