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5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

5 Brutal Truths Why Women Aren’t as Successful as Men

I love to see successful women. It’s a beautiful thing.

PsycholoyToday states that although things may look good for Hilary… “women continue to earn less money today than men and occupy fewer positions in politics and at the heads of Fortune 500 companies”.

So you see, women are still not matching men in the race for success and I write this not to remind the ladies that they are still lagging behind. But to give them insights into the traps I commonly see catch more women than men.

1. We Worry What Strangers Think

Have you ever asked yourself questions like…

“What if nobody likes this?”
“What if nobody takes me seriously?”
“What if I fail?”

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As a woman, I know that we are natural worriers. We overthink and have certain rituals for our thought processes, especially when making big or overwhelming decisions. There is nothing wrong with that but when these ‘thoughts’ consume us it creates room for self-doubt. And when self-doubt is created it makes room for the ego and the ego only wants you in your comfort zone.

To stop second guessing yourself, commit to not feeding into these thoughts. Start off by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Create a new ritual for when the “nobody will take me seriously” thoughts start to bubble up.

Discipline yourself and forcibly stop the negative thoughts. Distract your mind with overwhelming gratitude for how far you’ve come and visualize the success you want. Nobody reached success with a mind clouded with full of doubts.

2. You Want to Change Yourself

It’s great to listen to other successful people, inspiration is a powerful thing! It’s important to see somebody who was once in the same position as you, who worked hard and is now in the position where you want to be. But the problem with this is that we think to be as successful as that person we need to be like them.

Imitation may come in the form of dressing like this person, copying their website or their general persona. The problem with this is that you reject your own unique qualities. This ‘resistance’ stops your mind, soul and heart from growing. The reason certain people achieve a certain level of success is because of their own unique, special qualities.

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And yes, you can achieve the same level of success but in your own way. You don’t have to replicate their style, language, products or personality to achieve success. You are the magic and you are all that’s needed. Use what you were naturally gifted instead of faking somebody else gifts.

3. You’re Distracted by Shiny Objects

I could scream every time I’ve seen articles with titles like…

“10 Style Tips for Working Women”
“5 Shoes Everyone Working Mom Needs”
“10 Suitable Perfumes for the Workplace”

This kind of nonsense distracts you from your success. Allow me to make the decision for you about your hair, clothes and shoes in a very simple way! All you need to be is clean, presentable and know how to do your job well!

There are no shoes high enough, no clothes expensive enough or no hair perfect enough that will get you to success if you can’t do what’s really important, which is your job.

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RELATED: Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

4. You Ask Permission

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”― Ayn Rand

You may not literally ask for permission, but if the thought of standing alone with your decision or speaking up against someone else terrifies you, then all you think is left, is to ask permission. This type of permission is when you know you’ll receive no resistance from anybody, because what you’ve asked is so small nobody sees it as a challenge or because you know you are guaranteed to be backed by many others.

Leadership is not always happily standing apart, sometimes it’s standing apart when it terrifies you. But you do it because there is something inside you that knows deep down it’s the right thing. Don’t fight this voice. And even if you get ‘knocked back’ or laughed at, stand proud and know you had the guts to stay true to yourself.

Get back up and keep pushing because it normally takes more than one kick to knock a door down.

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5. You Break Her Down, Instead of Hold Her Up

The most common one woman do is to ‘hate’ on each other. So many of us, can’t wait to tear the other one down, why is this?
Why would it make someone so happy to see another woman fail? This mentality is sadistic and we should never gain pleasure from negativity situations.

How happy could you ever be to find pleasure inside of sadness? How successful do you think you could be when focusing on another women’s failure?

RELATED: Women Who Hate Other Women: The Psychological Root of Snarky

I’m not saying it’s your job to be the rock every time a woman fails, but when you put energy into negativity you bring more of it into you own life, plus it’s just not very nice. We all fall at some point, think about the treatment you’d prefer.

Conclusion

My takeaway message is not to ‘do it like a man’ because you can be successful being just yourself. My message is to start to beware of the ‘distraction’ traps men seem to easily ignore whilst woman do not. Let’s no longer rely on external forces like Governments to make the changes we can easily do ourselves.

This is not about bashing the female gender; it’s about reminding you exactly what you are capable of, which is far greater than owning the latest Dior scent.

Featured photo credit: Josh Felise via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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