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6 Signs You’re An Introvert With Hidden Amazing Communication Skills

6 Signs You’re An Introvert With Hidden Amazing Communication Skills

It is no secret that introverts have it difficult when it comes to communicating their thoughts and ideas.

The problem happens in the brain, where information travels a longer neural pathway to process events and interactions compared to non-introverts, according to Martin Olsen Laney, author of ‘The Introvert Advantage’. The length of their neural pathway takes into account their feelings and thoughts while processing information, which further complicates their ability to share clearly what they are thinking.

While communication is not something that most introverts thrive in, it is still possible for some to have the capacity to say what is precisely on their minds without a shred of doubt or hesitation.

If you are such a rare case of an introvert, then below are signs that prove your effective communication prowess, that you may not be conscious of.

1. You make quick and effective decisions

As mentioned, introverts take time in processing information in their brain that there is a tendency for them to overthink things, which can lead to a slow response from them.

Worse, because they spend more time thinking and analyzing the situation, they end up not doing anything at all.

While a swift and decisive action isn’t something that introverts are known for, making decisions on the fly is an important aspect of communication. If you feel the need to say “no” as the spur-of-the-moment, then do so. Justifying your choices based on long-term memory and planning, both of which are part of an introvert’s neural pathway, will prevent you from making snap decisions.

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This is not to say that introverts who can make things happen, to forego their neural pathway. It has more to do with your ability to make a firm decision without being paralyzed by your thought process.

2. You do not feel sorry. At all

My apologies if you were offended by this, for not feeling and saying sorry for who you are is a very good thing.

Saying sorry too much can have its own consequences. For some, like Audrey S. Lee of The New York Times in this article, saying sorry was developed at an early age by her father to show humility. Over time, saying sorry become more of a reflex than a reaction to something she did wrong.

Audrey soon found out that saying sorry, especially in the workplace, will rub people the wrong way. It is not because they feel it is false humility, but it has more to do with the perception of people about her confidence and self-worth. By saying sorry, even if you did not do anything wrong, you devalue your worth to the people around you.

“As I examined my background and core values, I discovered that having a perpetually apologetic stance didn’t necessarily represent true humility,” says Audrey having kicked the Apology Reflex out the curb.” I found that I could offer an honest self-portrait without being arrogant, so others would see how I could make a difference. This was a style of confidence that felt congruent and authentic to me.”

By learning how to say sorry with discretion, you can communicate your value and self-worth as an introvert.

3. You take risks

The pleasure and reward system in the brain is triggered by dopamine neurotransmitters. Extroverts are usually big risk-takers because they feel the rush of adrenaline (which are the neurotransmitters) from doing something dangerous, if not exciting.

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This is in stark contrast with how introverts normally spend their free time, which is by reading books, daydreaming, and spending time alone, to name few riveting things they do.

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    In other words, introverts are not big fans of risks and surprises, simply because they find little to no reward from doing them. Activities outside their comfort zones are red flags, thus preventing them from doing something out of the ordinary.

    Moreover, the nervous system of introverts encourages them to conserve energy, which explains the kinds of inert activities they do when compared to non-introverts.

    But you find a way to go out nonetheless, and break free from the norm. Instead of staying cooped up inside your room, you go out and socialize and create new experiences, which is normally outside your jurisdiction.

    4. You talk about yourself freely

    It is rare for an introvert to share things about themselves. Their nature is to give way normally for others to speak their minds and dictate the discussion.

    Based on the findings of marriage therapists Ruth G. Sherman and Jane Hardy Jones in their book Intimacy and Type: Building Enduring Relationships by Embracing Personality Differences, introverts tend to get overstimulated easily. To mitigate the stimulation, they avoid engaging with the outside world as much as possible, and keep to themselves to regain their energies and clear their heads.

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    By disconnecting from the outside world, there is less risk for them to be drained by people they do not like and conversations that do not interest them. Without communication, there will be fewer chances for them to share who they are.

    But, lo and behold, you are not one of these introverts!

    While you may not actively seek conversation, you do not shy away from sharing things about yourself only from your close friends and family members, but also with strangers. You are willing to leave yourself exposed to others, which normally causes distress to introverts. But for some reason, you don’t seem to mind.

    5. You can focus on the conversation

    Going back to the neural pathway of an introvert, they tend to compare experiences from their long-term memory to the ones they are experiencing at the moment. The process could lead to internal monologues with their thoughts and ideas. Voices in their head, as they say.

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      However, this prevents you from staying in the now, especially when you are talking to someone or in a meeting with a group of people. Since your brain bombards your senses with different experiences drawn from your memory, your consciousness tends to fly away with them, leaving you disengaged from what’s happening at the moment.

      Introverts with great communication skills have the ability to drown out the noise from their heads so they can stay attentive with the conversation and avoid missing details. They can keep up with the conversation, without their minds wandering off somewhere.

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      6. You know how to pace the conversation

      As an introvert, there is no escaping the fact that your brain will process information much slower than others. Instead of trying to fundamentally change how your brain is wired, you need to embrace your introspection to communicate your thoughts clearly.

      Since you find it difficult to make conversation at a normal pace, you know how to politely excuse yourself for a moment to think about what has been talked about. You can request to go to the restroom or go outside to have some fresh air, so that you can gather energy for another round of discussion after you get back inside.

      You can also run through the dialogue with them just so you and the others are thinking of the same thing. For example, if you find that the conversation has gotten convoluted, you can say, “Excuse me, but are you saying that…” or “So let me get this straight…” before repeating what has been discussed based on how you understood it.

      So, how can you be like these introverts?

      Effective communication does not come naturally to introverts. But if they want to expand their social circles and undertake more experiences in life, then these are the things that they should do:

      • Know what you want – Find out your non-negotiables in life to help you determine your priorities, dreams, hopes, and aspirations. By understanding what you want, you can make firmer decisions on the fly.
      • Be confident – You know you have value and self-worth; just make sure that others see it too.
      • Stick your neck out a little – Effective communication happens with practice, not by talking to yourself and shutting yourself in a room. Believe me, striking up conversations with people won’t hurt.
      • Focus – What matters in a discussion is, you and the people you are talking to. Nothing more.
      • Give yourself room to breath – When the conversation is getting too much for you, step out, breath a little, take a break, and step back inside when you’re ready.

      Featured photo credit: Isolate top mountain alone cliffThinking work man face at Pixabay

      Featured photo credit: Korney Violin via unsplash.com

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      Christopher Jan Benitez

      Freelance Writer

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      Last Updated on March 14, 2019

      7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

      7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

      Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

      For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

      Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

      1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

      A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

      It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

      It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

      How it helps you:

      If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

      Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

      2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

      Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

      Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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      How it helps you:

      Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

      Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

      If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

      Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

      3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

      Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

      Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

      How it helps you:

      This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

      For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

      Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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      A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

      4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

      To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

      A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

      How it helps you:

      One word: hierarchy.

      All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

      In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

      If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

      5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

      Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

      Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

      How it helps you:

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      Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

      If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

      This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

      6. What do you like about working here?

      This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

      Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

      How it helps you:

      You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

      Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

      Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

      7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

      What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

      As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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      How it helps you:

      What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

      First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

      Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

      Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

      Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

      Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

      Making Your Interview Work for You

      Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

      Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

      More Resources About Job Interviews

      Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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