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8 Signs You’re Good At Communication With Listening

8 Signs You’re Good At Communication With Listening

While it is easy to assume that good speakers and public orators are outstanding communicators, these individuals may not have exceptional listening skills. This is a core communication skill, however, and one that studies suggest is continually in decline in workplaces across the globe.

These studies underline two things. Firstly, they suggest that listening skills are suffering amid the remote communication techniques of the digital age. Secondly, they underline the difference between hearing and listening, as while we may hear what others say we do not necessarily understand or empathise with the speaker.

8 Signs you are Good at Listening

In this respect, listening is a rare and special communication skill that is important in all walks of life. Virgin founder Richard Branson also believes that strong leaders must have excellent listening skills, so here are eight signs that you are blessed in this discipline: –

1. You have Strong Empathy as a Good Listener

Empathy is central to good listening, primarily because it enables individuals to truly understand opposing viewpoints. They are also compelled to hear their conversation partners’ out without imparting their own views, making it easier to achievable a beneficial resolution going forward.

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The concept of empathetic listening also underpins mutual trust between individuals, and this is pivotal in both personal and professional relationships.

2. You ask follow-up questions

Similarly, a good listener does not interrupt others’ flow by interjecting with their own stories or insights. Instead, they ask follow-up questions based on what they have just heard, encouraging others to continue to share in an open and frank manner.

If you friend is talking to you about how bad their boss is, for example, emphasise with statements such as ‘oh, that’s a shame’ before asking question such as ‘what did they do?” This allows the conversation to develop organically and to the benefit of both parties.

3. You Know how to respond across all topics

Let’s face facts, we have all participated in discussions where we have minimal interest. Great listeners have an innate ability to respond meaningfully and positively in such conversations, however, as they hone in on relevant points of interest and determine the main snipets of information.

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Such points would also trigger key questions, while great listeners will also repeat certain things that they hear to reinforce their participation in the conversation.

4. You do not react angrily to criticism or points of disagreements

Good listeners tend to be emotionally intelligent, meaning that they are sensitive to their feelings and those of the people around them. This means that they do not react angrily or impulsively to criticism or specific points of disagreement, and instead remain objective until their conversation partner has finished talking.

These emotional responses will be replaced with objective questions, which are designed to learn more and develop far greater insight.

5. You think beyond Words to truly understand your conversation partners

Listening is a broad and fluid art, and one that involves far more than words alone. You must also consider the meaning of tone, gestures and facial experessions, as these also convey messages and help you to understand how those around you are feeling.

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Similarly, you also need to link specific words and thoughts to reveal overall themes and ideas. This demands concentration and focus, but it enables you to use your listening skills to maximise the creativity and cooperation of others.

6. You appreciate listening as a Learning Process

When interacting with others, great listeners consider this to be a tremendous learning process in terms of understanding others and driving self-improvement. Not only this but they also appreciate the process of learning through listening, while continuing to process data as they communicate with others.

Appreciation is crucial, as this helps to maintain your engagement levels and truly benefit from the lessons that are available through the wisdom of others.

7. You use your Body Language to show you are engaged

On a similar note, great listeners also use their own body languages and gestures to underline their engagement with speakers. This entails maintaining eye contact with speakers and undertaking affirmative gestures such as nodding, as you empower others to share their thoughts and reassure them that their voice is being heard.

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From my own experience, this also helps the listener too. I recently attended a conference which discussed a rise in the sale of motorhomes, and while listening I made sure to maintain eye contact with the speaker. This enabled me to process information quickly and easily, while also ensuring that underlying messages were also clearly understood.

8. You realise your shortcomings as a Listener

As strange as it may sound, accepting your shortcomings as a listener is key to optimising your skills and improving in the future. This reflects the fact that no single individual can pick on everything that everyone is saying all of the time, and we must compromise by learning from our respective failures and accepting our imperfections.

The key is that you maintain the intention of listening to others at all time, and forgive yourself in instances where you fail or miss the point of what people are saying. Without this attitude, you will struggle to develop your skills and instead spend your time berating yourself for failures.

Ultimately, these points should help you to understand truth about listening skills and appreciate your own abilities. It may also offer you inspiration to improve in the future, as you look to become a more studious, thoughtful and most importantly good listener. 

Featured photo credit: Dumb Little Man via dumblittleman.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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