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Life Doesn’t End After Divorce

Life Doesn’t End After Divorce

When I hear people talk about divorce, I often have somewhat mixed feelings on the entire matter. Of course, divorce is a painful experience; however, more often than not it is mentioned not as an experience but rather as an end of the line, like the terminal station of a broken and failed life. It is always sad to see people that are still full of life stay so firmly in the past and write off their future.

A good friend of mine got divorced two years ago. I witnessed the entire process of this vicious disease, so to speak. I saw how his marriage was slowly but steadily turning into a living hell. I saw how he was getting more and more reluctant to even mention his wife. I also saw how unpleasant (to say the least) the legal battle that ensued was.

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For a long time, my friend was in the throes of a mother of all depressions. He felt the way most people feel after a divorce: that his life was ruined and could never be the same again. He felt that something went badly off-track, and he would never be able to get all the pieces back together.

However, about half a year later something clicked. My friend stopped talking about his failed marriage and started showing new interest in life. Ar first, he dedicated all possible attention to work, in order to occupy all the free time he suddenly had. Then he slowly got more comfortable in other areas of life as well. When I saw him a year after the divorce, he told me, rather musingly, that he was glad things went the way they did. Sometimes a divorce is just another step in your life, that may lead to bigger and better things.

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Yes, it was painful at the moment, but sometimes you have to cut off a diseased limb lest the entire body gets infected. Actually, he was glad. Now, I wouldn’t go as far as to say he was “happy”, but he followed through with it when he did. When compared with the possibility of spending all this time in a marriage that would have deteriorated even more, suffering through a short burst of pain was certainly a better alternative.

So, why am I talking about all of this? Perhaps it’s to demonstrate; yet another time, a rather hackneyed yet still relevant maxim: things are what we make them to be. Even if right now divorce seems to be the end of the line for you, you should never think of it that way. After all, sometimes a divorce is a much better alternative than years upon years spent in the atmosphere of mutual hatred and resentment.

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Bad things happen, and you can do nothing about it, but divorce is just one of many bad things that we encounter throughout our lives. We should treat it just like all the other bad things. That is to say, learn the lesson they teach us, move on, and do our best not to repeat the same mistakes twice. As long as you remain true to yourself, don’t hold grudges, and don’t allow the past to determine your present and your future, a divorce cannot beat you down. That is, if you don’t allow it to do so.

Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl said in one of his books that the only thing we have full control of is our attitude in any given set of circumstances. In comparison with what a man must have endured through Nazi concentration camps, such a thing as divorce looks more than bearable.

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Hopefully, you found this article useful for you.

Featured photo credit: huffingtonpost.ca via huffingtonpost.ca

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Melissa Burns

Entrepreneur

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How to Keep Yourself Awake at Work Without Caffeine

How to Keep Yourself Awake at Work Without Caffeine

Keeping yourself awake at work can be a real challenge when you’re bored, exhausted or sleep-deprived.

But before you reach for that can of Red Bull, bottle of Mountain Dew, or pot of coffee, try these healthy remedies to stimulate your 5 different senses and help you stay awake at work:

Sight – Visual Stimulation

The first thing you do when you wake up is opening your eyes, so your visual stimulation is very important to keeping your energy level high.

1. Maximize your exposure to light.

Your body’s internal rhythm is regulated by the amount of light you receive. The greater your exposure, the more alert you will feel.

Open the shades and let in the sunlight. Step outside or look out the window. Turn on all the artificial lights in your office or around your work space.

2. Exercise your eyes (or give them a break).

Roll your eyes up and down, side to side and diagonally. Rotate them clockwise and then counterclockwise. Squeeze them shut and then open them wide. Do this several times.

Reading and sitting in front of a computer screen for long periods can lead to eye fatigue.

Take regular breaks with deliberate blinking and looking out into the distance.

3. Take note of your environment.

Learn to enjoy people-watching. Observe their activities, speech, body language and interactions with others. Notice the details of building, trees and other objects around you, including their color, shape and size.

By doing this, you’re not only relaxing your eye muscles but also calming your mind.

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Hearing – Auditory Stimulation

What you hear or listen to have direct effect on your brain. This is why we feel so annoyed and sometimes angry when we hear construction noise when we’re working.

4. Engage in conversation.

Talk to a friend or colleague. Trade funny stories. Discuss your business venture, a creative idea, the latest political scandal, or any other topic that interests you.

Practice mindful listening to what you and the other person are saying. Tune into the tone, volume and content of the conversation.

Learn how to practice better listening from this guide:

Why Listen to Reply Instead of Understand Is the Key to Failure

5. Listen to upbeat music.

Try hip hop, rock or jazz to keep you alert. Instrumental, non-distracting music works best.

Sing, whistle, and hum along if you can. Plug in the earphones if you must.

Smell – Olfactory Stimulation

If you’re feeling sleepy and suddenly smell the coffee, you’ll probably feel more energetic. This is why smell is an influential stimulation.

6. Work your nose.

Aroma therapists recommend essential oils of peppermint (to boost energy), rosemary (to build awareness), eucalyptus (to increase oxygen), cedarwood  (to activate your mind), and cinnamon (to improve your reaction time).

If you don’t have essential oils on hand, you can use lotions or burning candles that provide the same scents.

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Citrus like lemons, limes, grapefruits and oranges are also natural olfactory stimulants. Get a whiff of these citrus scents to stay awake.

Taste – Gustatory Stimulation

If you want an energetic day at work, you can’t let your tongue feeling plain and flavorless.

7. Have a good breakfast.

Start off with the most important meal of the day.

Think fresh, light and healthy: bran cereals, wholegrain breads, fruits, and yogurt.

Nix the heavy stuff like sausages, greasy eggs or pancakes.

Need some breakfasts inspirations? Check out these ideas:

20 Healthy Breakfast Choices That Will Save You Time

8. Drink lots of water.

Keep a glass or bottle of H2O near you and sip from it throughout the day. Dehydration can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and sleepy.

So make sure you drink enough water throughout the day. Not sure how much to drink? This can help you:

How Much Water Should You Drink Each Day (and How Much Is Too Much for You)

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Think that you’ve been drinking too little water? Try these friendly reminders:

3 Best Apps To Help You Drink Much More Water

9. Eat energy-boosting snacks.

Nuts and fruits (like bananas, apples and strawberries) are sure bets. Pairings with staying power include baby carrots with a low-fat cream cheese dip; celery sticks with peanut butter; red peppers with hummus; and plain yogurt with granola.

Avoid carb-filled, sugary snacks that make you crash and leave you feeling tired.

Here you can find some healthy snack ideas:

25 Healthy Snack Recipes To Make Your Workday More Productive

Touch – Tactile Stimulation

Last but not least, your sense of touch will make you physically feel more energetic and less stressful.

10. Splash cold water on your face.

Do this in the morning, during bathroom breaks and in the afternoon. Being exposed to cold water pushes your body to adjust and regulate its internal temperature, which in turn keeps you alert.

This works the same as you take a cold shower to increase mood and alertness. Take a look at this article to learn more about it:

5 Surprising Benefits of Cold Showers

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11. Use acupressure.

Apply pressure to, massage, or tap on the stimulation points of your body. These include the top of your head, the back of your neck, the back of your hand (between the thumb and index finger), just below the knee and your earlobes.

Watch this video to learn about the acupressure points you can try:

12. Get moving.

Move away from your chair and stand, walk, run or climb the stairs. Feel the earth under your feet. Stretch and twist. Do jumping jacks, lunges, push-ups and back bends.

And if you need to move more discreetly, wiggle your feet, bounce your knee up and down, scrunch your toes, or cross your legs.

You can also try some simple stretches and exercises at your desk:

Unlike addictive caffeine fixes, these remedies activate your senses, engage your attention, amp up your energy and prevent morning grogginess and afternoon slumps without the side effects or health risks.

Pick a few ways from this list of suggestions and practice them consistently. And when you do this consistently, you’ll soon see the positive results — a more energetic and productive you at work.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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