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5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

I love to see successful women. It’s a beautiful thing.

PsycholoyToday states that although things may look good for Hilary… “women continue to earn less money today than men and occupy fewer positions in politics and at the heads of Fortune 500 companies”.

So you see, women are still not matching men in the race for success and I write this not to remind the ladies that they are still lagging behind. But to give them insights into the traps I commonly see catch more women than men.

1. We Worry What Strangers Think

Have you ever asked yourself questions like…

“What if nobody likes this?”
“What if nobody takes me seriously?”
“What if I fail?”

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As a woman, I know that we are natural worriers. We overthink and have certain rituals for our thought processes, especially when making big or overwhelming decisions. There is nothing wrong with that but when these ‘thoughts’ consume us it creates room for self-doubt. And when self-doubt is created it makes room for the ego and the ego only wants you in your comfort zone.

To stop second guessing yourself, commit to not feeding into these thoughts. Start off by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Create a new ritual for when the “nobody will take me seriously” thoughts start to bubble up.

Discipline yourself and forcibly stop the negative thoughts. Distract your mind with overwhelming gratitude for how far you’ve come and visualize the success you want. Nobody reached success with a mind clouded with full of doubts.

2. You Want to Change Yourself

It’s great to listen to other successful people, inspiration is a powerful thing! It’s important to see somebody who was once in the same position as you, who worked hard and is now in the position where you want to be. But the problem with this is that we think to be as successful as that person we need to be like them.

Imitation may come in the form of dressing like this person, copying their website or their general persona. The problem with this is that you reject your own unique qualities. This ‘resistance’ stops your mind, soul and heart from growing. The reason certain people achieve a certain level of success is because of their own unique, special qualities.

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And yes, you can achieve the same level of success but in your own way. You don’t have to replicate their style, language, products or personality to achieve success. You are the magic and you are all that’s needed. Use what you were naturally gifted instead of faking somebody else gifts.

3. You’re Distracted by Shiny Objects

I could scream every time I’ve seen articles with titles like…

“10 Style Tips for Working Women”
“5 Shoes Everyone Working Mom Needs”
“10 Suitable Perfumes for the Workplace”

This kind of nonsense distracts you from your success. Allow me to make the decision for you about your hair, clothes and shoes in a very simple way! All you need to be is clean, presentable and know how to do your job well!

There are no shoes high enough, no clothes expensive enough or no hair perfect enough that will get you to success if you can’t do what’s really important, which is your job.

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RELATED: Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

4. You Ask Permission

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”― Ayn Rand

You may not literally ask for permission, but if the thought of standing alone with your decision or speaking up against someone else terrifies you, then all you think is left, is to ask permission. This type of permission is when you know you’ll receive no resistance from anybody, because what you’ve asked is so small nobody sees it as a challenge or because you know you are guaranteed to be backed by many others.

Leadership is not always happily standing apart, sometimes it’s standing apart when it terrifies you. But you do it because there is something inside you that knows deep down it’s the right thing. Don’t fight this voice. And even if you get ‘knocked back’ or laughed at, stand proud and know you had the guts to stay true to yourself.

Get back up and keep pushing because it normally takes more than one kick to knock a door down.

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5. You Break Her Down, Instead of Hold Her Up

The most common one woman do is to ‘hate’ on each other. So many of us, can’t wait to tear the other one down, why is this?
Why would it make someone so happy to see another woman fail? This mentality is sadistic and we should never gain pleasure from negativity situations.

How happy could you ever be to find pleasure inside of sadness? How successful do you think you could be when focusing on another women’s failure?

RELATED: Women Who Hate Other Women: The Psychological Root of Snarky

I’m not saying it’s your job to be the rock every time a woman fails, but when you put energy into negativity you bring more of it into you own life, plus it’s just not very nice. We all fall at some point, think about the treatment you’d prefer.

Conclusion

My takeaway message is not to ‘do it like a man’ because you can be successful being just yourself. My message is to start to beware of the ‘distraction’ traps men seem to easily ignore whilst woman do not. Let’s no longer rely on external forces like Governments to make the changes we can easily do ourselves.

This is not about bashing the female gender; it’s about reminding you exactly what you are capable of, which is far greater than owning the latest Dior scent.

Featured photo credit: Josh Felise via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

10 Secrets of Making Every Presentation Fun, Engaging, and Enjoyable

10 Secrets of Making Every Presentation Fun, Engaging, and Enjoyable

Not a lot of people are good at public speaking. You could even say that virtually everyone needs to get some practice, and preferably good guidance, before they can learn to stay calm when facing a room full of people. Having all eyes on you is an uncomfortable experience and it takes time to get used to. However, even if you can manage to control your stage fright and stay focused, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your presentation won’t put people to sleep. This is usually the case with long presentations on a very dull subject, with the presenter speaking in a monotone voice and dimming the lights to play a PowerPoint presentation.

You have to work hard to develop the right skills

If you want to be remembered and actually get people engaged, you need to make your presentation fun and enjoyable, without coming off as corny or desperate to please. I know, it doesn’t sound that easy at all! A good presentation during a promotional event or given to an important client can be a game changer for your business, so it is easy to get stressed out and fail to perform all that well. Luckily, giving an interesting lecture is something that can be practiced and perfected. There is plenty of advice out there on the topic, but let’s look at the most important aspects of giving a memorable and fun presentation.

1. Make your presentation short and sweet

With very long, meandering speeches you tend to lose the audience pretty early on, and from then on out it’s just a test of endurance for the few bravest listeners. Not only will people’s attention start to drop rapidly after sitting and listening to you talk for 30 minutes, but you also risk watering down your core ideas and leaving your audience with little in the way of key phrases and important bits of information to take away from the whole ordeal. Famous speakers throughout history have known the importance of condensing the information by using well thought out sentences and short phrases loaded with meaning.

JFK’s famous: ”It’s not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” expresses so much in very few words and gets the audience thinking. Ancient Spartans, for example were famous for their quick, dry wit, often demolishing their opponent’s argument with a single word or phrase. You’ll want to channel that ancient spirit and be as concise as possible when preparing your presentation.

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2. Open up with a good ice breaker

At the beginning, you are new to the audience. There is no rapport, no trust and the atmosphere is fairly neutral. Even if some of the people there know you personally, the concept of you as an authority on a particular matter giving a speech will be foreign to them. The best way to encourage a warm and friendly atmosphere is to get some kind of emotional response out of the audience right at the beginning. It doesn’t matter what emotion it is, you just need to connect with them on a more personal level. It can be shock, curiosity, laughter, knowing smirks, nervousness – whatever gets them out of that initial feeling of indifference. There are different kinds of effective ice-breakers, but generally speaking, the most successful ones utilize one of these tactics:

  • Joking
  • Tugging on their heart strings
  • Dropping a bombastic statement
  • Telling an interesting and relevant anecdote
  • Using a metaphor or drawing comparisons

You can make a small, self-deprecating comment, stir the presentation one way and then suddenly surprise the audience, use sarcasm, open up with a short childhood story that taught you a lesson, quote a famous person and elaborate on it from personal experience, use an inspirational anecdote or hit them with a bit of nostalgia. Just remember to keep it short and move on once you’ve gotten a reaction.

3. Keep things simple and to the point

Once you’re done warming up the crowd you can ease them into the core concepts and important ideas that you will be presenting. Keep the same presentation style thoughout. If you’ve started off a bit ironic, using dry wit, you can’t just jump into a boring monologue. If you’ve started off with a bang, telling a couple of great little jokes and getting the crowd riled up, you have to keep them happy by throwing in little jokes here and there and being generally positive and energetic during the presentation. You need a certain structure that you won’t deviate too far from at any point. A good game plan consists of several important points that need to be addressed efficiently. This means moving on from one point to another in a logical manner, coming to a sound conclusion and making sure to accentuate the key information.

4. Use a healthy dose of humor

Some of the best speeches and presentations in the world, which have been heard and viewed by millions, all feature plenty of humor. No matter the subject, a great speaker will use natural charisma, humor and beautiful language to convey their points and get the crowd excited about what they are saying. A great example of building rapport with the audience through the use of humor is Barrack Obama talking about the government building Iron Man.

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It is silly and fun, and absolutely not something that you would expect from a man in a position of power speaking in such a serious setting – and it’s exactly why it works. The more serious the situation and the bigger the accent on proper social behavior, the harder your jokes will hit.

5. Try to tell a story instead of ranting

Some people can do all of the above things right and still manage to turn their short and fun little presentation into a chaotic mess of information. You don’t want your speech to look like you just threw a bunch of information in a blender in no particular order. To avoid rambling, create a strong structure. Start with the ice breaker, introduce the core concepts and your goals briefly, elaborate on the various points in a bit more detail, draw logical conclusions and leave your audience with a clear takeaway message. You want to flow naturally from one part to the next like you are telling a big story chapter by chapter.

6. Practice your delivery

Standing in front of the mirror and practicing a speech or presentation is a technique as old as mirrors – well, come to think of it, as old as human speech, since you can see yourself reflected in any clear and calm body of water – and that means that it is tried and true. The theory is incredibly simple, yet the real problem is actually putting in the effort day in and day out. Work on your posture, your tone of voice, accent, pauses between sentences and facial expressions. The most important thing is to talk slowly and loudly enough to be heard and understood clearly. Many famous speakers, such as Demosthenes and King George VI, overcame speech impediments through hard work.

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7. Move around and use your hands

Although you won’t instill confidence in your project if you are very jittery, moving around erratically, not knowing what to do with your hands and making fast movements, standing dead still can be just as bad. You shouldn’t be afraid to use your arms and hands when talking as it makes you seem more passionate and confident. The same goes for moving around and taking up some space. However, try to make slower, calculated and deliberate movements. You want your movements to seem powerful, yet effortless. You can achieve this through practice.

8. Engage the audience by making them relate

Sometimes you will lose the audience somewhat in techno-babble, numbers, graphs and abstract ideas. At that point it is important to reel them back in using some good, old-fashioned storytelling. Make comparisons to events from everyday life that most people are more than familiar with. By making things look simple, not only will you help your audience get a better understanding of the subject by enabling them to visualize the information more clearly, you will also draw a connection between you. After all, you are all just regular people with similar experience, you just happen to be performing different roles at the moment.

9. Use funny images in your slides

Although slides are not really necessary at all times, if you do need them to make your point and present your information more effectively, it’s best to liven them up. They say that facts aren’t always black and white, and your presentation should reflect this. Add a bit of color, make the information stand out and use an interesting animation to switch from slide to slide. You can use the slides to add some more humor, both in terms of the text and the images. An image that is used to elicit a positive response needs to be funny within the context of what you are discussing. For example, if you are discussing the topic of authority, an image of Eric Cartman from South Park in a police uniform, demanding that you respect his “authoritah,” is a nice way to have a bit of fun and lighten things up.

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10. End on a more serious note

When all is said and done you will want the audience to remember the core concepts and keep thinking about what you have said after the presentation is over. This is why you should let things naturally calm down and end with an important idea, quote or even a question. Plant a seed in their mind and make them think. Let us turn to Patrick Henry for a great way to end a speech: “Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death.”

As you can see, there is quite a bit to learn when it comes to giving a good presentation, one that is both memorable and fun. Be sure to work on your skills tirelessly and follow in the footsteps of great orators.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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