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6 Signs You’re An Introvert With Hidden Amazing Communication Skills

6 Signs You’re An Introvert With Hidden Amazing Communication Skills

It is no secret that introverts have it difficult when it comes to communicating their thoughts and ideas.

The problem happens in the brain, where information travels a longer neural pathway to process events and interactions compared to non-introverts, according to Martin Olsen Laney, author of ‘The Introvert Advantage’. The length of their neural pathway takes into account their feelings and thoughts while processing information, which further complicates their ability to share clearly what they are thinking.

While communication is not something that most introverts thrive in, it is still possible for some to have the capacity to say what is precisely on their minds without a shred of doubt or hesitation.

If you are such a rare case of an introvert, then below are signs that prove your effective communication prowess, that you may not be conscious of.

1. You make quick and effective decisions

As mentioned, introverts take time in processing information in their brain that there is a tendency for them to overthink things, which can lead to a slow response from them.

Worse, because they spend more time thinking and analyzing the situation, they end up not doing anything at all.

While a swift and decisive action isn’t something that introverts are known for, making decisions on the fly is an important aspect of communication. If you feel the need to say “no” as the spur-of-the-moment, then do so. Justifying your choices based on long-term memory and planning, both of which are part of an introvert’s neural pathway, will prevent you from making snap decisions.

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This is not to say that introverts who can make things happen, to forego their neural pathway. It has more to do with your ability to make a firm decision without being paralyzed by your thought process.

2. You do not feel sorry. At all

My apologies if you were offended by this, for not feeling and saying sorry for who you are is a very good thing.

Saying sorry too much can have its own consequences. For some, like Audrey S. Lee of The New York Times in this article, saying sorry was developed at an early age by her father to show humility. Over time, saying sorry become more of a reflex than a reaction to something she did wrong.

Audrey soon found out that saying sorry, especially in the workplace, will rub people the wrong way. It is not because they feel it is false humility, but it has more to do with the perception of people about her confidence and self-worth. By saying sorry, even if you did not do anything wrong, you devalue your worth to the people around you.

“As I examined my background and core values, I discovered that having a perpetually apologetic stance didn’t necessarily represent true humility,” says Audrey having kicked the Apology Reflex out the curb.” I found that I could offer an honest self-portrait without being arrogant, so others would see how I could make a difference. This was a style of confidence that felt congruent and authentic to me.”

By learning how to say sorry with discretion, you can communicate your value and self-worth as an introvert.

3. You take risks

The pleasure and reward system in the brain is triggered by dopamine neurotransmitters. Extroverts are usually big risk-takers because they feel the rush of adrenaline (which are the neurotransmitters) from doing something dangerous, if not exciting.

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This is in stark contrast with how introverts normally spend their free time, which is by reading books, daydreaming, and spending time alone, to name few riveting things they do.

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    In other words, introverts are not big fans of risks and surprises, simply because they find little to no reward from doing them. Activities outside their comfort zones are red flags, thus preventing them from doing something out of the ordinary.

    Moreover, the nervous system of introverts encourages them to conserve energy, which explains the kinds of inert activities they do when compared to non-introverts.

    But you find a way to go out nonetheless, and break free from the norm. Instead of staying cooped up inside your room, you go out and socialize and create new experiences, which is normally outside your jurisdiction.

    4. You talk about yourself freely

    It is rare for an introvert to share things about themselves. Their nature is to give way normally for others to speak their minds and dictate the discussion.

    Based on the findings of marriage therapists Ruth G. Sherman and Jane Hardy Jones in their book Intimacy and Type: Building Enduring Relationships by Embracing Personality Differences, introverts tend to get overstimulated easily. To mitigate the stimulation, they avoid engaging with the outside world as much as possible, and keep to themselves to regain their energies and clear their heads.

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    By disconnecting from the outside world, there is less risk for them to be drained by people they do not like and conversations that do not interest them. Without communication, there will be fewer chances for them to share who they are.

    But, lo and behold, you are not one of these introverts!

    While you may not actively seek conversation, you do not shy away from sharing things about yourself only from your close friends and family members, but also with strangers. You are willing to leave yourself exposed to others, which normally causes distress to introverts. But for some reason, you don’t seem to mind.

    5. You can focus on the conversation

    Going back to the neural pathway of an introvert, they tend to compare experiences from their long-term memory to the ones they are experiencing at the moment. The process could lead to internal monologues with their thoughts and ideas. Voices in their head, as they say.

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      However, this prevents you from staying in the now, especially when you are talking to someone or in a meeting with a group of people. Since your brain bombards your senses with different experiences drawn from your memory, your consciousness tends to fly away with them, leaving you disengaged from what’s happening at the moment.

      Introverts with great communication skills have the ability to drown out the noise from their heads so they can stay attentive with the conversation and avoid missing details. They can keep up with the conversation, without their minds wandering off somewhere.

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      6. You know how to pace the conversation

      As an introvert, there is no escaping the fact that your brain will process information much slower than others. Instead of trying to fundamentally change how your brain is wired, you need to embrace your introspection to communicate your thoughts clearly.

      Since you find it difficult to make conversation at a normal pace, you know how to politely excuse yourself for a moment to think about what has been talked about. You can request to go to the restroom or go outside to have some fresh air, so that you can gather energy for another round of discussion after you get back inside.

      You can also run through the dialogue with them just so you and the others are thinking of the same thing. For example, if you find that the conversation has gotten convoluted, you can say, “Excuse me, but are you saying that…” or “So let me get this straight…” before repeating what has been discussed based on how you understood it.

      So, how can you be like these introverts?

      Effective communication does not come naturally to introverts. But if they want to expand their social circles and undertake more experiences in life, then these are the things that they should do:

      • Know what you want – Find out your non-negotiables in life to help you determine your priorities, dreams, hopes, and aspirations. By understanding what you want, you can make firmer decisions on the fly.
      • Be confident – You know you have value and self-worth; just make sure that others see it too.
      • Stick your neck out a little – Effective communication happens with practice, not by talking to yourself and shutting yourself in a room. Believe me, striking up conversations with people won’t hurt.
      • Focus – What matters in a discussion is, you and the people you are talking to. Nothing more.
      • Give yourself room to breath – When the conversation is getting too much for you, step out, breath a little, take a break, and step back inside when you’re ready.

      Featured photo credit: Isolate top mountain alone cliffThinking work man face at Pixabay

      Featured photo credit: Korney Violin via unsplash.com

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      Christopher Jan Benitez

      Christopher is a passionate writer sharing about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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      Last Updated on February 11, 2021

      Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

      Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

      How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

      Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

      The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

      Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

      Perceptual Barrier

      The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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      The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

      The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

      Attitudinal Barrier

      Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

      The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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      The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

      Language Barrier

      This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

      The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

      The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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      Emotional Barrier

      Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

      The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

      The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

      Cultural Barrier

      Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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      The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

      The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

      Gender Barrier

      Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

      The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

      The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

      And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

      Reference

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