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How To Use Your Intuition To Find Your Soulmate

How To Use Your Intuition To Find Your Soulmate

Our society trains us to ignore our instincts, mocking those who “trust their gut”, when the reality is that in your day to day life, your intuition is a powerful force. It represents millions of years of evolution, which warned our ancestors what was and was not dangerous, even if we could not reason it out at the time.

Unfortunately, you don’t have the time to reason about every single decision you make through the course of a day. Some things you handle by routine, but other times, you need to trust your gut and take a leap of faith.

All of this is especially true when it comes to romance and finding your soulmate. When you first meet another guy (or girl), you can chat and reason with them all you want, but you don’t truly know them. All you can do is trust your intuition, feel the vibe that you may have with that person, and proceed from there.

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If you’re confused about what to do, here are some key tips which anyone can use to find “the one” with the power of your intuition.

Nonverbal communication and vibes

It is stated that 93 percent of all communication is nonverbal. However, the study which came up with that number was flawed. Even if the exact number is not accurate, nonverbal communication is the primary method through which we get a vibe about what a person is like.

The moment that you see another person, they communicate with you through their clothes, hair, posture, and so on. From there, you can get a first impression, and will get a vibe one way or the other.

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You have to be careful about vibes. You may feel a rush of blood to your face and your nerves tingling when you meet some other person, but that does not guarantee you have met your soulmate. It can mean other things and could even signal that your intuition is warning you that they could be dangerous.

Given these mixed signs, it can be difficult to figure out what your intuition is and what your desires are upon meeting someone. One of my favorite tricks for figuring what my intuition is truly telling me is flipping a coin. The point is not what side the coin lands on, the key point is that when the coin is in the air, you will find yourself hoping that it will land on one side or the other. It’s at that moment, you will know what the right decision is. Follow your heart from there, and it will lead to good results.

This is not just a trick to force yourself to make a decision. The idea of a soulmate (or a soul split in two) reaches far into history, known by the Greeks as Plato’s concept of twin flame separation. These ancient traditions believed thought, logic, and reasoning were an obstacle to being reunited with your soulmate. Pressuring yourself to make a decision forces you to abandon logic and reasoning by trusting your gut.

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Sit down and think

So, you have a good night or date out with someone, and you find yourself wondering if you are in love with them, or if you are just in lust, or if there is something else you are feeling?

A good way to emote out your feelings is to sit down and write. As Lynn Robinson points out, sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and just write out everything you feel about your date. Do you want to be close with them all of the time, or do you just want to sleep with him at times?

The key point is to write down the first thing that comes to your mind, no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous it might be. By writing down your thoughts as they pop into your brain, you can record them. From there, you can settle into a course of action about what you want to do. That said, do NOT plan out your actions. The goal is to find out what your intuition is and do what it tells you to do.

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Listen to the danger voice

Animals and humans developed instincts primarily to avoid danger. If an animal sees a piece of meat in a strange position, its instinct might tell them that something is wrong. If it is careful, it may realize that there is a trap.

The same principle applies with relationships. If you are meeting a great, swell, guy, but your inner-voice is telling you that there is something off with him, listen to it.

Obviously, don’t go telling that guy, “Hey, there’s something off with you.” What you should do is take a step back and think about everything that has happened. Often, your intuition will pick up something about him that you have missed. However, if you spend enough time going over what just happened, you should be able to figure out what is odd.

Conclusion

We like to think of instincts as something feral that is not part of our reasoning, but that is backwards. Our instincts and intuition arrive when our brain has noticed something, but our reasoning has not caught up to it.

Trust your brain and your heart, and you will be able to find someone with whom you can have a great relationship.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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