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5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

I love to see successful women. It’s a beautiful thing.

PsycholoyToday states that although things may look good for Hilary… “women continue to earn less money today than men and occupy fewer positions in politics and at the heads of Fortune 500 companies”.

So you see, women are still not matching men in the race for success and I write this not to remind the ladies that they are still lagging behind. But to give them insights into the traps I commonly see catch more women than men.

1. We Worry What Strangers Think

Have you ever asked yourself questions like…

“What if nobody likes this?”
“What if nobody takes me seriously?”
“What if I fail?”

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As a woman, I know that we are natural worriers. We overthink and have certain rituals for our thought processes, especially when making big or overwhelming decisions. There is nothing wrong with that but when these ‘thoughts’ consume us it creates room for self-doubt. And when self-doubt is created it makes room for the ego and the ego only wants you in your comfort zone.

To stop second guessing yourself, commit to not feeding into these thoughts. Start off by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Create a new ritual for when the “nobody will take me seriously” thoughts start to bubble up.

Discipline yourself and forcibly stop the negative thoughts. Distract your mind with overwhelming gratitude for how far you’ve come and visualize the success you want. Nobody reached success with a mind clouded with full of doubts.

2. You Want to Change Yourself

It’s great to listen to other successful people, inspiration is a powerful thing! It’s important to see somebody who was once in the same position as you, who worked hard and is now in the position where you want to be. But the problem with this is that we think to be as successful as that person we need to be like them.

Imitation may come in the form of dressing like this person, copying their website or their general persona. The problem with this is that you reject your own unique qualities. This ‘resistance’ stops your mind, soul and heart from growing. The reason certain people achieve a certain level of success is because of their own unique, special qualities.

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And yes, you can achieve the same level of success but in your own way. You don’t have to replicate their style, language, products or personality to achieve success. You are the magic and you are all that’s needed. Use what you were naturally gifted instead of faking somebody else gifts.

3. You’re Distracted by Shiny Objects

I could scream every time I’ve seen articles with titles like…

“10 Style Tips for Working Women”
“5 Shoes Everyone Working Mom Needs”
“10 Suitable Perfumes for the Workplace”

This kind of nonsense distracts you from your success. Allow me to make the decision for you about your hair, clothes and shoes in a very simple way! All you need to be is clean, presentable and know how to do your job well!

There are no shoes high enough, no clothes expensive enough or no hair perfect enough that will get you to success if you can’t do what’s really important, which is your job.

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RELATED: Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

4. You Ask Permission

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”― Ayn Rand

You may not literally ask for permission, but if the thought of standing alone with your decision or speaking up against someone else terrifies you, then all you think is left, is to ask permission. This type of permission is when you know you’ll receive no resistance from anybody, because what you’ve asked is so small nobody sees it as a challenge or because you know you are guaranteed to be backed by many others.

Leadership is not always happily standing apart, sometimes it’s standing apart when it terrifies you. But you do it because there is something inside you that knows deep down it’s the right thing. Don’t fight this voice. And even if you get ‘knocked back’ or laughed at, stand proud and know you had the guts to stay true to yourself.

Get back up and keep pushing because it normally takes more than one kick to knock a door down.

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5. You Break Her Down, Instead of Hold Her Up

The most common one woman do is to ‘hate’ on each other. So many of us, can’t wait to tear the other one down, why is this?
Why would it make someone so happy to see another woman fail? This mentality is sadistic and we should never gain pleasure from negativity situations.

How happy could you ever be to find pleasure inside of sadness? How successful do you think you could be when focusing on another women’s failure?

RELATED: Women Who Hate Other Women: The Psychological Root of Snarky

I’m not saying it’s your job to be the rock every time a woman fails, but when you put energy into negativity you bring more of it into you own life, plus it’s just not very nice. We all fall at some point, think about the treatment you’d prefer.

Conclusion

My takeaway message is not to ‘do it like a man’ because you can be successful being just yourself. My message is to start to beware of the ‘distraction’ traps men seem to easily ignore whilst woman do not. Let’s no longer rely on external forces like Governments to make the changes we can easily do ourselves.

This is not about bashing the female gender; it’s about reminding you exactly what you are capable of, which is far greater than owning the latest Dior scent.

Featured photo credit: Josh Felise via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on July 23, 2019

How to Make a Career Change at 40 and Stop Feeling Stagnant at Work

How to Make a Career Change at 40 and Stop Feeling Stagnant at Work

There are plenty of people who successfully made a career change at the age of 40 or above:

The Duncan Hines cake products you see in the grocery store are a good example. Hines did not write his first food guide until age 55 and he did not license his name for cake mixes until age 73.

Samuel L. Jackson made a career change and starred alongside John Travolta in Pulp Fiction at the age of 46.

Ray Kroc was age 59 when he bought his first McDonald’s.

And Sam Walton opened his first Wal-Mart at the age of 44.

I could keep going, but I think you get the point. If you have a sound mind and oxygen in your lungs, you have the ability to successfully make a career change.

In this article, I’ll look into why making a career change at 40 seems so difficult for you, and how to make the change and get unstuck from your stagnant job.

What’s Holding You Back from Making a Career Change?

There are a flood of amazing reasons to make a career change at 40. Heck, you could argue the benefits of making a career change at any age. However, there is something a little different about making a career change at 40.

When you are 40, you probably have lots of “responsibilities” that come into the decision-making process. What do I mean by responsibilities, you ask?

Responsibilities tend to be our fears and self-doubt wrapped in a bow of logic and reason. You may say to yourself:

  • I have bills to pay and a family to support. Can I afford the risk associated with a career change?
  • What about the friends I have made over the years? I cannot just abandon them.
  • What if I do not like my career change as much as I thought I would? I could end up miserable and stuck in a worse situation.
  • My new career is so different than what I have been doing, I need additional training and certifications. Can I afford this additional expense and do I have the time recoup my investment?
  • The economy is not the best and there is so much uncertainty surrounding a new career. Maybe it would be better to wait until I retire from this company in 15 years, and then I can start something new.

If you have experienced any of these thoughts, they will only pacify you for a short period of time. Whether that time is a few weeks, a few months, or even a few years.

Since you know that you prefer to do something else for a living, you start to feel stagnant in your current position.

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Your reasons for inaction that used to work are no longer doing the trick. What used to be a small fissure in your dissatisfaction in your current position is now a chasm.

Ideally, you never stay in a situation until that point, but if you did, there is still hope.

4 Tips To Change Your Career at 40

You do not have to feel stagnant in your current role any longer. You can take steps to conquer your fears and self-doubt so you can accomplish your goal of changing your career.

The challenge of changing your career is not knowing where to begin. That feeling of overwhelm and the fear of uncertainty is what keeps most people from moving forward.

To help you successfully change your career at the age of 40, follow these four tips.

1. Value Your Time Above Money

There is nothing more valuable than your time. You are likely receiving a pay-check or two every month that is replenishing your income. Money is something you can always receive more of.

When it comes to your time, when it is gone, it is gone. That is why waiting for the perfect situation to make a career change is the wrong mindset to have.

Realistically, you will never find the perfect situation. There will always be something that could be better or a project you want to finish before you leave.

By placing your time above money, you will maximize your opportunity to succeed and avoid stagnation.

If you feel disconnected when you are at work, understand that you are not alone. According to a Gallup Poll, only 32% of U.S. employees said they were actively engaged at work.[1]

Whether you think your talents are not being properly utilized, the politics of promotion stress you out, or you feel called to do something else with your life; the time to act is now.

Do not wait until you retire in another 10 to 20 years to make a career change. Put a plan in place to make a career change now. You will thank yourself later.

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2. Build a Network

Making a career change is not going to be easy, but that does not mean it is impossible.

One benefit to being further along in your career is the people you associate with are further along in their career as well.

Even if most of the people in your immediate network are not in your target industry, you never know the needs of the people with whom they associate.

A friend of mine recently made a career change and entered the real estate industry. The first thing he did was tell everyone he knew that he was a licensed real estate agent.

It was not as though he thought everyone he knew was getting ready to sell their home. He wanted to make sure he was in the front of our mind if we spoke to anyone purchasing or selling their home.

You may have had a similar experience with a financial adviser canvasing the neighborhood. They wanted to let you know they were a local and licensed financial adviser. Whether you or someone you knew was shopping for an adviser, they wanted to make sure you thought of them first.

The power of your network being further along in their career is they may be the hiring manager or decision-maker.

You want to let people know you are considering a career move early in the process, so they are thinking of you when the need arises.

Let me put it to you in the form of a question: When is the best time to let people know you have a snow shoveling business?

In the summer when there is not a drop of snow on the ground.

Let them know about your business in the summer. Then ask them if it is okay to keep in touch with them until the need arises. Then you want to spend the entire fall season cultivating and nurturing the relationship. As a result, when the winter comes around, they already know who is going to shovel their snow.

If you want to set yourself apart from your competition, start throwing out those feelers before the need arises. Then you will be ahead of your competition who waited until the snow fell to start canvasing the neighborhood.

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Learn about networking here: How to Network So You’ll Get Way Ahead in Your Professional Life

3. Believe It Is Possible

One of the greatest mistakes people make when they want to try something new, is they never talk to people living the life they want.

If you only talk to friends who have not changed their career in 30 years, what kind of advice do you think they will give you? They are going to give you the advice that they live by. If they have spent 30 years in the same career, they most likely feel stability of career is essential to their life.

In life, your actions often mirror your beliefs. Someone who wants to start a business should not ask for advice from someone who never started one.

A person who never took the risk of starting a business is most likely risk adverse. Consequently, they are going to speak on the fact that most businesses fail within the first five years.

Instead, if you talk to someone who is running a business, they will advice you on the difficulties of starting a business. However, they will also share with you how they overcame those difficulties, as well as the benefits of being a business owner.

If you want to overcome your fears and self-doubt associated with changing your career at 40, you are going to need to talk to people who have successfully managed a career change.

They are going to provide you a realistic perspective on the difficulties surrounding the endeavor, but they are also going to help you believe it is possible.

Studies show the sources of your beliefs include,[2]

“environment, events, knowledge, past experiences, visualization etc. One of the biggest misconceptions people often harbor is that belief is a static, intellectual concept. Nothing can be farther from truth! Beliefs are a choice. We have the power to choose our beliefs.”

By choosing to absorb the successes of others, you are choosing to believe you can change your career at 40. On the other hand, if you absorb the fears and doubts of others, you have chosen to succumb to your own fears and self-doubt.

4. Put Yourself Out There

You are most likely going to have to leave your comfort zone to make a career change at 40.

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Reason-being, your comfort zone is built on the experiences you have lived thus far. So that means your current career is in your comfort zone.

Even though you may be feeling stagnant and unproductive in your career, it is still your comfort zone. This helps explain why so many people are unwilling to pursue a career change.

If you want to improve your prospects of launching your new career, you are going to need to attend industry events.

Whether these events are local or a large conference that everyone attends, you want to make it a priority to go. Ideally you want to start with local events because they may be a more intimate setting.

Many of these events have a professional development component where you can see what skill-sets, certification, and education people are looking for. Here you can find 17 best careers worth going back to school for at 40.

You can almost survey the group and build your plan of action according to the responses you receive.

The bonus of exposure to your new industry is you may find yourself getting lucky (when opportunity meets preparation) and creating a valuable relationship or landing an interview.

Final Thoughts

Whatever the reason, if you want to change your career, you owe it to yourself to do so. You have valuable in-sight from your current career that can help you position yourself above others.

Start sharing your story and desire to change your career today. Attend industry events and build a mindset of belief. You have everything you need to accomplish your goal, you only need to take action.

More Resources About Career Change

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/HY-Nr7GQs3k via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] News Gallup: Employee Engagement In US, Stagnant In 2015
[2] Indian J Psychiatry: The Biochemistry Of Belief

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