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How You Treat Servers Reveals Your Personality

How You Treat Servers Reveals Your Personality

“How others treat the CEO says nothing, they say. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul.” – Del Jones, USA Today

The Waiter Rule” suggests that how we treat waiters and waitresses can reveal a lot about our personality. The majority of CEO’s are in agreement with this (and let’s be honest, they don’t agree on much).

Au Bon Pain co-founder Ron Shaich, now CEO of Panera Bread, mentions that when candidates are being interviewed for executive positions he will ask his assistant how they treated her. Being rude and demanding in these instances is often an indicator that such individuals are not team players.

Furthermore, according to Dr. Fredric Neuman of Psychology Today, how people treat waiters should be considered when choosing a future partner.

In light of the above, what does a person’s behavior towards a server reveal about their personality? To determine this, let’s analyze some common behaviors.

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The friendly person who always says thank you

We have all been with these people. They are always friendly. They greet the server and get to know them by name. And they say thank you – sometimes too much. These are the type of people who see everyone as equal.

They recognize that having a high paying job does not make you superior and does not give you the right to treat people badly. They treat all people (loved ones or not) with compassion and empathy.

They accept that every person has a story. The waiter or waitress might be the sole breadwinner, or perhaps they are working two jobs. Maybe they are paying for their studies. Whatever their situation, this type of person remains cognizant of the fact that all humans are equal. They remain kind.

Such an interaction signals their ability to work well in a team. They are not judgmental. They like seeing people happy. They are genuinely nice people.

The rude person

Have you ever been to a restaurant and seen someone being rude to a waiter? You know that man or women in the corner who talks to the waitress in a condescending manner? Now it just might be that they are having a bad day. (Of course, that does not give them the right to treat others badly.) Perhaps this is just a one-time incident.

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However, for some people this is a regular occurrence. Often they do not even realize they are being rude. They speak to the waiter in a condescending manner. They snap their fingers to get the waitress’s attention. To them the waiters and waitresses are invisible. Whether this is intentional or unintentional, they perceive the server as inferior based on their job.

These individuals are paying customers so they feel that the serving staff should fulfill their needs, regardless as to whether their demands are reasonable.

Individuals who demonstrate such behavior have a demanding personality. They may think they are better than other people. They may feel superior. They may be self-centered. They crave control and power. They may be status conscious.

They may have what is known as a situational value system – where they change their behavior depending on the perceived status of the person they are interacting with.

Aside from people who are friendly to servers and those who are rude, there are also those that prefer minimal interaction and those who are outright people’s people.

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The person who engages in minimal interaction

Some people prefer not to engage in much conversation with the waitress or waiter. This does not mean they are rude. It may just mean that they are having a day where they don’t feel like talking to people. Everyone has days like these where they want to be in their own space.

Or, it could mean that they are introverts. They prefer that everyone just focuses on their own role. They may employ the same strategy in their workplace. As an individual, they may be goal orientated and intensely focused on efficiency and getting things done.

While some prefer to be quiet, others prefer to engage in conversation, and very often a lot of it.

The person who engages in a lot of interaction

There are always those friends that enjoy asking a lot of questions. They enjoy interacting with the waitress or waiter.

This may be due to a number of reasons. There is the outside chance that the individual enjoys annoying the waiter or waitress, but there is also the distinct possibility that the person is genuinely curious and enjoys finding out as much information as possible when they are a paying customer.

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The person may also be an extrovert and genuinely enjoys meeting new people and learning more about that person.

These individuals are confident, know exactly what they want and are not afraid to voice their opinion. They are not afraid to ask questions to ensure they get exactly what they want.

Moral of the story

The behaviors we engage in with waitresses and waiters, how we interact with them, and how we treat them can reveal a lot about our personality. While certain traits that are revealed (such as being an introvert and extrovert) are rather harmless, there are others which may make the waiter feel inferior. It is important to be cognizant of one’s behavior. Everyone is human. Everyone is equal, no matter the perceived status of their job or role.

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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