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5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

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5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

I love to see successful women. It’s a beautiful thing.

PsycholoyToday states that although things may look good for Hilary… “women continue to earn less money today than men and occupy fewer positions in politics and at the heads of Fortune 500 companies”.

So you see, women are still not matching men in the race for success and I write this not to remind the ladies that they are still lagging behind. But to give them insights into the traps I commonly see catch more women than men.

1. We Worry What Strangers Think

Have you ever asked yourself questions like…

“What if nobody likes this?”
“What if nobody takes me seriously?”
“What if I fail?”

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As a woman, I know that we are natural worriers. We overthink and have certain rituals for our thought processes, especially when making big or overwhelming decisions. There is nothing wrong with that but when these ‘thoughts’ consume us it creates room for self-doubt. And when self-doubt is created it makes room for the ego and the ego only wants you in your comfort zone.

To stop second guessing yourself, commit to not feeding into these thoughts. Start off by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Create a new ritual for when the “nobody will take me seriously” thoughts start to bubble up.

Discipline yourself and forcibly stop the negative thoughts. Distract your mind with overwhelming gratitude for how far you’ve come and visualize the success you want. Nobody reached success with a mind clouded with full of doubts.

2. You Want to Change Yourself

It’s great to listen to other successful people, inspiration is a powerful thing! It’s important to see somebody who was once in the same position as you, who worked hard and is now in the position where you want to be. But the problem with this is that we think to be as successful as that person we need to be like them.

Imitation may come in the form of dressing like this person, copying their website or their general persona. The problem with this is that you reject your own unique qualities. This ‘resistance’ stops your mind, soul and heart from growing. The reason certain people achieve a certain level of success is because of their own unique, special qualities.

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And yes, you can achieve the same level of success but in your own way. You don’t have to replicate their style, language, products or personality to achieve success. You are the magic and you are all that’s needed. Use what you were naturally gifted instead of faking somebody else gifts.

3. You’re Distracted by Shiny Objects

I could scream every time I’ve seen articles with titles like…

“10 Style Tips for Working Women”
“5 Shoes Everyone Working Mom Needs”
“10 Suitable Perfumes for the Workplace”

This kind of nonsense distracts you from your success. Allow me to make the decision for you about your hair, clothes and shoes in a very simple way! All you need to be is clean, presentable and know how to do your job well!

There are no shoes high enough, no clothes expensive enough or no hair perfect enough that will get you to success if you can’t do what’s really important, which is your job.

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RELATED: Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

4. You Ask Permission

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”― Ayn Rand

You may not literally ask for permission, but if the thought of standing alone with your decision or speaking up against someone else terrifies you, then all you think is left, is to ask permission. This type of permission is when you know you’ll receive no resistance from anybody, because what you’ve asked is so small nobody sees it as a challenge or because you know you are guaranteed to be backed by many others.

Leadership is not always happily standing apart, sometimes it’s standing apart when it terrifies you. But you do it because there is something inside you that knows deep down it’s the right thing. Don’t fight this voice. And even if you get ‘knocked back’ or laughed at, stand proud and know you had the guts to stay true to yourself.

Get back up and keep pushing because it normally takes more than one kick to knock a door down.

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5. You Break Her Down, Instead of Hold Her Up

The most common one woman do is to ‘hate’ on each other. So many of us, can’t wait to tear the other one down, why is this?
Why would it make someone so happy to see another woman fail? This mentality is sadistic and we should never gain pleasure from negativity situations.

How happy could you ever be to find pleasure inside of sadness? How successful do you think you could be when focusing on another women’s failure?

RELATED: Women Who Hate Other Women: The Psychological Root of Snarky

I’m not saying it’s your job to be the rock every time a woman fails, but when you put energy into negativity you bring more of it into you own life, plus it’s just not very nice. We all fall at some point, think about the treatment you’d prefer.

Conclusion

My takeaway message is not to ‘do it like a man’ because you can be successful being just yourself. My message is to start to beware of the ‘distraction’ traps men seem to easily ignore whilst woman do not. Let’s no longer rely on external forces like Governments to make the changes we can easily do ourselves.

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This is not about bashing the female gender; it’s about reminding you exactly what you are capable of, which is far greater than owning the latest Dior scent.

Featured photo credit: Josh Felise via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on August 25, 2021

Why Personal Branding Is Important to Your Career

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Why Personal Branding Is Important to Your Career

As a recruiter, I have met and interviewed hundreds of candidates who have no idea who they are.

Without a personal brand, candidates struggle to answer the question: “tell me about yourself—who are you?” They have no idea about who they are, what their strengths are, and how they can add value to the company. They present their CV’s believing that their CV is the key to their career success. In some ways, your CV still has its use. However, in today’s job market, you need more than a CV to stand out in a crowd.

According to Celinne Da Costa:[1]

“Personal brand is essentially your golden ticket to networking with the right people, getting hired for a dream job, or building an influential business.” She believes that “a strong personal brand allows you to stand out in an oversaturated marketplace by exposing desired audiences to your vision, skillset, and personality in a way that is strategically aligned with your career goals.”

A personal brand opens up your world to so many more career opportunities that you would never have been exposed to with just your CV.

What Is Your Personal Brand?

“Personal branding is how you distinctively market your uniqueness.” —Bernard Kelvin Clive

Today, the job market is very competitive and tough. Having a great CV will only let you go so far because everyone has a CV, but no one else has your distinct personal brand! It is your personal brand that differentiates you from everyone else and that is what people buy—you.

Your personal brand is your mark on the world. It is how people you interact with and the world see you. It is your legacy—it is more important than a business brand because your personal brand lasts forever.

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I have coached people who have very successful careers, and they come to me because they have suddenly found that they are not getting the opportunities or having the conversations that would them to their next role. They are having what I call a “career meltdown,” all because they have no personal brand.

A personal brand helps you become conscious of your differences and your uniqueness. It allows you to position yourself in a way that makes you stand out from the pack, especially among other potential job applicants.

Don’t get me wrong, having a great CV and a great LinkedIn profile is important. However, there are a few steps that you have to take to have a CV and LinkedIn profile that is aligned to who you are, the value you offer to the market, and the personal guarantee that you deliver results.

Building your personal brand is about strategically, creatively, and professionally presenting what makes you, you. Knowing who you are and the value you bring to the table enables you to be more informed, agile, and adaptable to the changing dynamic world of work. This is how you can avoid having a series of career meltdowns.

Your Personal Brand Is Essential for Your Career Success

In her article, Why Personal Branding Is More Important Than Ever, Caroline Castrillon outlines key reasons why a personal brand is essential for career success.

According to Castrillon,[2]

“One reason is that it is more popular for recruiters to use social media during the interview process. According to a 2018 CareerBuilder survey, 70% of employers use social media to screen candidates during the hiring process, and 43% of employers use social media to check on current employees.”

The first thing I do as a recruiter when I want to check out a candidate or coaching client is to look them up on LinkedIn or other social media platforms, such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Your digital footprint is the window that highlights to the world who you are. When you have no control over how you want to be seen, you are making a big mistake because you are leaving it up to someone else to make a judgment for you as to who you are.

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As Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, once said, “Your brand is what people say about you when you are not in the room.”

In her book, Becoming, Michelle Obama writes about the importance of having a personal brand and her journey to defining her personal brand. She wrote that:

“if you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others.”

When you have a personal brand, you are in control. You know exactly what people will say about you when you leave the room.

The magic of a personal brand is that gives you control over how you want to be seen in the world. Your confidence and self-belief enable you to leverage opportunities and make informed decisions about your career and your future. You no longer experience the frustrations of a career meltdown or being at a crossroads not knowing what to do next with your career or your life. With a personal brand, you have focus, clarity, and a strategy to move forward toward future success.

Creating your personal brand does not happen overnight. It takes a lot of work and self-reflection. You will be expected to step outside of your comfort zone not once, but many times.

The good news is that the more time you spend outside of your comfort zone, the more you will like being there. Being outside of your comfort zone is where you can test the viability of and fine-tune your personal brand.

5 Key Steps to Creating Your Personal Brand

These five steps will help you create a personal brand that will deliver you the results you desire with your career and in life.

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1. Set Your Personal Goals

What is it that you want to do in the next five years? What will your future self be doing in the next five to ten years? What is important to you? If you can answer these questions, then you are on the right path. If not, then you have to start thinking about them.

2. Create Your Unique Value Proposition

Create your unique value proposition by asking yourself these four questions:

  1. What are your personality features? What benefit do you offer people?
  2. Who are you and why do people enjoy working with you?
  3. What do you do and what do people want you to do for them? How do you solve their problems?
  4. What makes you different from others like you?

The answers to these questions will give you the information you need to create your professional story, which is the key step to creating your personal brand.

3. Write Your Professional Story

Knowing who you are, what you want, and the unique value you offer is essential to you creating your professional story. People remember stories. Your personal story incorporates your value proposition and tells people who you are and what makes you unique. This is what people will remember about you.

4. Determine Which Platforms Will Support Your Personal Brand

Decide which social media accounts and online platforms will best represent your brand and allow you to share your voice. In a professional capacity, having a LinkedIn profile and a CV that reflects your brand is key to your positioning in relation to role opportunities. People will be connecting with you because they will like the story you are telling.

5. Become Recognized for Sharing Your Knowledge and Expertise

A great way for you to promote yourself is by sharing knowledge and helping others. This is where you prove you know your stuff and you gain exposure for doing so. You can do this through social media, writing, commenting, video, joining professional groups, networking, etc. Find your own style and uniqueness and use it to attract clients, the opportunities, or the jobs you desire.

The importance of having a personal brand is not going to go away. In fact, it is the only way where you can stand out and be unique in a complex changing world of work. If you don’t have a personal brand, someone will do it for you. If you let this happen, you have no control and you may not like the story they create.

Standing out from others takes time and investment. Most people cannot make the change by themselves, and this is where engaging a personal brand coach is a viable option to consider.

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As a personal brand coach, working with my clients to create their personal brand is my passion. I love the fact that we can work together to create a personal story that defines exactly what people will say when you leave the room.

Other People’s Stories

Listening to other people’s stories is a great way to learn. In his article, 7 TED Talks About Personal Branding, Rafael Dos Santos presents the best Ted Talks where speakers share their stories about the “why,” “what,” and “how” of personal branding.((GuidedPR: 7 TED Talks About Personal Branding))

Take some time out to listen to these speakers sharing their stories and thoughts about personal branding. You will definitely learn so much about how you can start your journey of defining yourself and taking control of your professional and personal life.

Your personal brand, without a doubt, is your secret weapon to your career success. As Michelle Obama said,

“your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own.”

So, go own your story. Go on the journey to create your personal brand that defines who you are, highlights your uniqueness, and the value you offer to the world.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

Reference

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