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How To Use Your Intuition To Find Your Soulmate

How To Use Your Intuition To Find Your Soulmate

Our society trains us to ignore our instincts, mocking those who “trust their gut”, when the reality is that in your day to day life, your intuition is a powerful force. It represents millions of years of evolution, which warned our ancestors what was and was not dangerous, even if we could not reason it out at the time.

Unfortunately, you don’t have the time to reason about every single decision you make through the course of a day. Some things you handle by routine, but other times, you need to trust your gut and take a leap of faith.

All of this is especially true when it comes to romance and finding your soulmate. When you first meet another guy (or girl), you can chat and reason with them all you want, but you don’t truly know them. All you can do is trust your intuition, feel the vibe that you may have with that person, and proceed from there.

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If you’re confused about what to do, here are some key tips which anyone can use to find “the one” with the power of your intuition.

Nonverbal communication and vibes

It is stated that 93 percent of all communication is nonverbal. However, the study which came up with that number was flawed. Even if the exact number is not accurate, nonverbal communication is the primary method through which we get a vibe about what a person is like.

The moment that you see another person, they communicate with you through their clothes, hair, posture, and so on. From there, you can get a first impression, and will get a vibe one way or the other.

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You have to be careful about vibes. You may feel a rush of blood to your face and your nerves tingling when you meet some other person, but that does not guarantee you have met your soulmate. It can mean other things and could even signal that your intuition is warning you that they could be dangerous.

Given these mixed signs, it can be difficult to figure out what your intuition is and what your desires are upon meeting someone. One of my favorite tricks for figuring what my intuition is truly telling me is flipping a coin. The point is not what side the coin lands on, the key point is that when the coin is in the air, you will find yourself hoping that it will land on one side or the other. It’s at that moment, you will know what the right decision is. Follow your heart from there, and it will lead to good results.

This is not just a trick to force yourself to make a decision. The idea of a soulmate (or a soul split in two) reaches far into history, known by the Greeks as Plato’s concept of twin flame separation. These ancient traditions believed thought, logic, and reasoning were an obstacle to being reunited with your soulmate. Pressuring yourself to make a decision forces you to abandon logic and reasoning by trusting your gut.

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Sit down and think

So, you have a good night or date out with someone, and you find yourself wondering if you are in love with them, or if you are just in lust, or if there is something else you are feeling?

A good way to emote out your feelings is to sit down and write. As Lynn Robinson points out, sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and just write out everything you feel about your date. Do you want to be close with them all of the time, or do you just want to sleep with him at times?

The key point is to write down the first thing that comes to your mind, no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous it might be. By writing down your thoughts as they pop into your brain, you can record them. From there, you can settle into a course of action about what you want to do. That said, do NOT plan out your actions. The goal is to find out what your intuition is and do what it tells you to do.

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Listen to the danger voice

Animals and humans developed instincts primarily to avoid danger. If an animal sees a piece of meat in a strange position, its instinct might tell them that something is wrong. If it is careful, it may realize that there is a trap.

The same principle applies with relationships. If you are meeting a great, swell, guy, but your inner-voice is telling you that there is something off with him, listen to it.

Obviously, don’t go telling that guy, “Hey, there’s something off with you.” What you should do is take a step back and think about everything that has happened. Often, your intuition will pick up something about him that you have missed. However, if you spend enough time going over what just happened, you should be able to figure out what is odd.

Conclusion

We like to think of instincts as something feral that is not part of our reasoning, but that is backwards. Our instincts and intuition arrive when our brain has noticed something, but our reasoning has not caught up to it.

Trust your brain and your heart, and you will be able to find someone with whom you can have a great relationship.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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